Sick and Death Jokes

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The saying "Кill two birds with one stone" actually came from when chuck Norris downed two Peregrin Falcons with one roundhouse kick.

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Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

The last thing that you see before you die, is Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Bob checked into his hotel room and immediately noticed a dead cockroach on the floor.
He called the front desk, asked for the manager and raised a fuss.
"Sir, please calm down," the manager replied.
"It's dead. It can't bother you now."
"The dead one doesn't bother me." Bob said.
"It's his pallbearers."

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Animal Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Hotel Jokes

Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra ....
After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra
Eventually died

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Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

So this rетаrdеd blind couple just lives in Guantanamo Bay.
The prison warden told us soon these little fishies would grow gills.
So we have been feeding our fishies since 911 they all been fed really well.
In our daily water events until I told my wife, "there is a problem these fish haven't grown any gills."
So we told the Warden and he laughed he said:
"You know what you've been doing since 911 the blind couple relied on what!"
The warden replied, "well you've been waterboarding convicted isis terrorists!"
The blind couple said,
"What happens to the fishes?"
The warden replied, "well they are dead of course!"

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Animal Jokes Terrorist jokes Prison Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!

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Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Did you hear about the two dumb blonds who went two the drive in theater and froze two death they went two see closed for the winter?

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Car and driving jokes Blonde Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Stupid Jokes

One day President Trump's motorcade was heading to the Mexican border to see first hand progress on The Wall.
All of a sudden a nакеd lone figure was seen веnт over on the side of the road.
Wanting to help the president ordered the motorcade to stop.
He got out and approached the figure and suddenly realized it was Nancy Pelosi.
She was nакеd with her wrists handcuffed to her ankles.
The president said,
"ОМG Nancy what happened?"
She cried out that she was kidnapped by a bunch of people wearing MAGA hats and left to die!
The president said "Well I'm not going to let that happen" as he was unzipping his zipper.
He yelled out to the motorcade "OK boys the line starts behind me"

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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Dirty jokes Mexican jokes Political Jokes Sick and Death Jokes American Presidents Humor

How do children in Baghdad do?
Bombastically.

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Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Military Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Batman is to Robin as Chuck Norris is to Death.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Superhero Jokes

Jesus won't come back again.
Why?
Because he know you will кill him and see if he will wake up again.

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Christian Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Easter Jokes

What's the difference between a bullet and a Jew?
A bullet actually comes out of its chamber.

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Jewish Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

What's the difference between my phone and Stephen Hawking?
When my phone dies, I actually give a fuск.

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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Phone jokes

Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.

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Sports Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Morbid jokes

What do Darren Millane (Collingwood footballer killed in a recent car crash) and a blonde have in common?
Put either of 'em in a car and they're fuскеd.

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Car and driving jokes Blonde Jokes Soccer Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Where did OP go in the explosion?
Everywhere.

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Dark Humor Jokes Terrorist jokes Sick and Death Jokes

When Chuck Norris was a kid, he wanted to see if you really could кill two birds with a stone.
Let's just say that's why birds fly still south in the winter.

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Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

When Light wrote Chuck Norris' name in the Death Note, the book died.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Why are black people so afraid of ghosts?
Because they are haunted by dead ккк members!

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Black People Jokes