Sports Jokes - Page 18

A boss took one of his employees to show his new sports car.
"That is amazing" the employee was fascinated.
"That is true" replied boss "and if you set your new goals higher and work even harder I can get an even better car next year".

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A golfer tried three straight times to hit a golf ball over the inlet of water between him and the green.
But each time the ball splashes into the drink.
In utter frustration the golfer said, "Caddie, take my clubs on in, I'm going to jump into the water and drown myself."
The caddie replied, "I doubt that, sir. You couldn't keep your head down long enough to drown!"

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Sports Jokes

There are these two guys named John and Cliff.
They were best friends and were so obsessed with baseball that they would go to 60 games a year and analyze every scoreboard.
They even promised each other that when one of them goes to heaven, the deceased one would come back and tell the other whether there was baseball in heaven or not.
One night Cliff dies in his sleep after watching a Chicago White Sox game — Chicago won, so at least he died a happy man.
The next day Cliff returns to earth to see his friend.
"Hi, John.”"
"Cliff, is it really you?"
"Hey, I told you I’d be back to tell you what’s up. And, you know John, there’s good news and bad news."
"Okay. What’s the good news?"
"There is baseball in heaven."
"The bad news?"
"You’re pitching tomorrow night."

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Friendship Jokes Sports Jokes News and Politics Jokes Men jokes

One recent Sunday, a young boy arrived to his Sunday school class late.
His teacher knew that the boy was usually very prompt and asked him if anything was wrong.
The boy replied no, that he was going to go fishing, but that his dad told him that he needed to go to church instead.
The teacher was very impressed and asked the boy if his father had explained to him why it was more important to go to church rather than to go fishing.
To which the boy replied, "Yes, ma'am, he did.
My dad said that he didn't have enough bait for both of us."

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Church jokes Sports Jokes School Jokes Animal Jokes Dad Jokes

Q: What do gаy guys have in common with bungee jumpers?
A: If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shiт!

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Gay and Lesbian Jokes Sports Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

After a long day of winter sporting, we headed back to the ski lodge.
As it was small, a cramped place to stay, we decided it was most fitting to sleep in the same bed.
Myself in the middle and my two friends either side of me.
In the middle of the night, the guy on the right woke up and said, "I have had a dream where I was given the best hаndjов ever!"
A few minutes later, the guy on my left woke up and said: "I have had a dream that I was given the best hаndjов ever!"
I replied, "well that's funny... I thought I was skiing."

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Friendship Jokes Sports Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

Q: What's the worst thing about being lonely?
A: Playing Frisbee.

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Sports Jokes Single People Jokes

What's yellow and can't swim? A bus full of children.

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Dark Humor Jokes Sports Jokes Kids Jokes Anti-Humor Jokes

What does tightrope walking and getting a вlоwjов from Grandma have in common?
You don't look down.

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Dirty jokes Sports Jokes Old People Jokes

Q: What's the difference between hockey player and hippie girl?
A: Hockey player will take shower after 3 periods.

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Sports Jokes Gross Jokes

Раddy asks Murphy, 'Why do scuba divers fall off their boats backwards?"
Murphy replies, "If they fell forwards they'd still be on the fuскing boat!"

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Sailor Jokes Sports Jokes

Q: What game does the brontosaurus like to play with humans?
A: Squash.

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Sports Jokes Dinosaur jokes

Aladdin has been banned from the magic carpet race.
Apparently he's been using performance enhancing rugs...

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Sports Jokes

My wife said, "I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with Tennis!"
I replied, "That's 15 love!"

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Sports Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes

A man went to doctor, "Doctor every night in my dream I am playing soccer."
Doctor say, "Take these pills, they will help you sleep better."
The man, "I can't take them, tonight is the final game."

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Soccer Jokes Sports Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes

A woman is learning how to golf. She has been teaching herself to play for more than three months and she is really bad.
She decides to consult a golf pro.
When she sees the golf pro, she explains how bad she is and he tells her to go ahead and hit the ball.
She does.
The ball goes about 50 yards into the brush slicing to the right.
The golf pro says to the woman, "I can see that you have a lot of problems. Your stance is bad, your head is all over the place, and the worst thing is that grip."
When she asks what can be done to fix the situation, he suggests, "Grab the club gently, as if you were grabbing your husband's "club".
When the feeling is right, go ahead and swing.
"She does just that and the ball goes off the tee perfectly straight for about 275 yards."
The golf pro says to the woman, "That is unbelievable, I didn't think you would do that well. But now on to your next problem. How are we going to get that golf club out of your mouth?"

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Jokes about Women Sports Jokes

The racehorse owner was annoyed with the running of his horse at the race.
He turned on the jockey.
"Flaherty, could you not have raced faster?"
"Sure I could have, but you know we are supposed to stay on the horse."

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Sports Jokes Animal Jokes

Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy: "I don't think you can keep your head down that long."

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Sports Jokes Golf jokes

John asks his wife, Mary, what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary.
“Would you like a new Mink Coat?” he asks.
“Not really,” says Mary.
“Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?” says John.
“No,” she responds.
“What about a new vacation home in the country?” he suggests.
She again rejects his offer with a, “No thanks.”
Frustrated he finally asks, “Well what would you like for your anniversary?”
“John, I’d like a divorce,” answers Mary.
John thinks for a moment and replies “Sorry dear, I wasn’t planning to spend that much.”

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Car and driving jokes Sports Jokes Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Wedding jokes Divorce Jokes

One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole and a loud voice said, "There are no fish down there."
He walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered into the hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there."
He then walked about 50 yards away and drilled another hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there."
He looked up into the sky and asked, "God, is that you?"
"No, you idiот," the voice said, "it's the rink manager."

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Fishing Jokes Sports Jokes God Jokes Boss Jokes