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Kids Jokes

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Teacher asks the student: “Why are you so late?!”
Student: “Well I was crossing the road and suddenly it says: 'School ahead, go slowly'!”
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Pepito le pregunta a su maestra: Maestra, ¿Me castigaría usted por algo que yo no hice? No Pepito, ¡Por supuesto que no! Que bueno porque no hice la tarea. Pepito, ¿Por qué tan tarde? Por el rótulo... - Jaimito, ¿Por qué llegas tan tarde? - Por el rotulo en la calle. -¿ Cuál rotulo? - El que dice: "Escuela adelante, vaya despacio".
Kids Jokes School Jokes
Teacher to Paul: “Wake up, Paul! You can’t sleep in class!”
Paul to teacher: “I could actually, it’s just that you’re a bit loud.”
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Kids Jokes School Jokes
Dad on the last day of school: So, where’s your school report, my boy?
Tom: Sorry, I’ll bring it a day later.
Dad: Why?
Tom: I borrowed it to Kevin because he wanted to scare his parents.
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Баща пита сина си: - вовочка, где твой школьный дневник? - его колька взял. родителей... - Иванчо, къде ти е бележника? Kommt Fritzchen am letzten Schultag nach Hause. Fragt der Vater: Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card." "Warum hast du kein Zeugnis?" Joãozinho chega em casa e diz ao seu pai: — Pai, hoje recebi o meu boletim. — Então cade ele? — disse o pai. — Emprestei! — Mas por quê? — Porque meu amigo queria assustar o pai dele. Johnny's father: "Let me see your report card." Johnny: "I don't have it." Johnny's father: "Why not?" Johnny: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents." Assim que Joãozinho chega da escola, o pai o interpela: — Quero ver o seu boletim! — Infelizmente não vai dar! — Como não vai dar? — É que eu emprestei para um amigo... ele queria dar um susto no pai dele! - Gdzie masz świadectwo? - pyta ojciec Jasia. - Pożyczyłem koledze, bo chciał nastraszyć swojego ojca. Mutter: "Wo ist dein Zeugnis?" Fritzchen: "Das hab ich einem Freund geborgt. Der will damit seinen Vater erschrecken." Dad: "Can I see your report card, son?" Son: "I don't have it." Dad: "Why?" Son: "I gave it to my friend. He wanted to scare his parents." Mamma til Per: - Hvor er karakterboka di? - Ole låner den. - Hvorfor det? - For å skremme foreldrene sine. Le père de David s'étonne de ne pas avoir encore reçu le bulletin scolaire de son fils et lui en demande la raison : - Et ton bulletin il est pas encore arrivé? - Si, si mais je l'ai prêté a Paul...
Kids Jokes School Jokes
Grandma asks little Fiona, “Did you have a nice play outside?”
Fiona smiles, “Yeah, I was playing pretend and I was a lovely bird!”
“Oh that’s beautiful. Did you sing nicely?” says Grandma.
Fiona explains, “No, I was eating worms!”
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Бабата пита малката Мария: Mama pyta Jasia: - Co dziś robiłeś na podwórku? - Udawałem ptaka. - A co robiłeś - śpiewałeś czy ćwierkałeś? - Jadłem robaki. Jussi tuli juosten kotiin ja kertoi äidilleen: Äiti, äiti, pikkuveli matkii lintua. Ihanko totta? Viserteleekö hän? Ei, ei, hän syö matoja.
Kids Jokes
Why don’t snails fаrт?
Because their houses don’t have any windows.
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Kids Jokes
A man arrived in a small country town on Friday. He stayed there for three days and then left on Friday. How is that possible?
His horse was called Friday!
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Kids Jokes
What did the blanket say to the bed?
No fears, I've got you covered!
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Kids Jokes Food Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Life Jokes
Mother is waking her son: “Paulie, come, wake up, you have to go to school.”
“Aw mom, just a bit more sleep, please.”
“No, it’s really high time, now get up.”
“But I don’t want to. The children annoy me and the teachers are a complete pain!”
“Stop it, now. Get up and off to school with you!”
“Mom, give me two good reasons why I should go to the sтuрid school.”
“Paulie, first of all, you’re 45, and second, you’re the headmaster.”
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Една обикновена сутрин: Сине стани!!! Late for School Σχολείο Το σχολείο мама будит вовочку: - вовочка, вставай, пора в школу! - да ну ее!... - Ставай за училище! "Ich will nicht in die Schule! " De manhã, a mãe bate na porta do quarto do filho: A mom calls out to her son "Harry! Wake up! You'll be late for school." Early one morning a mother went to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!" "Buy why, Mom? I don't want to go." "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go." "Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!" "Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on... Streitgespräch am Morgen: "Ich geh nicht in die Schule!" "Doch, du gehst!" "Nein: Die Schüler ärgern mich, die Lehrer verachten mich und der Hausmeister nimmt mich nicht ernst!" "Jetzt reiß dich zusammen! Du bist schließlich der Direktor!" Mutter möchte den Sohn wecken: "Du Paulchen, stehe auf, du musst zur Schule." Paulchen: "Bitte Mama, lass mich noch ein bisschen Schlafen." Die Mutter: "Nein, es ist wirklich schon Zeit, stehe... Hallo meine lieben Witzeschreiber und Witzeleser, ich habe wie jeden Sonntag einen neuen Witz im Gepäck. Hir ist der Witz: Die Mutter weckt am Morgen ihren Sohn. Spricht die Mutter: „Paulchen, du... - Jeg vil ikke på skolen i dag, mor! - Ta deg sammen, Knut. Husk at du er 54 år og rektor på skolen. Reggel van. Az anya kelti a fiát. - Fiam, kelj fel, iskolába kell menned! - Nem akarok! - Mondj 2 nyomós érvet, hogy miért nem! - 1. Az összes gyerek utál, 2. Az összes tanár utál! - Ez nem nyomós... Un día le dice un hijo a su mamá..... Mamá no quiero ir a la escuela, y su mamá le dice .... Hijo tienes que ir por 2 cosas 1 porque tienes 40 años y 2 porque eres el director Reggel az anya ébreszti a gyerekét: - Kelj fel, fiam, az iskolába kell menned! - De mama, miért kell mennem? Utálok oda járni! - Mondj két okot, miért ne kellene menned? - Először is: az összes... De Manhã, o Pai Bate na porta do quarto do Filho. — Acorda Meu Filho. Acorda, pq esta na hora de vc ir para o Colégio. Lá de dentro, estremunhado, o Filho Respondeu: — Pai,eu hoje ñ vou ao Colégio....
Kids Jokes School Jokes
Two ants want to fight an elephant.
The elephant looks at them: “Two on one? That’s not fair!”
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Kids Jokes
What weighs more, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers?
A: Neither of them, they both weigh a ton!
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Kids Jokes
A prisoner is finally released, after many years in jail. He stands on the pavement, yelling, "I'm free! I'm free!"
A little kid walks up to him happily and joins, “I’m four! I’m four!"
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Kids Jokes
A child comes home dripping wet.
Mother: What on earth were you doing?!

Kid: We were playing dog with my friends.
I was the tree.
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Kids Jokes Dog jokes
Why was 6 scared of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
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Kids Jokes One-Liner Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Math Jokes
What’s the difference between spinach and boogers?
Kids don’t eat spinach.
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Dark Humor Jokes Gross Jokes Sports Jokes Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Kids Jokes Food Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Hitler Jokes Prison Jokes What's The Difference Jokes
What is sticky and brown? A stick!
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One-Liner Jokes Kids Jokes
- Mom! I’m a 3d printer!
- Oh come on, Tommy, close the door when you роор.
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One-Liner Jokes Gross Jokes Technology Jokes Kids Jokes
Son comes home and yells: “Moooooooom!!!!”
Mother shouts from the first floor:
“If you want something, come up and tell me properly. I’m sick of your hollering.”
Son goes up and says: “Look, I stepped in dog роор.”
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Майка гледа поредната серия от турски филм. Малкият ѝ син крещи от входната врата: Sohn kommt Nachhause und schreit: "Mamaaaaa!!!" Mutter: "Jetzt schrei nicht so. Komm schnell hoch, wenn du was willst." Sohn stampft hoch in den ersten Stock des Hauses. Mutter: "Ja, was willst...
Kids Jokes Dog jokes
"Mom, where do tampons go?"
"Where the babies come from, darling."
"In the stork?"
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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Stupid Jokes
Joke for mothers:
When your first child eats some earth, a bit of grass or a worm, you take it to a doctor.
When your second child eats some earth, a bit of grass or a worm, you spit on a hankie and clean it.
When your third child eats some earth, a bit of grass or a worm, you wonder whether it still needs lunch.
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Kids Jokes
I hope the children will never find out why I say ‘oooops…. ” so often when I vacuum their rooms.
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Gross Jokes Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Masturbation jokes
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