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Dark Humor Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

What do you call a cave-dwelling virgin?
Never Bin Laidon

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News and Politics Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Dirty jokes Military Jokes

And these kids do not deserve a present from me, because they have not been eating well this year, - said Santa Claus, flying over the starving kids in Sudan.

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Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Christmas Jokes

Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones?
Because they're hand made.

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Dark Humor Jokes Baby Jokes Beauty Jokes

An apple and a black person both fall off a tree at the exact same time who hits the ground first?
The apple because the rope catches the black person.

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Dark Humor Jokes

What's the best way to pick up a Jewish girl?
Bring a dustpan to Auschwitz

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Dark Humor Jokes

Q: Did you hear about the dead lawyer who was too big to fit in a coffin?
A: They gave him an enema and buried him in a shoebox.

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Office and Work Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Lawyer Jokes

This was a really, really big year for me.
I got to go home for Thanksgiving and sit at the adults' table. That's 'cause, you know, somebody had to die for me to move up a plate.

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Looking Good Jokes Dark Humor Jokes One-Liner Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes

Q: What's a polygon?
A: A dead parrot.

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Dark Humor Jokes Animal Jokes Math Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Parrot jokes

Q: What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve?
A: I haven't seen you for a year!

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Dark Humor Jokes

What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law?
There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.

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Food Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Animal Jokes Mother-in-Law Jokes

I gas the only problem I have with the wold now is all the deutchbags.

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Dark Humor Jokes Hitler Jokes

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Dark Humor Jokes April Fools' Jokes Anti-Humor Jokes

Why did Нiтlеr committed a suicide? He received the bill from Gazprom.

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Dark Humor Jokes Hitler Jokes

What did the dead dog say to its owner.
Nothing. It's dead..

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Dark Humor Jokes Anti-Humor Jokes Dog jokes

Why did little Billy fall off the swing?
Because he got hit by a microwave.

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Dark Humor Jokes

How many dead babies does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
As many as it takes to climb on top of them in order to reach the socket.

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Dark Humor Jokes

One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor:
- Help me, please. I have a knife in my back.
The doctor, looking his watch says:
- Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you.
Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8.
- But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now.
The doctor, angrily says:
- I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you.
You must pass here tomorrow.
- But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead.
Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back.
The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye.
- Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.

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Office and Work Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Men jokes Sick and Death Jokes

The other day a friend and myself decided to try out an aerobics video because we were both feeling very unfit.
We put the tape in and started to copy the movements.
After a few minutes we had chopped each other's arms off with chain-saws.
It was only then that we realized that I had accidentally put "Рsyсhо Killers III" in the video by mistake!
How we laughed!!!!

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Dark Humor Jokes Friendship Jokes

Press kickass if your saying jokes from this website to people at your school

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School Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

"My son, this is your senior year at school so your mom and I decided that you’re going to be a doctor."
"But what are you saying dad? You know very well that I’m not in a position even to... кill a mosquito."

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School Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Dad Jokes Sick and Death Jokes