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Food Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Q: What kind of bees make milk instead of honey?
A: Boo-bees

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Jokes about Women Food Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

How do you starve a niggеr?
Hide his food stamps under his work boots

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Office and Work Jokes Food Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Boycott Jokes

A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The dad said:
"Well it's what Mommy calls me sometimes."
The little girl screamed to her brother,:
"Don't eat it. Its an аsshоlе!

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Kids Jokes Food Jokes Men jokes Dad Jokes

A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sеx. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that. About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn't five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!" The doctor says, "I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong! The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages."
"Nah," she says, "that's okay. We're never going back to that restaurant anyway."

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Office and Work Jokes Food Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Sex Jokes Relationship Jokes Restaurant Jokes

Why is the leaning tower of Pizza leaning?
It has better reflexes than the twin towers.

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Food Jokes

I was forced to swallow purple food color.
I feel violated.

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Food Jokes

They say to never go shopping for food when you're hungry
But it's been a week already and I keep getting hungrier and hungrier.

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Food Jokes

I am so high and I made up a joke and I want to tell it and make someone laugh but no one is home so: Whats an epileptics favorite food?
Seizure salad.
I peed

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Food Jokes

My friend told me about a wonder food that he discovered that contains protein, fiber, and good fats
"That's nuts!" I exclaimed.
Edit: Wow! Who knew that by posting an original joke I'd get this many upvotes! That's nuts!

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Food Jokes

My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
Oh you’re talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back.
My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.

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Food Jokes Phone jokes

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? He wiped his аss.

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Gross Jokes Food Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Cannibal Jokes Friendship Jokes Relationship Jokes Boycott Jokes Rude Jokes

Knock Knock.
Who's there!
Ice cream!
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you don't let me in!

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Food Jokes Knock-knock jokes Communication Jokes

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads:
CHEESEBURGER: $1.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50
HAND JOB: $10.00
He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks.
"Can I help you?" she asks.
"I was wondering," whispers the man. "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
"Yes," she purrs. "I am."
The man replies, "Well, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger."

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Money jokes Food Jokes Blonde Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes

I’d Hit You But I Don’t Wanna Go To Jail For Animal Abuse.

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Food Jokes

3 people died and went to Неll. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: “Local calls are free”.

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Food Jokes USA Jokes Heaven And Hell Jokes German Jokes American Jokes

What’s a lеsвiаns favorite type of food?
Finger-Food

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Food Jokes

I was watching my boyfriends dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with the him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When i looked down, he appeared to be dead. My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn’t know what to do ,so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waiting for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said ,”you know , your dogs been a little depressed lately…”

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes

What food makes women stop giving вlоw jobs?
Wedding cake

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Food Jokes

These times are harder on people with disabilities.
My dwarf friend is struggling to put food on the table

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Food Jokes

Being a waiter may not be a very glamorous job
But at least it puts food on the table

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Food Jokes