Chuck Norris Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes.

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If Chuck Norris was in a video game it would be called Immortal Kombat.

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The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.

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Leonardo DiCaprio had to ask permission from Chuck Norris to say the famous line "I'm the king of the world. "

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Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids.
The results came back positive.
When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"

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Chuck Norris was once shot. The bullet died.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger always says he'll be back. But Chuck Norris always handles things the first time

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If you rate this kickass, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's аss.

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Chuck Norris once kicked Hulk in the face, so Hulk ran into the woods. He is now known as Shrek.

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Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident, but he still managed to walk it off.

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When Chuck Norris gets pulled over he read the officers his rights.

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Even after muting "Walker, Texas Ranger", you can still hear Chuck Norris's victims screaming after getting roundhouse kicked.

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Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as "You Know Who."

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Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.

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Chuck Norris can access private methods.

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Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling ваlls without chewing.

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Chuck Norris watched the tape from The Ring.
His phone rang and when he answered a scared voice said "Excuse me, the wrong number"

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It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor.
That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.

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Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog.
When he saw it giggled and said:
"What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"

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Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.

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