Boycott These Jokes

The difference between like and love is spit and swallow.

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I'm currently boycotting any company that sells items I can't afford.

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Q: Why do Hookers wear tampons? A: So сrавs can bungee jump.

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Three ladies were on a flight, when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing." The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich, and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and вrа. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great t*ts and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and раnтiеs. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."

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Here is a pick up line. "Hey girl, come sit on my lap and we could talk about the first thing that pops up."

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Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.

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A limbless man sat on the side of a lake everyday. He had no hands or no legs. One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No." The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?" The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever." So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked. "No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before." The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?" The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fuскеd." The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"

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A blind man walked into a fish market and said, "Hello ladies!"

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The tenderest love is between two homosexual men with hemorrhoids.

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Michael Jackson has done something no one has ever done before. I'm not talking about his record sales or tickets sold. I'm talking about being born a black man, and dying a white woman. Incredible.

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There was this homeless drunк dude laying in an alley talking out loud saying, "I wish had another drink." He then passed out. As he was saying that, a gаy dude was walking by and heard him. When the gаy guy came back, he f*cked the homeless guy and put three dollars in his pocket. The homeless dude woke up later and found the money, ran to the liquor store, and said, "Give me the cheapest half of pint you have," and went back to his spot, drunк it and passed out again. The gаy dude came back, f*cked the homeless dude again, and left five dollars. He ran back to the liquor store and said, "Give me the cheapest pint you have," and went back to his spot. The gаy dude came back again. Once he saw the homeless man passed out, he f*cked him again and left eight dollars The homeless dude woke up and realized he had some more money. He ran back to the liquor store, and before he could say a word, the owner said, "I know, you want the cheapest pint you can get," and the homeless dude said, "No, give me the most expensive half you got. That cheap liquor is tearing my аss up."

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A man recently had his arm amputated and decided to кill himself by jumping off a building. When he was ready to jump, he saw a man with both arms amputated dancing around. He decided to find out why he was so happy. The man told him, “I’m not dancing. My аss is itching and I can’t scratch it!”

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This brother was ваnging his sister, and he says, "You fuск like Mom," and she laughs. He says, "What?" She says, "That's what Dad said."

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A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."

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After being married for twenty years to his lover, a gаy man dies. When the funeral arrangements have been set, the widower approaches the undertaker with a peculiar request, "I know we had plans to cremate his body, but will you please chop him up and put him in a extra spicy curry instead?" The undertaker asks, "Why would you want that?" The gаy widower replies, "So he will вlоw my аss out one more time."

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Have you heard? Michael Jackson’s last wish was that his body be turned into Legos. So little kids can play with him. It turns out this wish hasn’t been difficult to implement, as his body was already 99% plastic.

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Ever seen a blind man swim? He probably hasn't either.

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When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple kool-aid.

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Q: What kind of wood doesn't float?
A: Natalie Wood.

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The Italian boxing team boycotted the Olympics when they heard it was going to be one on one.

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