Car and driving jokes

At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.

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Why did the spider buy a car?
So he could take it out for a spin!

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Car and driving jokes Animal Jokes

Q. What's a blonde's idea of safe sеx?
A. Locking the car door.

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Blonde Jokes Sex Jokes Car and driving jokes

New Teslas don’t come with a new car smell they come with an Elon Musk

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Car and driving jokes Elon Musk and Tesla Jokes

Q. Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?
A. Because she blows the horn!

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Car and driving jokes Blonde Jokes

What do you call a school bus full of black people?
A rotten banana.

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Why is it that a white man is hanging on to a car driving 200 km per hour?
Because a black man is driving it!

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Did you hear about the two dumb blonds who went two the drive in theater and froze two death they went two see closed for the winter?

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I walked out of the store and saw a car full of black people lock their car doors i felt pretty badass until i realized it was my car.

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Car and driving jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Black People Jokes

A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, "I locked my keys in my car.
Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?"
"Why sure," said the manager, "We have something that works especially well for that."
A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing and he heard another voice.
"No, no! A little to the left," said the other blonde inside the car.

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Office and Work Jokes Car and driving jokes Blonde Jokes Boss Jokes

What do you call four niggеrs, in a car, driving off a cliff?
A waste.
You could've fit two more in the trunk.

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Car and driving jokes Black People Jokes

There were two prostitutes , one was very beautiful and the other was ugly. The beautiful рrоsтiтuте used to make around $1,000-$3,000 a month but the ugly one made around $10,000-$13,000. Confused to why the fuск the ugly one made more money than her, the beautiful рrоsтiтuте went to the ugly one and asked her.
" Hey girl ! How are you? Looks like you're doing great ,you bought a new car and an apartment, where did you get the money ?".
On this the ugly вiтсh replied.
" Actually I play games with my customer and so I earn a lot, maybe more than you . What I do with my customer is that when we have inтеrсоursе I put a small firecracker in my рussy and when it blows up , I start shouting oh you blew up my рussy you ваsтаrd, scared that this may put them in trouble my customers end up paying me $500-$800 to get away".
Hearing this, the beautiful blonde рrоsтiтuте went to the shop to buy some firecrackers, but as the less power crackers were not available that day she bought a huge powerful firecracker and went to work. While having inтеrсоursе she put the big bomb in her рussy and it went off with a huge ваng. Then the рrоsтiтuте started shouting as planned:
" You blew up my рussy ... You blew up my рussy".
On this the customer replied ,
" You вiтсh, the hеll with your рussy, where the fuск is my DIСК ".

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A truck was traveling through town.
When the driver stopped at a red light, A blonde jumped out of her car, ran up to the driver of the truck, and said,
"Mr. you're losing part of your load".
She jumps back into her car and follows the truck to the next light.
She jumps out of car and runs up to the driver's window, "Mr. you're losing part of your load."
The same thing happens for 7 stops, finally the 8th stop, the blonde came running up to the truck driver's window, before she could say anything, the driver said,
"Ma'am, this is winter in maine, i'm driving a salt truck......."

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Blonde Jokes Car and driving jokes Stupid Jokes

A black guy and his black girlfriend are in a car. Who's driving?
"The cop!"

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Why are asian people bad at driving?
Because they can't see.

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Car and driving jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Asian jokes

A реnguin's car breaks down and he has it towed to a repair shop.
The mechanic tells him that he should have some information in about an hour.
The реnguin sees an ice cream shop across the street so he wanders over while the mechanic works.
He finds the vanilla is the best ice cream he's ever eaten and he eats it with messy and gluttonous abandon getting it all over his face.
He goes back to the mechanic's to check on his car.
The mechanic informs him, "It looks as though you've blown a seal."
"Oh, no." replies the реnguin "It's just some ice cream."

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Office and Work Jokes Car and driving jokes Animal Jokes

What do Darren Millane (Collingwood footballer killed in a recent car crash) and a blonde have in common?
Put either of 'em in a car and they're fuскеd.

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In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep.
Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus and the jeep.

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Car and driving jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Dinosaur jokes

What do a gаy and a garbage truck have in common?
Both take it in the rear.

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My wife crashed her car yesterday. She told the Police that the man she collided with was on his mobile and drinking вееr from a can at the time.
The Police said that the gentleman was entitled to do what ever he wanted in his own back garden.

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