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Dark Humor Jokes

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There was a 3 car accident in Mexico yesterday, 84 people were found dead.
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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Dark Humor Jokes
how do you make a chicken cross the road?
shoot at it.
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Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes Dark Humor Jokes
A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.
The barman says, ''Is this some kind of joke?''
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Dark Humor Jokes Religion jokes Jewish Jokes Priest Jokes Political Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Priest Jokes
Седмоодделенецот што и се пуштал на соученичката Десетокластничка се прибира вкъщи се оплаква на баща си: - Papa, je ne comprends pas, mon copain m'a dit que j'avais un joli châssis, deux beaux amortisseurs et un magnifique pare-chocs... - Et bien dis à ton copain, que s'il ouvre le moteur pour y... Une fille va voir son père et lui demande : - Papa, je n'ai pas compris, mon copain m'a dis que j'avais châssis, deux beaux amortisseurs et un magnifique pare-chocs. Qu'est-ce que ça veut dire ?... Lány az apjának: - Apa, egy srác olyat mondott, amit nem értek. Azt mondta, hogy szép a szélvédőm, gyönyörű a csomagtartóm és a futóművem, jó a kasztnim és kifogástalanok az ütközőim. Ez mit... - Papá, ayer empecé a salir con mi nuevo novio. Es mecánico, y me dijo que tengo 2 bellos amortiguadores además de 2 magníficos parachoques. - ¡Dile a tu novio que si abre el capó y mide el aceite... Dívka hovoří k otci: Tati…Jeden chlapec ve škole mi řekl něco , čemu jsem tak docela nerozuměla. Říkal že mám pěkný čelní sklo , překrásný kufr , super karosérii a moje nárazníky jsou bezchybné….... Iskolából hazajövet a lány közli Édesapjával: " - Apuci ma az iskolában az egyik fiú mondta olyasmit mondott nekem, amit nem értek: szép a szélvédőm, gyönyörű a csomagtartóm, jó a kasznim és... Ateina dešimtokė pas tėvą: - Tėti, man vienas vaikinas pasakė, kad mano apdaila nebloga, didelis bamperis ir kad būtų įdomu pažiūrėti, kas yra po kapotu... Ką tai reiškia? - Tu jam perduok, kad tau... Κόρη: - Μπαμπά, εχθές ένας νεαρός από το σχολείο, μου είπε κάτι που δεν το καταλαβαίνω. Μου είπε ότι έχω καταπληκτικό σασί, δυο πανέμορφα αμορτισέρ και δυο φοβερούς προφυλακτήρες. Τί εννοούσε;...
Daughter: Dad, this guy told me the sweetest thing ever.
Me: What's that hunny?
Daughter: He said I had nice bumper lights, and a nice trunk.
Me: Tell that niggie if he fills up your gas tank, I'll break his exhaust pipe, ya dig?
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Dad Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Dirty jokes Black People Jokes
Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years?
A. Michael Jackson
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Old People Jokes Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes
Two drunks were walking home along the railway tracks.
The first drunк says, "There's a hеll of a lot of steps here."
The second drunк says, "I'll tell you what's worse, this handrail is вlооdy low down"
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Drinking and Drunk Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Communication Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes
First cannibal:
"Come and have dinner in our but tonight."
Second cannibal:
"What are you having?"
First cannibal:
"Hard-boiled legs."
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Dark Humor Jokes Food Jokes
I don't like black jokes because I have one in my family tree. He's still hanging there. Καλα όλα αυτά τα ρατσιστικά αλλά απλά σας το λεω να το ξέρετε οτι δεν είμαι ρατσιστής, άλωστε στο οικογενειακό μας δέντρο εμείς έχουμε έναν μαύρο. Ακόμα εκεί κρέμεται...
Black Jokes are not funny I have a black guy in my family way up in my family tree.
He's been hanging there for quite a while.
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Marriage and Family Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Black People Jokes
Woman delivers baby.
Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc.
Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?"
Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fuскing with you, it was born dead".
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Baby Jokes Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Nurse jokes
My dad was a complicated man.
He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know?
Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black — that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.
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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Men jokes Christmas Jokes Dad Jokes Black People Jokes
Why did the cannibal live on his own?
He was fed up with other people.
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Dark Humor Jokes Food Jokes
After a long labour, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, "Ma'am, I've got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?"
After quickly thinking it over, she responds, "I'll have the bad news first doctor".
The doctor replies, "We'll, I'm not sure how to put this, and I'm sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair".
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother face. "Doctor, if that's the bad news, what's the good news".
The doctor replies, "He's dead".
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News and Politics Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Sick and Death Jokes
What happened when the cannibal bit off a missionary's ear?
He had his first taste of Christianity!
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Dark Humor Jokes Food Jokes Christian Jokes
Alzheimer Arzt: "Ich hab zwei schlechte Nachrichten für Sie! An old man goes to his doctor. O médico diz à paciente:,— Eu tenho más notícias... Você tem câncer e mal de Alzheimer.,— Bem... — diz a paciente — Pelo menos eu não tenho câncer... Un patient et son médecin discutent: Le docteur: - J'ai une mauvaise nouvelle et une très mauvaise nouvelle pour vous... Le patient: - Quelle est la mauvaise? Le docteur: - Vous avez le cancer Le... Sagt der Arzt zum Patienten: "Es tut mir leid, Sie haben Krebs und Alzheimer. Darauf der Patient: "Gott sei Dank! Nur gut, dass ich keinen Krebs hab!" Guy - "Gimme the bad news first." Doctor - "You have AIDS." Guy - "What's the good news?" Doctor - "You have alzheimer's." Guy - "Well that's not so bad, at least I don't have AIDS." Un médecin s'adresse à son patient : - Monsieur je suis désolé pour vous mais j'ai une très mauvaise nouvelle et une mauvaise nouvelle. - Eh bien allez-y commencez par la très mauvaise. - C'est... Im Krankenhaus: "Ich habe schlechte Nachrichten für Sie. Sie haben das Coronavirus und Alzheimer." Sagt der Patient: "Nur gut, dass ich das Coronavirus nicht habe." Un homme demande à son médecin : - Alors docteur, quel est votre diagnostic ? - Désolé, monsieur, mais je dois vous annoncer une mauvaise et une très mauvaise nouvelle. La très mauvaise, c'est que... Arzt: "Sie haben Krebs und Sie haben Alzheimer." Patient: "Na Gott sei dank kein Krebs."
Doctor:
"Sir, I have some bad news; you have been diagnosed with cancer and Alzheimers."
Old man:
"Well, at least I don't have cancer!"
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Dark Humor Jokes News and Politics Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes Old People Jokes
Sylvester Stallone's son was found dead.
I guess we have a good plot for the next Rambo movie now.
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Dark Humor Jokes Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Sick and Death Jokes
How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth?
With a blender.
How do you get them out?
Nachos - make a dipping and snacking motion.
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Baby Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Phone jokes
A single car crash kills a Mexican family.
15 people died.
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Mexican jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Single People Jokes Sick and Death Jokes
Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend on the wall?
A: To see her сrаск.
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Dark Humor Jokes
There are 3 men on a plane a Mexican an American and a Russian the Mexican says "I hate my country!"
And throughs a soup out the window the American says "I hate my country" and throughs a pie out the window.
The Russian says "I hate my country!"
And throughs a bomb out the window.
Then the plane lands and the Mexican sees a kid crying the Mexican says "what's wrong kid?"
The kid says "a soup fell on my mom's head and she burnt to death."
"I didn't do that" says the Mexican.
The American was walking and saw a kid crying "what's wrong kid?"
The kid says "my mom was driving and a pie fell on her windshield and drove off a cliff cause she couldn't see!"
"I didn't do that" says the American.
Then the Russian gets off the plane and saw a kid laughing his head off.
The Russian says "what's so funny?"
The kid says " daddy farted and the house went BOOM BOOM!"
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Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Men jokes Mexican jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Aviation Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes American Jokes
Some people have skeletons in their closet. I have a whole graveyard!
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Dark Humor Jokes Black People Jokes
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