Chuck Norris Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died?
His shoe.

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Chuck Norris once went skydiving but promised never to do it again.
One Grand Canyon is enough.

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Chuck Norris installed his own home security system. It's called "Chuck Norris."

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Neil Armstrong was the first person to walk on the moon, Chuck Norris was the first person to walk on the sun.

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Chuck can use "save" in real life.
But he doesn't need it.

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Before the 16th century, the sun really did go around the earth.
Chuck Norris just decided to change it as a prank.

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Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.

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Chuck Norris doesn't daydream.
He's too busy giving other people nightmares.

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Chuck Norris doesn't pick up his food to eat it.
He commands it to enter his mouth.

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Elvis Presley, Richard Petty, Budweiser, and Michael Jackson all call Chuck Norris "The King".

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Chuck Norris can open Microsoft Windows when he needs fresh air.

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Chuck Norris often walks on Bikini Atoll during tests to get a tan.

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Some check under their beds for "Penny Wise the Clown" before to sleep.
Penny Wise the Clown checks for Chuck Norris under his bed before going to sleep.

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Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not кill.

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When Chuck Norris goes to the cinema, he changes the movies with his remote control.

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Chuck Norris originally wrote the first dictionary.
The definition of each word is as follows - A swift roundhouse kick to the face.

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Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

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While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.

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Night time... when Chuck Norris tells the sun it's time for bed.

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Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.

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