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Life Jokes

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Mexicans cross the border 1...2... And 4 at one time, never 3. why?
Because the sign says - no tres passing.
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Life Jokes Mexican jokes
Where are you going for vacation this year?
I checked my budget and decided that I didn't get tired.
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Life Jokes
"What is love, at last?" asks the dentist.
And the cardiologist:
"Love is a toothache.. but inside the heart!"
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Life Jokes Love Jokes Dentist Jokes
How many French men does it take to defend the city of Paris?
Don't know... Its never been done.
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Men jokes Life Jokes
A man was fishing in the jungle.
After a while another angler came to join him.
"Have you had any bites?" asked the second man.
"Yes, lots," replied the first one, "but they were all mosquitoes."
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Men jokes Life Jokes
If I had my whole life to live over again, I don’t think I’d have the strength.
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Life Jokes
Why don’t all the managers go into holiday at once?
So people can’t see that the company works without them..
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Office and Work Jokes Life Jokes Boss Jokes
My "it's cold outside" post just went viral on Facebook.
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Facebook Jokes Life Jokes
Why are we so sure that Eve was African?
If she were white, she wouldn't have eaten that apple!
She would say, "Is this organic? What would Oprah do?"
If she had been Asian, she'd have eaten the dамn snake!
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Life Jokes
Evolution: True science fiction.
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Science jokes Life Jokes
Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it?
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Office and Work Jokes Life Jokes
Customer: Give me a hot dog.
Waiter: With pleasure.
Customer: No, with mustard.
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Life Jokes
I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.
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Life Jokes
What is height of Fashion?
Dhoti with a zip.
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Life Jokes
A man goes skydiving.
After a fantastic free fall he pulls the rip cord to open his parachute but nothing happens.
He tries everything but can't get it open.
Just then another man flies by him, going UP.
The skydiver yells, "Hey, you know anything about parachutes?
The man replies, "No, you know anything about gas stoves?
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Men jokes Life Jokes
A spaceman landed on the moon.
To his surprise he saw ahead of him a little shop, with the name above it:
"MORRIE COHEN, BESPOKE TAILORS."
Curious, he went into the shop.
A surprised looking man appeared behind the counter. "Who are you?" he asked.
"I’m a spaceman," replied the spaceman.
The man closed his eyes, and slapped his own cheek with one hand.
"Cutters, I asked for. And they send me spacemen!"
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Men jokes Life Jokes
Cessna pilot:
"Tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel.
Tower:
"Roger Cessna 12345, reduce airspeed to best glide!
Do you have the airfield in sight?"
Cessna:
"Uh...tower, I am on the south ramp; I just want to know where the fuel truck is."
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Life Jokes Aviation Jokes Pilot Jokes Student jokes School Jokes
Two muffins are sitting in an oven and one says to the other:
"Man, it's hot in here!"
The other one says:
"Ah! A talking muffin!"
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- Две кексчета си стояли във фурната и се пекли. 2 банички се пекат във фурната и едната казала на другата: Две кексчета се печат и едното казва: Sind zwei Muffins in einem Ofen. Sagt der eine: "Himmel nochmal, ist mir heiß!" Darauf der andere: "Waaah! Ein sprechender Muffin!" Treffen sich zwei Muffins im Ofen sagt der eine: Ahhh, ich verbrenne!!! Sagt der andere: Hilfe ein sprechender Muffin!!! Det var två muffins i en ugn och då sa den ena - Oj vad varmt det är och då säger den andra - Holy shit, en talande muffin. Det var to muffinser inne i en stekovn. Den ene sier: – ÅÅåå så varmt det er. Den andre sier: – Næ, se! En snakkende muffins! Der sad 2 muffins i en ovn. - Den ene muffin sagde “Nej hvor er der varmt herinde.” - Så råbte den anden “Ahhhh en talende muffin.” Det var en gång två muffins i en ugn. Den första muffinsen sa: - Ojj, Vad hett det är här inne. Den andra muffinsen sa: - Hjääälp, en talande muffins!!! Två muffins sitter i ugnen. Den ena frågar den andra: - Tycker du det börjar bli varmt här inne? Den andra svarar: - Aaargh, en talande muffins... Två muffinsar ligger i en ung. Den ena utbrister: - Fasen va varmt det är här! Den andra förvånat: - Oh!Oj! En talande muffins! Estaban dos muffins en el horno y uno le dice al otro:uff! que calor y el otro responde:Ah! ¡un muffin que habla! Sind zwei Muffins im Backofen. Der Erste: Mensch ist das heiß hier drin. Der Zweite: Ahhh Hilfe ein sprechender Muffin! There are two muffins in an oven. The muffin on the left turns to the other and says, "Man, it's getting hot in here." The one on the right then says, "Holy sh*t, a talking muffin!" There were two muffins sitting in an oven. The first muffin looked at the second muffin and said, "Man, it's getting hot in here!" Then the second muffin looked at the first muffin. "Oh my God! A... One day there were two muffins in an oven, one of the muffins said, “man its hot in here.” The other one said “Oh my god! A talking muffin!!!” Dois bolinhos estavam no forno. Um bolinho chegou e disse: — Ai!Tá quente aqui! O outro bolinho disse: — HAHAHA!Um bolinho falante! Twee muffins zitten in de oven. Zegt de ene muffin tegen de andere: "Hee, zullen we ontsnappen" Zegt de andere muffin: "Aaaa een praatende muffin" Lololololol Két muffin van a sütőben az egyik megszólal: - ÁÁÁ Égek!!! Erre a másik: - ÁÁÁ ez beszél!!!
Men jokes Life Jokes Food Jokes Communication Jokes
Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence–a life sentence.
Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.
Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.
Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.
Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings":
* The Engagement Ring
* The Wedding Ring
* The Suffe-Ring
* The Endu-Ring
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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Life Jokes Wedding jokes Love Jokes
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