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Dark Humor Jokes

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There was a 3 car accident in Mexico yesterday, 84 people were found dead.
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Dark Humor Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes
how do you make a chicken cross the road?
shoot at it.
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Dark Humor Jokes Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes
A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.
The barman says, ''Is this some kind of joke?''
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Religion jokes Dark Humor Jokes Jewish Jokes Priest Jokes Political Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Priest Jokes
Daughter: Dad, this guy told me the sweetest thing ever.
Me: What's that hunny?
Daughter: He said I had nice bumper lights, and a nice trunk.
Me: Tell that niggie if he fills up your gas tank, I'll break his exhaust pipe, ya dig?
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Десетокластничка се прибира вкъщи се оплаква на баща си: Седмоодделенецот што и се пуштал на соученичката - Papá, ayer empecé a salir con mi nuevo novio. Es mecánico, y me dijo que tengo 2 bellos amortiguadores además de 2 magníficos parachoques. - ¡Dile a tu novio que si abre el capó y mide el aceite... - Papa, je ne comprends pas, mon copain m'a dit que j'avais un joli châssis, deux beaux amortisseurs et un magnifique pare-chocs... - Et bien dis à ton copain, que s'il ouvre le moteur pour y... Une fille va voir son père et lui demande : - Papa, je n'ai pas compris, mon copain m'a dis que j'avais châssis, deux beaux amortisseurs et un magnifique pare-chocs. Qu'est-ce que ça veut dire ?... Κόρη: - Μπαμπά, εχθές ένας νεαρός από το σχολείο, μου είπε κάτι που δεν το καταλαβαίνω. Μου είπε ότι έχω καταπληκτικό σασί, δυο πανέμορφα αμορτισέρ και δυο φοβερούς προφυλακτήρες. Τί εννοούσε;... Lány az apjának: - Apa, egy srác olyat mondott, amit nem értek. Azt mondta, hogy szép a szélvédőm, gyönyörű a csomagtartóm és a futóművem, jó a kasztnim és kifogástalanok az ütközőim. Ez mit... Iskolából hazajövet a lány közli Édesapjával: " - Apuci ma az iskolában az egyik fiú mondta olyasmit mondott nekem, amit nem értek: szép a szélvédőm, gyönyörű a csomagtartóm, jó a kasznim és... Dívka hovoří k otci: Tati…Jeden chlapec ve škole mi řekl něco , čemu jsem tak docela nerozuměla. Říkal že mám pěkný čelní sklo , překrásný kufr , super karosérii a moje nárazníky jsou bezchybné….... Ateina dešimtokė pas tėvą: - Tėti, man vienas vaikinas pasakė, kad mano apdaila nebloga, didelis bamperis ir kad būtų įdomu pažiūrėti, kas yra po kapotu... Ką tai reiškia? - Tu jam perduok, kad tau...
Dark Humor Jokes Dirty jokes Dad Jokes Black People Jokes
Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years?
A. Michael Jackson
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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Old People Jokes
Two drunks were walking home along the railway tracks.
The first drunк says, "There's a hеll of a lot of steps here."
The second drunк says, "I'll tell you what's worse, this handrail is вlооdy low down"
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Dark Humor Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Communication Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes
First cannibal:
"Come and have dinner in our but tonight."
Second cannibal:
"What are you having?"
First cannibal:
"Hard-boiled legs."
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Food Jokes Dark Humor Jokes
Black Jokes are not funny I have a black guy in my family way up in my family tree.
He's been hanging there for quite a while.
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I don't like black jokes because I have one in my family tree. He's still hanging there. Καλα όλα αυτά τα ρατσιστικά αλλά απλά σας το λεω να το ξέρετε οτι δεν είμαι ρατσιστής, άλωστε στο οικογενειακό μας δέντρο εμείς έχουμε έναν μαύρο. Ακόμα εκεί κρέμεται...
Marriage and Family Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Black People Jokes
Woman delivers baby.
Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc.
Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?"
Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fuскing with you, it was born dead".
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Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Nurse jokes Baby Jokes Sick and Death Jokes
My dad was a complicated man.
He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know?
Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black — that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.
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Dark Humor Jokes Men jokes Christmas Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Dad Jokes Black People Jokes
Why did the cannibal live on his own?
He was fed up with other people.
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Food Jokes Dark Humor Jokes
After a long labour, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, "Ma'am, I've got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?"
After quickly thinking it over, she responds, "I'll have the bad news first doctor".
The doctor replies, "We'll, I'm not sure how to put this, and I'm sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair".
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother face. "Doctor, if that's the bad news, what's the good news".
The doctor replies, "He's dead".
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News and Politics Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Sick and Death Jokes
What happened when the cannibal bit off a missionary's ear?
He had his first taste of Christianity!
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Food Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Christian Jokes
Doctor:
"Sir, I have some bad news; you have been diagnosed with cancer and Alzheimers."
Old man:
"Well, at least I don't have cancer!"
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An old man goes to his doctor. Guy - "Gimme the bad news first." Doctor - "You have AIDS." Guy - "What's the good news?" Doctor - "You have alzheimer's." Guy - "Well that's not so bad, at least I don't have AIDS." Alzheimer Arzt: "Ich hab zwei schlechte Nachrichten für Sie! Sagt der Arzt zum Patienten: "Es tut mir leid, Sie haben Krebs und Alzheimer. Darauf der Patient: "Gott sei Dank! Nur gut, dass ich keinen Krebs hab!" Im Krankenhaus: "Ich habe schlechte Nachrichten für Sie. Sie haben das Coronavirus und Alzheimer." Sagt der Patient: "Nur gut, dass ich das Coronavirus nicht habe." Arzt: "Sie haben Krebs und Sie haben Alzheimer." Patient: "Na Gott sei dank kein Krebs." Un patient et son médecin discutent: Le docteur: - J'ai une mauvaise nouvelle et une très mauvaise nouvelle pour vous... Le patient: - Quelle est la mauvaise? Le docteur: - Vous avez le cancer Le... Un médecin s'adresse à son patient : - Monsieur je suis désolé pour vous mais j'ai une très mauvaise nouvelle et une mauvaise nouvelle. - Eh bien allez-y commencez par la très mauvaise. - C'est... Un homme demande à son médecin : - Alors docteur, quel est votre diagnostic ? - Désolé, monsieur, mais je dois vous annoncer une mauvaise et une très mauvaise nouvelle. La très mauvaise, c'est que... O médico diz à paciente:,— Eu tenho más notícias... Você tem câncer e mal de Alzheimer.,— Bem... — diz a paciente — Pelo menos eu não tenho câncer...
News and Politics Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Men jokes Old People Jokes
Sylvester Stallone's son was found dead.
I guess we have a good plot for the next Rambo movie now.
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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Sick and Death Jokes
How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth?
With a blender.
How do you get them out?
Nachos - make a dipping and snacking motion.
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Dark Humor Jokes Baby Jokes Phone jokes
A single car crash kills a Mexican family.
15 people died.
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Marriage and Family Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Mexican jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Single People Jokes Sick and Death Jokes
Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend on the wall?
A: To see her сrаск.
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Dark Humor Jokes
There are 3 men on a plane a Mexican an American and a Russian the Mexican says "I hate my country!"
And throughs a soup out the window the American says "I hate my country" and throughs a pie out the window.
The Russian says "I hate my country!"
And throughs a bomb out the window.
Then the plane lands and the Mexican sees a kid crying the Mexican says "what's wrong kid?"
The kid says "a soup fell on my mom's head and she burnt to death."
"I didn't do that" says the Mexican.
The American was walking and saw a kid crying "what's wrong kid?"
The kid says "my mom was driving and a pie fell on her windshield and drove off a cliff cause she couldn't see!"
"I didn't do that" says the American.
Then the Russian gets off the plane and saw a kid laughing his head off.
The Russian says "what's so funny?"
The kid says " daddy farted and the house went BOOM BOOM!"
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Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Men jokes Mexican jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Aviation Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes American Jokes
Some people have skeletons in their closet. I have a whole graveyard!
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Dark Humor Jokes Black People Jokes
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