Men vs Women Jokes

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An old lady approaches a police station and observes three women in hand cuffs waiting to go in.
The old lady asks one of the women, "Why are you in line?"
The woman looks at the other prostitutes, winks and says, "We're waiting in line for a free lollipop."
So the old lady gets in line for her free lollipop. The chief of police comes out to take the girls in and notices the old lady in line. Shocked, he says to the old lady, "'You should be ashamed of yourself!"
"Let me tell you something, sonny," the old lady replies, "as long as they keep making them, I will keep suскing them!"

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Men vs Women Jokes Boss Jokes

Why do men walk so fast? They've got three legs!
Why do women talk so much? They've got two mouths!

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Men vs Women Jokes

Q: How do сrавs leave the hospital?
A: On crutches.

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Men vs Women Jokes Gross Jokes

One day little Johnny was walking up a hill pulling his red wagon behind him saying, "F**k this, F**k that."
The town priest hears this and walks up to Johnny and says, You shouldn't swear like that, Johnny. God is all around us."
"Is he in the sky?" asks Johnny.
"Yes," says the priest.
"Is he in that bush over there?" asks Johnny.
"Yes," says the priest."
Is he in my wagon?" asked Johnny.
"Yes," says the priest.
"Well tell him to get the f**k out and push!!!"

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Men vs Women Jokes Little Johnny Jokes God Jokes Dirty jokes Priest Jokes Priest Jokes American Presidents Humor

Little Johnny's father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees.
"I don't want to know!" Little Johnny says, bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asks what's wrong.
"Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you're about to tell me that grownups don't really have sеx, I've got nothing left to believe in."

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Men vs Women Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Christmas Jokes Dad Jokes Easter Jokes

Little Johnny asks his mother her age.
She replies, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question."
Johnny then asks his mother how much she weighs.
Again his mother replies, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question."
The boy then asks, "Why did Daddy leave you?"
To this, the mother says, "You shouldn't ask that," and sends him to his room.
On the way, Johnny trips over his mother's purse. When he picks it up, her driver's license falls out.
Johnny runs back into the room. "I know all about you now. You are 36 years old, weigh 127 pounds and Daddy left you because you got an 'F' in sеx!"

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Men vs Women Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Sex Jokes

Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Beauty Jokes Communication Jokes

Man to wife: "Boy, you are getting old, look at all the wrinkles you are getting!"
Wife: ''They aren't wrinkles, they're laugh lines!''
Man: ''Nothing is that freakin' funny!!'''

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Men vs Women Jokes

With his hand in the сrаск of his madam.
It filled him with mirth
'Cause on this whole earth,
There were only two ваlls and he had 'em.

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Men vs Women Jokes

How many Californians does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
Californians don't sсrеw in light bulbs they sсrеw in hot tubs.

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One hundred - one to hold the lightbulb, the other 99 to rotate the house.

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes

Little Johnny has to write a story about someone in his family who does something amazing. The next day, he returns and tells the class that his father eats lightbulbs.
"How do you know that?" asks his teacher.
"I heard him say it. He and Mom were in the bedroom and he said, 'I'll only eat that thing if you turn out the light.'"

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Men vs Women Jokes School Jokes

Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 20. One to change the bulb and 19 to make a documentary about it.

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Men vs Women Jokes Customer service jokes Light bulb jokes

Q: How many flies does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
A: Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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Men vs Women Jokes Light bulb jokes

What do LifeSavers do that men can't?
Come in 5 flavors!

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Men vs Women Jokes Gross Jokes Men jokes Life Jokes

A mid 20's bachelor walks into a grocery store to pick up the necessities (a case of вееr, toilet paper, a tv guide and some frozen dinners).
He goes to the checkout and the young lady cashier looks at him and says, ''Wow, you must be single''. The man smiles and says ''You can tell I'm single just from the stuff that I'm buying?" "No," remarked the lady, "you're fuскing ugly."

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Men vs Women Jokes Ugly Jokes Single People Jokes Beer Jokes

Why was the blonde mad when she got her drivers license back?
She had an "F" under "Sеx."

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes

Q: What does a woman need to become a lеsвiаn?
A: A liquor license.

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Men vs Women Jokes

A blonde walks into a library and asks the librarian, "Can I have a burger and fries?"
She replies, "Sorry, this is a library."
The blonde whispers, "Oh, sorry. May I have a burger and fries?"

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Men vs Women Jokes Food Jokes Blonde Jokes

Q: Where do lеsвiаns find hard wood during sеx?
A: On the floor, beneath the carpet.

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Men vs Women Jokes