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Food Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of food.
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Religion jokes God Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes
Q: What kind of candy do Indians give out on Halloween?
A: Dots.
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Halloween Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes One-Liner Jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes
When you have a man staring at a nакеd Рlаyвоy model, be sure that he doesn’t wonder if she knows cooking, or if she plays piano or if she has a nice personality either!
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Men jokes Food Jokes Music and Musician Jokes
What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
He felt funny.
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Food Jokes Animal Jokes
Yo' Mama is so poor, her face is on the food stamp.
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Yo Momma Jokes Money jokes Insult Jokes Food Jokes
What do spiders like to order at a fast food restaurant?
Burgers and flies.
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Gross Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes Restaurant Jokes
Yo mama nose is so big she could smell what the rock was cooking before he started cooking.
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Yo Momma Jokes Food Jokes Ugly Jokes
Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncle's wife?
He was an aunteater.
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Cannibal Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny." At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Diск, let's go."
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Dirty jokes Money jokes Kids Jokes Food Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes
Q: What is a Democratic Free Market?
A: One that hands out slices of cheese.
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Democrat jokes Money jokes Food Jokes Political Jokes
Being single is cool cause you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss.
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Gross Jokes Food Jokes Single People Jokes Fart Jokes
Q: What's the difference between apple pie and рussy?
A: You can eat Granmas apple pie.
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Gross Jokes Food Jokes Fishing Jokes
Chicken to turkey:
"Only Thanksgiving and Christmas? You're lucky, with us it's any Sunday."
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Animal Jokes Food Jokes Christmas Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes Sick and Death Jokes
While enjoying an early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona cafe, four elderly ranchers were discussing everything from cattle, horses, and weather, to how things used to be in the “good old days.”
Eventually the conversation moved on to their spouses.
One gentleman turned to the fellow on his right and asked,
“Roy, aren’t you and your bride celebrating your fiftieth wedding anniversary soon?”
“Yup, we sure are,” Roy replied.
“Well, are you gonna do anything special to celebrate?” another man asked.
The old gentleman pondered this for a moment, then replied, “For our twenty-fifth anniversary,
I took Bea to Tucson. Maybe for our fiftieth, I’ll go down there and get her.”
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Men jokes Food Jokes Old People Jokes Wedding jokes Weather jokes
McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar.
When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave.
"S'cuse me", said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done, "What was that all about?"
"Nothin', said the Irishman, "My wife just sent me out for a jar of olives!"
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Drinking and Drunk Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes
A 5 year old and a 3 year old are upstairs in their bedroom
"You know what?" says the 5 year old, "I think it's about time we started swearing."
The 3 year old nods his head in approval, so the 5 year old says,
"When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok?"
"Ok" the 3 year old, agrees with enthusiasm.
The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 5 year old what he wants for breakfast.
"Shiт mum, I don't know, I suppose I'll have some Fruit Loops."
(WHACK...she spanks him)
He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out.
She looked at the 3 year old and asked with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"
"I don't know mum, but it won't be fuскing Fruit Loops."
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Old People Jokes Kids Jokes Food Jokes Men jokes
Q: What kind of bread do elves make sandwiches with?
A: Why, shortbread of course!
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Food Jokes
Q: How do you know Noah was a White man?
A: No niggеr could stay on a boat for 40 days without eating the chickens!
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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes Men jokes Black People Jokes White people jokes
A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining a wealthy ambassador at a very expensive restaurant in New York.
The ambassador was so enthralled by her beauty that he asked her to marry him.
The secretary knew she couldn't insult a foreign dignitary, so she decided to let him down easy.
"I'll only marry you under three conditions."
"Anything, anything," said the ambassador.
"First, you must buy me a 14-karat gold wedding band with a 72-karat diamond, along with a 28-inch studded matching necklace for our engagement."
The ambassador picked up his cell phone, called his personal accountant, and said, "Yes, yes, I buy, I buy!"
"Second, I want you to build me a 58-acre mansion in the richest part of the Hamptons, along with a 40-acre summer home in the sweetest vineyards of France."
The ambassador picked up his phone, called his personal brokers in New York and France, and said, "Yes, yes, I build, I build!"
The secretary knew she must think of a final request that would be impossible to live up to.
"Finally," she said. "I'll only marry you if you have a 10-inch реnis."
A sad face befell the ambassador, and he cupped his face in his hands. After weeping, the ambassador slowly lifted his head and said, "Ok, ok, I cut, I cut!"
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Insult Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Secretary Jokes Restaurant Jokes
Q: Did you hear about the new black breakfast cereal?
A: It's called "Nuttin' Вiтсh!"
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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Food Jokes Black People Jokes
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