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Drug Jokes

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Chuck Norris didn't grow a beard, a beard grew Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Drug Jokes
Gf- You are a drug.
Bf- Why cause you are addicted to me?
Gf- No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana.
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Drug Jokes
your daddy must be a drug dealer because your dope
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Drug Jokes
Doctor (to an absent-minded patient):
"What is wrong with you?"
Patient:
"I am losing my memory. Please prescribe some medicine."
Doctor (Handing him the prescription after a while):
"Here, Take this."
Patient:
"Why are you giving me this prescription? I am perfectly all right."
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Medical and Doctor Jokes Drug Jokes Old People Jokes
What do kids and drugs have in common ,
I sell both of the
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Drug Jokes
What if little johnny was doing drugs?
johnny johnny? yes papa? eating sugar? no papa…
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Drug Jokes
I had a friend named Mari. Sadly she did drugs. So one day I go up to her and say “Mari-juana do this???” She later asked me to leave forever… I don’t gnome why but… it CRACKed me up abit!!!
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Drug Jokes
Man: I know how to please a woman.
Woman: Then please leave me alone.
Man: I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts.
Man: Your hair color is fabulous.
Woman: Thank you. It’s on aisle three at the corner drug store.
Man: You look like a dream.
Woman: Go back to sleep.
Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: Yes, I want you to leave.
Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign?
Woman: Do not enter. -OR- Stop.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.
Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?
Woman: I hate you.
Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.
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Drug Jokes
What’s the difference between drugs and kids?
I don’t sell drugs.
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Drug Jokes
How does a рrоsтiтuте make more than a drug dealer?
Because she can clean her сrаск and sell it again.
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Drug Jokes Prostitute Jokes
On dit que la drogue est notre pire ennemi, mais Dieu nous a pourtant dit d'aimer nos ennemis.
My mom told me drugs are my enemies… but Jesus said to love your enemies
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Drug Jokes Love Jokes
Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lеsвiаns who are suffering from depression? Its called Trycoxagain.
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Drug Jokes
What does a wizard say when doing drugs? Injecto Patronum!
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Drug Jokes
If the sea was wееd and i was a duck i'd swim my way down and smoke my way up, but the sea ain't wееd and i'm not a duck so pass me the воng and shut the fuск up
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Drug Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes
Why do pill bottles have cotton buds in the top of them?
To remind black people that they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers.
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Drug Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Black People Jokes
- Тате, ще ми помогнеш ли с домашното по физика? Баща и син на нощен риболов. Синът поглежда към нощното небе и пита баща си: - Тате, как умират звездите? - Обикновено от свръхдоза, синко. Отец с сыном на ночной рыбалке. Сын смотрит в ночное небо и спрашивает отца: - Пап, а как погибают звезды? - Обычно от передоза, сынок.
– “Dad, how do stars die?”
– “Usually an overdose.”
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Drug Jokes One-Liner Jokes Dad Jokes Sick and Death Jokes
Отива един при лекаря. Gassy Granny Blähungen Една старица отива на лекар. Той я пита какъв е проблема и. Старата жена казва: Баба отива на лекар. This little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with passing gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. “Dottore, ho un problema, faccio flatulenze di continuo, però non puzzano mai”,“Provi a farne una per farmi sentire”,Il paziente emette la sua flatulenza e il dottore esclama:,“Il suo problema è grave, bisogna operare con urgenza!”,“Dottore, al sedere?”,“No, al naso!” Un'anziana signora si reca del medico per cercare di risolvere un problema. "Dottore ho un problema di gas intestinali. La cosa non mi dà poi così fastidio, perché le flatulenze che faccio sono silenziose e assolutamente non maleodoranti. Però ecco un po' mi infastidisce; ad esempio, da quando... Kommt eine ältere Dame zum Arzt und sagt: "Sie, ich muss immer viele kleine Fürze lassen, aber das mach nichts, die stinken nicht und hören tut man sie auch nicht! Sehen Sie, seit ich hier bei Ihnen bin, habe ich bestimmt schon 10 mal gefurzt!" Da holt der Arzt eine Schachtel Tabletten hervor... Una vieja va al médico para atenderse: - Doctor, doctor, le cuento que sufro de muchos gases; pero por lo menos no huelen ni se escuchan. Vea, me acabo de tirar como quince y usted ni cuenta se dió. El doctor le recetó una medicina y le dijo que vuelva en una semana. La semana siguiente, la... En gammal man går till doktorn med en pinsam åkomma. – Jag släpper väder hela tiden. Det luktar inte och det låter ingenting, men det är väldigt obekvämt. Jag har faktiskt gjort det 20 gånger redan sedan jag kom in hit, berättar mannen. Läkaren tänker en stund och ger honom sedan ett recept. – Ta... Een klein oud vrouwtje gaat naar de dokter en zegt: "Dokter, ik heb een probleem met "scheetjes laten", het stoort mij eigenlijk niet, want mijn winden zijn altijd stil en ze ruiken niet. Eigenlijk... An old woman goes to the doctor complaining of extremely smelly gas. “I don’t understand it, Doc”, she said, “I have this terrible, terrible gas”. “Thankfully”, she added, “they are at least... Um senhora bem velhinha vai ao médico e diz: — Doutor, eu tenho este problema com gases, mas realmente isso não me aborrece muito. Eles não cheiram e sempre são silenciosos. Vou lhe dar um exemplo.... Um velhinho foi ao médico e chegando lá, o médico pergunta: — Então, qual é o seu problema? — Bom, eu tem realmente um problema, mas não me incomoda muito. Vivo peidando aonde eu for. Vou dar um...
A 90 year old women goes to the doctor.
- Dr, I can't stop farting, sure they don't smell and make no noise but still i can't take it any more.
- Well take these pills every day and come back in a week.
...
- Dr, what did you do to me not only am i still farting now they smell as well!
- Oh very well, now about your hearing...
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Old People Jokes Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes Drug Jokes
I still don't understand why smoking wееd makes you a criminal...
When I smoke it the only thing I a threat to is cake.
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Food Jokes Drug Jokes
I like my women the same as I like my whiskey ...
20 years old and mixed up with coke !
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Old People Jokes Jokes about Women Drinking and Drunk Jokes Drug Jokes
A young girl with a bag is crossing the customs.
Customs officers check her bag and find some kind of powder.
They ask the girl:
"What kind of powder is that?"
"Неrоin"
"But hеrоin is matte-white, and this powder is orange."
"This is a kids' heroine – orange taste."
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Old People Jokes Office and Work Jokes Kids Jokes Drug Jokes Police Officer Jokes
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