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Life Jokes

Most popular in this category
Who hangs out with musicians but isn't a musician?
Drummers.
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Life Jokes Music and Musician Jokes
What has a head, a tail, and no body?
A coin!
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Life Jokes
I went down the local supermarket, I said,
"I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it", he said,
"Those are pickled onions'
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Life Jokes
Only in America ... do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
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USA Jokes Life Jokes Banker Jokes
‘I’ve found the secret of eternal youth.
I lie about my age.’
Bob Hope How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb?
One.
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Life Jokes
I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.
I said,
"Are you two an item?"
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Jokes about Women Men jokes Life Jokes
A young accountant spends a week at his new office with the retiring accountant he is replacing.
Each and every morning as the more experienced accountant begins the day, he opens his desk drawer, takes out a worn envelope, removes a yellowing sheet of paper, reads it, nods his head, looks around the room with renewed vigor, returns the envelope to the drawer, and then begins his day’s work.
After he retires, the new accountant can hardly wait to read for himself the message contained in the envelope in the drawer, particularly since he feels so inadequate in replacing the far wiser and more highly esteemed accountant.
Surely, he thinks to himself, it must contain the great secret to his success, a wondrous treasure of inspiration and motivation.
His fingers tremble anxiously as he removes the mysterious envelope from the drawer and reads the following message:
"Debits in the column toward the file cabinet. Credits in the column toward the window. Prefer Wraps and females who think realistically pick Wholemeal.”
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Office and Work Jokes Life Jokes
Another one was: Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'.
He said:
'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.
'It's not unusual' he replied.
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Life Jokes
Are you free on Sunday?
The director asks his secretary.
Yes, sir.
Then, please, use this day to rest a bit, so you won’t be late at work on Monday.
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Office and Work Jokes Life Jokes Secretary Jokes
Life is an open door.
It can be closed at any time, so don’t complain about the draught.
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Life Jokes
Wouldn't exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?
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One-Liner Jokes Life Jokes
My room + internet connection + music + food - homework = perfect day.
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Food Jokes Internet Jokes Life Jokes
The fastest dialog in the world:
(WC door is opening)
Man inside: Heyyy!
Man outside: Sorryyy!
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Men jokes Life Jokes
Life’s a вiтсh, and then you’re reincarnated.
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Life Jokes
You WILL be a winner today.
Pick a fight with a four-year-old.
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Life Jokes
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U. S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named ‘Bush', ‘Diск', and ‘Colon'. Need I say more?
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Men jokes USA Jokes Military Jokes Life Jokes American Presidents Humor
Why can't cinderella get in the basketball team?
Because she keeps running away from the ball.
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Life Jokes
What has four legs but can't walk?
A chair.
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Life Jokes
There’s one good thing about life.
It’s only temporary.
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Life Jokes
Yo mama so sтuрid that when I was drowning I yelled out to her that I needed a life saver and she said "Cherry or grape?"
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Yo Momma Jokes Life Jokes Stupid Jokes
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