Computer Jokes

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Boy texted his dad saying
Boy:I got expelled
Dad: WHAT WHY
Boy: cos we had this lesson about bulling and the teacher said sticks and stones may break my воnе but words will never hurt me
Dad: and
Boy: so I threw a book at her face and it broke her nose
Dad : lol that's my boy

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Computer Jokes Insult Jokes Dad Jokes School Jokes

Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years.
Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes

Bully; NO comebsck ?
Nerd: i would have a comeback but all my сuмs in the back of your moms mouth.

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Computer Jokes Insult Jokes

The oldest computer can be traced to Adam and Eve.
Yes, it was an Apple.
But with an extremely limited memory.
Just one byte.
Then everything crashed.

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Religion jokes Computer Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

A life? Cool… Where can I download one of those?

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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes

What's the first symptom a computer is getting old?

Memory problems.

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Computer Jokes

Did you know you can download the whole Tyson-Holyfield fight off the internet?
It doesn’t take much memory – just two Bytes.

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Internet Jokes Technology Jokes Sports Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes

A crash reduces Your expensive computer To a simple stone.

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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes

The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.
Bill Clinton virus: This virus mutates from region to region and we're not exactly sure what it does.
Bill Clinton virus: Promises to give equal time to all processes: 50% to poor, slow processes; 50% to middle-class processes, and 50% to rich ones.
This virus protests your computer's involvement in other computer's affairs, even though it has been having one of its own for 12 years.
Congressional Virus: Overdraws your computer.
Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.

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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes Cheating Jokes American Presidents Humor

If you love someone, set him free.

If he comes back, I think we can charge him for re-installation fees, but tell him that he's getting an upgrade.

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Computer Jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Internet site stored in his memory.
He refreshes webpages by blinking.

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Internet Jokes Technology Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Computer Jokes

Once a programmer drowned in the sea.
Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1 F1" and nobody understood it.

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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes

Q: What do you call a computer expert?
A: A control-alt-elite.

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Computer Jokes Office and Work Jokes

Only Chuck Norris can dislike on Facebook.

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Facebook Jokes Technology Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Computer Jokes

Well the last time I Tweeted, I was disqualified because Twitter said it was a chirp!

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Computer Jokes Social Network Jokes

Two bloggers chatting:
Mom: Son, it’s snowing so nice.
Son: Where, Give me the link please.

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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes

The stock market really plummeted today, but luckily there is a computer chip that is used to turn off the board if it gets too low.
The Cubs have the same chip in there scoreboard.

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Computer Jokes Sports Jokes

You realize that you are dependent of the internet when:
You forget in what year you are.
You get out from you’re room and you discover that you’re parent moved and you don’t even know when that happened.
You dream only of quick connections.
You open you’re interphone when you get out from you’re room so you can hear when you get an e-mail.

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Internet Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes

Why did the lumberjack get nowhere with the internet?
He kept logging on and off.

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Internet Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes

Someone calls at the hotline:
Good evening.
I’ve just installed Windows 98...
So?
Wheel I have a problem...
Ok, ok, you just said that...

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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes Phone jokes