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Food Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Yo' Mama is so poor, she only goes to the grocery store for free samples.

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Money jokes Food Jokes Yo Momma Jokes

Two cannibals just got their hands on a corpse. One says to the other, "I'll start at the head, you start at the feet."
They start to eat, and after awhile the one at the head yells to the other one, "Hey, how's it going?"
The other replies, "I'm having a ball!"
Getting mad, the one at the head yells, "Dаммiт, slow down, you're eating too fast!"

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Gross Jokes Food Jokes

Little Johnny got caught stealing in a FOOD 4 LESS and runs away from the cops.
He runs towards his school and into his classroom.
He asks his teacher "May I please hide in your classroom because I got caught stealing".
The teacher says "Yes".
Little Johnny first hides under a desk, but no, the cops can see him there.
He then hides behind the door, but no, the cops can see him there.
So the teacher suggested to little Johnny "Hide under my long, fluffy skirt".
Little Johnny says "O.K."
The cops arrive and ask the teacher "Have you seen a little boy around here?".
The teacher replies "sorry, I haven't".
When the cops left the classroom the teacher says" Johnny, the cops are gone.you can come out now".
Little johnny replies" not yet, I got one more braid to go".

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Food Jokes Dirty jokes

If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes Math Jokes

When Chuck Norris cuts onions, the onins cry.

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Food Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Q: What day does an Easter egg hate the most?
A: Fry-days.

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Food Jokes Easter Jokes

An old, old man was lying in his death bed upstairs.
His most favorite food in the world was chocolate chip cookies.
As he lay there, gasping for each breath, he was sure he could smell freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies.
He crawled out of bed and slowly limped down the stairs.
Sure enough, across the kitchen, there was a huge platter of chocolate chip cookies on the table.
He finally made it to the table and he reached a shaking hand towards the cookies.
Suddenly, his wife slapped his hand sharply and yelled, "DON’T TOUCH THOSE - they’re for the funeral!"

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Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Men jokes Old People Jokes Funeral jokes Chocolate Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Yo momma's so fат, she only knows 3 letters of the alphabet: KFC.

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Food Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

Dad tries to persuade his son to eat the egg he has prepared for him:
"Eat your egg my child to become as big as daddy!"
"I do not want," says the little one.
"Eat it my boy to become strong and powerful."
"I’m telling you, no!" insists the youngest.
"My dear son eat your egg to make your bird grow."
And the mom from the inside "George, you eat the egg… I’ll make burgers for the kid!"

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Kids Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Dad Jokes

"Why are you studying your Easter candy?"
"I'm trying to decide which came first-the chocolate chicken or the chocolate egg!"

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Food Jokes Science jokes Chocolate Jokes Easter Jokes

Question: What’s the ideal breakfast setting?
Answer: You’re sitting at the kitchen table and your son is on the cover of the Wheaties box, your mistress is on the cover of Рlаyвоy, and your wife is on the back of a milk carton.

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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes

Q: What is a banana's favorite gymnastic move?
A: The splits!

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Sports Jokes Kids Jokes Food Jokes Fitness jokes

Have you heard of the new Obama happy meal at Mcdonalds?
It comes with a promise that you'll get a toy someday.

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Food Jokes Political Jokes American Presidents Humor

How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three.
One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.

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Food Jokes Men jokes

Why did the Scottish cannibal live on a sugar plantation?
He said, "So that I can feed my lads with m'lasses."

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Food Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

Yo momma's so fат...
To her light food means under 4 Tons.

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Food Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

What did one dairy соw say to another?
Got milk?

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes

The cannibals on the island Borneo have caught and after that have grilled one gypsy boy on a turnspit.
They had to turn him really quickly above the burning fire because at a slower speed of rotation he managed to steal the potatoes from the live coal.

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Food Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Morbid jokes

Yo' Mama is so poor, her face is on the food stamp.

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Money jokes Insult Jokes Food Jokes Yo Momma Jokes

What do spiders like to order at a fast food restaurant?
Burgers and flies.

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Gross Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes Restaurant Jokes