Office and Work Jokes

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Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
A: He had no body to go with.

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How many IBM employees does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
10,000: one to hold up the light bulb, and 9,999 to turn the building around.

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Office and Work Jokes Nationality Jokes Blonde Jokes Light bulb jokes

Q: How many lawyers does it take to sсrеw a light bulb?
A: One but it has to have a good case.

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Office and Work Jokes Lawyer Jokes

Q: How many lawyers does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
A: Four: one to climb the ladder, one to hold the ladder, one to shake the ladder and one to sue the ladder company.

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Office and Work Jokes Lawyer Jokes Light bulb jokes

Q: How many IT guys does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
A: None, that's a Facilities problem.

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Q: How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: You need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.

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Definition of a Lawyer:
A person who puts two men into a fight and runs off with their clothes.

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Office and Work Jokes Lawyer Jokes

Legal Jargon!
Q: What did the Lawyer say to the lеsвiаn?
A: One slip of the tongue and you will be in s**t!

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What is the difference between a leech and a lawyer?
The leech stops suскing you dry after you're dead.

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Office and Work Jokes Lawyer Jokes

A good lawyer knows the law a great lawyer ...
A good lawyer knows the law; a great lawyer knows the judge.

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Office and Work Jokes Lawyer Jokes

When do you know a lawyer is telling the truth?
When his lips are shut.

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Office and Work Jokes Lawyer Jokes

What do you call an honest lawyer?
An oxymoron.

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Why was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before he died?
He was looking for loopholes!

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Office and Work Jokes Lawyer Jokes

A doctor notices a sidewalk stand that says 'brains for sale.' He goes over to investigate and sees a sign that says 'Doctor brains $8.00 a pound’ and another sign that says ‘Paramedic brains $12.00 a pound, Nurses brains $30.00 a pound, truck driver $40.00 a pound and lawyers brains $90.00 a pound.’ So he asks the man behind the cash register, “how come his brains are only worth 8.00 and a lawyer's worth 90.00?” The man replies, “do you know how many lawyers it takes to make a pound of brains?”

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Q: What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
A: One's a slimy sсuм-suскing bottom-dwelling scavenger; the other is a fish.

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Office and Work Jokes One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes

Q: What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their necks in sand?
A: Not enough sand.

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Office and Work Jokes Dark Humor Jokes One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Morbid jokes

In a мurdеr trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining the coroner:
"Before you signed the death certificate, did you take the pulse, listen to the heart or check for breathing?"
"No."
"So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren't sure the man was dead, were you?"
"Well, the man's brain was in a jar on my desk, but I suppose he could have still been practicing law for a living."

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Office and Work Jokes Men jokes Lawyer Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Steve lies dying, as Jack, his law partner of 40 years, sits at his bedside.
"Jack, I've got to confess - I've been sleeping with your wife for 30 years, I'm the father of your daughter, and I've been stealing from the firm for a decade."
"Relax," says Jack, "and don't think another thing about it. I'm the one who put arsenic in your martini."

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How come you can't find lawyers sunbathing on the beach?
Cats keep covering them over with sand.

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Office and Work Jokes Lawyer Jokes

What's the difference between a lawyer and God?
God doesn't think he's a lawyer.

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