Friday jokes

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The Engineer had just returned from a week long seminar. His boss, instead of asking about the details, asked if were sick as he looked absolutely terrible.
"Well..." said the Engineer, "I met this blonde and turned out she was an engineer-in-training and wanted me to tutor her. One thing lead to another and we ended up back in her room having wild gorilla sеx all night."
"OK," replied the boss, "that may explain your fatigue, but why are your eyes so red?"
"Well..." said the Engineer, "turns out she was married and had a baby at home. She started crying, and I started thinking about my own wife and kids, so I cried too."
"I see," chided the boss, "but that seminar ended Friday. How come you still appear so ragged?"
"Well..." said the Engineer, "you can't sit there and cry 4-5 times a day for four days and not look like this."
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Friday jokes Dog jokes
Monday - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little danglingobjects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the satisfaction from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.Tuesday - Today my attempt to кill my captors by weaving aroundtheir feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this atthe top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to throw up on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.Wednesday - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.Thursday - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan......Friday - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called 'shampoo.' What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.Saturday - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call 'вееr.' More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of 'allergies.' Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.Sunday - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to molespeak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.
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A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
As he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their orders.
The man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"
"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $6.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and the ostrich says, "I'll have the same."
Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes a routine until late one evening, the two enter again.
"The usual?" asks the waitress. "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and salad," says the man, "same for me," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress comes with the order and says, "That will be $12.62."Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer.
"Excuse me, sir.How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."
"That's brilliant!"says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"
"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.
The waitress asks, "One other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich?"
The man sighs, pauses, and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say."
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Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy". I call my dog "Sеx".
Now, Sеx has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to get his license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sеx. He said, "I'd like to have one too." Then I said, "But this is a dog." He said I didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand, I've had Sеx since I was 9 year old." He said I must have been quite a kid.
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sеx. He said that every room in the place was for sеx. I said, "You don't understand, Sеx keeps me awake at night." The Clerk said, "Me too."
One day I entered Sеx in a contest but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sеx entered in the contest. He told me that I should have sold tickets. "But you don't understand", I said, "I had hoped to have Sеx on television." He called me a show-off.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to file for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sеx before I got married." The judge said, "Me too." Then I told him that after I was married, Sеx had left me. He said, "Me too."
Last night Sеx ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 in the morning?" I said, "I'm looking for Sеx..."
My case comes up on Friday...
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The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
Des Moines, Iowa:
A repentant burglar returned his loot to its owners, along with a note explaining why:
"My priest said I done a wrong."
More than $200, a pair of sunglasses and some golf ваlls were found Monday morning on the steps of Potthoff Foods Incorporated, a meat wholesaler.
"He took my sunglasses, but I didn't know he took them until I got them back this morning," sales representative Phil Barber said. "You know, I don't think something like this happens that often. It's sort of neat. The guy did wrong, but he tried to make it right."
The break-in at Potthoff's happened late Friday or early Saturday. The thief pried open a door and rummaged through some desks.
Potthoff officials said they're not going to depend on the honesty of thieves' nature in the future.
"We are adding an extra security system today," Barber said.
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It's Friday night and President Bill is working late in the White House. Suddenly the big, red telephone on his desk rings.
[President Bill] Hello! Hello![Voice on the line]President Bill! We have a report that Boris Yeltsin just ordered the launch of all Russian missiles in a full-scale nuclear attack against the United States!
[President Bill] Oh no!!!He said he wouldn't do that! That dirтy, rotten jеrк! Bill slams the phone down. He goes the receiver back in the red telephone's cradle. President Bill grabs the briefcase next to his desk, whirls the combination locks, flings open the lid, and jabs in a series of top-secret access codes. A voice comes over the briefcase speaker.
[Voice on the line] Mr. President, is this a drill?
[President Bill] Listen to me. We're being attacked by the Russians. Launch a full-scale response immediately.
[Voice on the line] Are you sure, sir?
[President Bill] Yes!!!Fire the missiles!!!Fire the missiles now!!!
[Voice on the line] OK Sir, we're launching them this minute.
[President Bill] Thank you, son!
The speaker goes silent and President Bill collapses in his chair. Suddenly, an aid flings open the door and bursts into the room.
[Aid] Hey Bill! Neat joke, huh? Sounded real, didn't it? Attacked by the Russians! What a gag! Hey, you want something from the kitchen, Bill? How about a pizza or something? Say Bill, are you OK? You look kind of pale. You OK Bill? Bill???
Friday jokes
The other day I was eating in an Italian restaurant when I accidentally spilled some spaghetti sauce on my favorite white sweater.
I wasn't too distressed, though, because Mr. Wong down on High Street has been doing my laundry for years, and I knew that he could remove just about any stain and get it out like it'd never been there.
So I took the sweater down to Wong's Laundry and dropped it off; Mr. Wong said he'd probably be able to have it cleaned by Thursday. So on Thursday afternoon after work I stopped by Wong's again.
Mr. Wong looked quite distressed when he saw me. He brought out the sweater and, apologizing profusely, explained that somehow this stain was beyond even his power to expunge.
And sure enough, though fainter than before, there was still a distinct red stain on the sweater. In an attempt to make up for his failure, Mr. Wong offered to send the sweater to his brother across town, who had been in the laundry business for an even longer time, and who might have a clue as to the method of removal of this extraordinarily persistent stain.
The elder Wong brother would rush it through at no extra charge, and should have it looking as white and clean as new by Friday. So on Friday I went back to Wong's to pick up my sweater, but when I arrived, Mr. Wong regretfully informed me that his brother, too, had failed to remove the red blotch. "No charge," said Wong, "but you must take sweater elsewhere to clean.
The Moral: ... Two Wongs cannot make a white."
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Taliban TV Guide
MONDAYS:
8:00 - "Husseinfeld"
8:30 - "Mad About Everything"
9:00 - "Suddenly Sanctions"
9:30 - "The Brian Benben Bin Laden Show"
10:00 - "Allah McBeal"
TUESDAYS:
8:00 - "Wheel of Terror and Fortune"
8:30 - "The Price is Right If Osama Says Its Right"
9:00 - "Children Are Forbidden From Saying The Darndest Things"
9:30 - "Afghanistan's Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers"
10:00 - "Buffy The Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer"
WEDNESDAYS:
8:00 - "U.S. Military Secrets Revealed"
8:30 - "Bowling For Food"
9:00 - "Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pita Bread"
9:30 - "Just Shoot Everyone"
10:00 - "Veilwatch"
THURSDAYS:
8:00 - "Matima Loves Chachi"
8:30 - "M*U*S*T*A*S*H"
9:00 - "Veronicas Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses and Veils"
9:30 - "My Two Baghdads"
10:00 - "Diagnosis: Heresy"
FRIDAYS:
8:00 - "Judge Laden"
8:30 - "Funniest Super 8 Home Movies"
9:00 - "Who Wants To Execute A Multimillionaire"
9:30 - "Achmeds Creek"
10:00 - "No-witness News"
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BUYING PAINT FROM A HARDWARE STORECustomer: Hi. How much is your paint?Clerk: We have regular quality for $12 a gallon and premium for $18. How many gallons would you like?Customer: Five gallons of regular quality, please.Clerk: Great. That will be $60 plus tax.
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BUYING PAINT FROM AN AIRLINECustomer: Hi, how much is your paint?Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends.Customer: Depends on what?Clerk: Actually, a lot of things.Customer: How about giving me an average price?Clerk: Wow, that's too hard a question. The lowest price is $9 a gallon, and we have 150 different prices up to $200 a gallon.Customer: What's the difference in the paint?Clerk: Oh, there isn't any difference; it's all the same paint.Customer: Well, then, I'd like some of that $9 paint.Clerk: Well, first I need to ask you a few questions. When do you intend to use it?Customer: I want to paint tomorrow, on my day off.Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is the $200 paint.Customer: What? When would I have to paint in order to get the $9 version?Clerk: That would be in three weeks, but you will also have to agree to start painting before Friday of that week and continue painting until at least Sunday.Customer: You've got to be kidding!Clerk: Sir, we don't kid around here. Of course, I'll have to check to see if we have any of that paint available before I can sell it to you.Customer: What do you mean check to see if you can sell it to me? You have shelves full of that stuff; I can see it right there.Clerk: Just because you can see it doesn't mean that we have it. It may be the same paint, but we sell only a certain number of gallons on any given weekend. Oh, and by the way, the price just went to $12.Customer: You mean the price went up while we were talking!Clerk: Yes, sir. You see, we change prices and rules thousands of times a day, and since you haven't actually walked out of the store with your paint yet, we just decided to change. Unless you want the same thing to happen again, I would suggest that you get on with your purchase. How many gallons do you want?Customer: I don't know exactly. Maybe five gallons. Maybe I should buy six gallons just to make sure I have enough.Clerk: Oh, no, sir, you can't do that. If you buy the paint and then don't use it, you will be liable for penalties and possible confiscation of the paint you already have.Customer: What?Clerk: That's right. We can sell you enough paint to do your kitchen, bathroom, hall and north bedroom, but if you stop painting before you do the bedroom, you will be in violation of our tariffs.Customer: But what does it matter to you whether I use all the paint? I already paid you for it!Clerk: Sir, there's no point in getting upset; that's just the way it is. We make plans based upon the idea that you will use all the paint, and when you don't, it just causes us all sorts of problems.Customer: This is crazy! I suppose something terrible will happen if I don't keep painting until after Saturday night!Clerk: Yes, sir, it will.Customer: Well, that does it! I'm going somewhere else to buy my paint.Clerk: That won't do you any good, sir. We all have the same rules. Thanks for painting with our airline.
Friday jokes
We were in Salino, Utah when we were arrested for not going through a green light. We pleaded "maybe". I asked the judge if he knew what time it is, he did, and I said, "No further questions."
I went to court for a parking ticket. I pleaded insanity. I said, "Your honor, why would anyone in their right mind park in the passing lane?"
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.
Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... When I came back the entire area was missing.
I used to be an airline pilot. I got fired because I kept locking the keys in the plane. They caught me on an 80 foot stepladder with a coat hanger.
One night a jet flew a little bit too close to my house. I was walking from the living room to the kitchen, and the stewardess told me to sit down.
When I go, I'm flying Air Bizarre. It's a good airline. You buy a one way round trip ticket. You leave any Monday, and they bring you back the previous Friday... That way you still have the weekend.
I have a friend named Dennis. Both of his parents were midgets, but he isn't a мidgет. He's a мidgет-dwarf. He's two inches tall. He's the one who poses for trophies.
A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don't have to go. You'll just be walking down the street, and... Ooooohhhhhh, that's much better...
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Contributed by Aaron Ray A balding, white haired gentleman from St. Augustine Beach, walked into a jewelry store in a local mall this past last Friday evening with a beautiful ... much younger gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his new girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and quickly brought out a $5,000 ring. The man said, "Oh No, I'd like to see something more special than that!" At that statement, the jeweler went to his safe for his special stock and brought out another ring. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000" the jeweler said .. as he watched the young lady's eyes sparkle and shine and her whole body begin to trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this .. smiled and said, "Ok, That's the one. We'll take it." When the jeweler inquired as to how payment would be made, the man stated, "I'll just write you a check. But since I know you'll want to make sure my check is good first, I'll write it tonight and you can call the bank Monday morning to verify the funds and then we'll just drop by and pick up the ring sometime on Monday afternoon."
"That will be just fine" said the jeweler "I'll get it polished and packaged especially for you" ...! On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said .. "You #$(@ ##@ sew and sew .... there's only $25 in your checking account."
"Yep, I know," said the old man, "but let me tell you about the unbelievable weekend I just had!!! See... Not All Seniors Are Senile!!!
Ο Λαλαούνης нью-йорк. в самый крутой магазин по продаже изделий из меха заходит... Петък вечер старец и доста млада A white-haired old man walked into a jewelry store on a Friday, with a beautiful young lady at his side. Мужик с потрясной телкой заходят в один из самых дорогих меховых магазинов на Беверли Хиллс. Un hombre entra, acompañado de una preciosa chica, en una tienda super exclusiva. El hombre (dirijiéndose al vendedor) dice: - Por favor, muéstrele a la señorita el más fino abrigo de visón de la tienda. El vendedor regresa con un maravilloso abrigo e imediatamente la joven se lo prueba. ¡Le... Un homme arrive chez Cartier, Place Vendôme à Paris, en compagnie d'une jeune femme splendide, et ensemble, ils choisissent un bijou de 50 000 euros pour elle. Au moment de payer, l'homme sort son... A man walks into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier with a gorgeous blonde on his arm. "Show the lady your finest mink!" the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the shop goes in the back and comes out... An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Fridayevening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for hisgirlfriend. The jeweler... Um sujeito entra numa loja de peles com uma loira espetacular. Ele diz ao vendedor: — Quero que você dê a esta moça a mais linda estola de pele que você tiver nesta loja. O vendedor mostra algumas... Een heer komt binnen bij Cartier, Place Vendome in Parijs. Hij is vergezeld van een beeldmooie vrouw en samen kiezen ze een juweel van 50.000 € voor haar. Op het moment dat er moet betaald... Freitag Abend, 18 h, betritt ein 80 jähriger den Edeljuwelier in Frankfurt… In Begleitung eine 30 jährige blonde Schönheit mit geilem Rahmen… Der Juwelier fragt freundlich nach wie er denn helfen... Een wat oudere man, 65+, loopt een juwelierszaak binnen met aan zijn arm een beauty van een jonge dame. Hij zegt tegen de juwelier dat hij iets speciaals zoekt voor zijn vriendin. De juwelier kijkt... Egy férfi bemegy a barátnőjével egy elegáns boltba. A hölgy kiválaszt egy bundát, felpróbálja. A férfi megkérdezi az eladót: - Mennyibe kerül ez a bunda? - 25000 dollár. - Jó, akkor kiállítok egy...
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Dear Diary, For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress and this is it.
MONDAY: Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess – with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring! Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!
TUESDAY: I drank a whole рот of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!! It's a whole new life for me.
WEDNESDAY: The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the heck would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other сrар too.
THURSDAY: Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late – it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. She sent another skinny trainer to find me. Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine — which I immediately sank.
FRIDAY: I hate Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Sтuрid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little cheerleader!! If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it. Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the sтuрid barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?
SATURDAY: Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.
SUNDAY: I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank the Lord that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my daughter (the little jеrк) will choose a gift for me that is fun — like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!
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A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real life Dilbert-type managers. Here are the finalists:
1. "As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks." (This was the winning quote from Fred Dales at Microsoft Corp. in Redmond, WA.)
2. "What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter." (Lykes Lines Shipping)
3. "E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business." (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)
4. "This project is so important, we can't let things that are more important interfere with it." (Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)
5. "Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule."
6. "No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them." (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)
7. "My Boss spent the entire weekend retyping a 25-page proposal that only needed corrections. She claims the disk I gave her was damaged and she couldn't edit it. The disk I gave her was write-protected." (CIO of Dell Computers)
8. Quote from the Boss:
"Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say." (Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)
9. My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said, "That would be better for me." (Shipping executive, FTD Florists)
10. "We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees." (Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)
11. We recently received a memo from senior management saying:
"This is to inform you that a memo will be issued today regarding the memo mentioned above." (Microsoft, Legal Affairs Division)
12. One day my boss asked me to submit a status report to him concerning a project I was working on. I asked him if tomorrow would be soon enough. He said, "If I wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow to ask for it!" (New business manager, Hallmark Greeting Cards)
13. As director of communications, I was asked to prepare a memo reviewing our company's training programs and materials. In the body of the memo in one of the sentences I mentioned the "pedagogical approach" used by one of the training manuals. The day after I routed the memo to the executive committee, I was called into the HR director's office, and told that the executive vice president wanted me out of the building by lunch. When I asked why, I was told that she wouldn't stand for perverts (pedophiles?) working in her company. Finally, she showed me her copy of the memo, with her demand that I be fired – and the word "pedagogical" circled in red. The HR manager was fairly reasonable, and once he looked the word up in his dictionary and made a copy of the definition to send back to her, he told me not to worry. He would take care of it. Two days later, a memo to the entire staff came out directing us that no words, which could not be found in the local Sunday newspaper could be used in company memos. A month later, I resigned, and in accordance with company policy, I created my resignation memo by pasting words together from the Sunday paper. (Taco Веll Corporation)
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Friday jokes
In the pre-Thanksgiving rush, we have received an early weather report from our in-house weather reporters. This is one you should be sure to email to your Mom. Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an afternoon high near 190F. The kitchen will turn hot and humid, and if you bother the cook, be ready for a severe squall or cold shoulder. During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a knife will slice through the turkey, causing an accumulation of one to two inches on plates. Mashed potatoes will drift across one side, while cranberry sauce creates slippery spots on the other. Please pass the gravy. A weight watch and indigestion warning have been issued for the entire area, with increased stuffiness around the beltway. During the evening, the turkey will diminish and taper off to leftovers, dropping to a low of 34F in the refrigerator. Looking ahead to Friday and Saturday, high pressure to eat sandwiches will be established. Flurries of leftovers can be expected both days with a 50 percent chance of scattered soup late in the day. We expect a warming trend where soup develops. By early next week, eating pressure will be low as the only wish left will be the воnе.
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