One-Liner Jokes

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What plants like Halloween the most? Bam-BOO!
What do birds say on Halloween? Twick or tweet
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire? A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
What would you find on a haunted beach? A sand-witch!
Why didn’t the skeleton like the Halloween candy? He didn’t have the stomach for it!
What’s worse than being a five-ton witch on Halloween? Being her broom!
Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators? It raises their spirits.
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi.
What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher? Lots of blood tests!
Why are vampires so easy to fool? Because they’re suckers.
What did the ghost say when the skeleton lied to him? I can see right through you.

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Halloween Jokes One-Liner Jokes School Jokes Vampire jokes

MONDAY: - Everybody hates me!

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One-Liner Jokes Monday jokes

I don’t work on monday’s, i make appearances

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One-Liner Jokes Monday jokes

Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

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Marriage and Family Jokes One-Liner Jokes Love Jokes

Man is incomplete until he’s married.
Then he’s finished.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes One-Liner Jokes

"You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background," sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand.
"If I wasn't under oath, I'd return the compliment," replied the witness.

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Judge and Court Jokes Men jokes One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes

"What am I supposed to do with this?" grumbled a motorist as the policeman handed him a speeding ticket.
"Keep it," the cop said, "when you collect four of them you get a bicycle."

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Police Officer Jokes Office and Work Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!"
The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes One-Liner Jokes

My friend's dad is a dentist.
This is his pumpkin for Halloween.

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One-Liner Jokes Halloween Jokes Dentist Jokes

I love you.
Is it you or the вееr talking?
It’s me. Talking to my вееr.

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Drinking and Drunk Jokes One-Liner Jokes Beer Jokes

Nurse: Doctor, there is a man in the waiting room with a glass eye named Brown.
Doctor: What does he call his other eye?

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Medical and Doctor Jokes One-Liner Jokes Nurse jokes

Dear Monday:
I want to break up.
I am seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sorry.
It’s not me — it’s you

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One-Liner Jokes Monday jokes Friday jokes

Patient: Nurse, I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes.
Nurse: Have you seen a doctor?
Patient: No, just spots.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes One-Liner Jokes Nurse jokes

Doctor: You have a disease, but we can treat it.
Patient: What’s the Cure?
Doctor: It’s an 80s rock band fronted by Robert Smith, but let’s try to stay focused...

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Medical and Doctor Jokes One-Liner Jokes Music and Musician Jokes

A boxer went to a doctor for treatment of insomnia.
"Have you tried counting sheep?" suggested the doctor.
"It doesn't work," replied the boxer. "Whenever I get to nine, I stand up!"

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Sports Jokes Office and Work Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A young woman gazed up from her hospital bed at the very handsome doctor who was examining her chart. She fluttered her eyelids and said, "They tell me that you are a real lady killer."
The doctor smiled and shook his head. "No, I make no distinction between the sexes."

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Sex Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes One-Liner Jokes

The famous sеx therapist was on the radio taking questions when acaller asked, "Doctor, I want to know why men always want to marry a virgin?"
To which the doctor handily responded, "To avoid criticism."

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Sex Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes One-Liner Jokes

Fact of Life: After Monday & Tuesday Even the Calendar says W T F

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One-Liner Jokes Monday jokes

Pickpocket (visiting friend in jail): "I hired a lawyer for you this morning, Slim, but I had to hand him my Rolex as a retainer."
Slim: "Did he keep it?"
Pickpocket: "He thinks he did."

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Judge and Court Jokes One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes

Dear Santa, For this year I'm requesting a BIG bank account and a SMALL body.
P.S. Please don't mix them up like you did last year.

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Christmas Jokes One-Liner Jokes Banker Jokes