Priest Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Three religious leaders (a rabbi, a priest, and a minister) were all discussing how they divide up tithing income between themselves and God. The minister said,
"I draw a line in the sand, throw the money up in the air, and what lands on the left side of the line goes to the good Lord and what lands on the right side goes to me." Then the priest said,
"I draw a circle on the ground, throw the money up in the air, and what lands inside the circle goes to the good Lord and what lands outside goes to me." Then the rabbi said,
"You got it all wrong! I throw the money up in the air and what the good Lord catches is his and what lands on the ground is mine."

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Religion jokes Money jokes God Jokes Priest Jokes

While volunteering in a soup kitchen, I hit it off with a very attractive, single man. It was a relief since my mother and I always laughed at the fact that the men I was drawn to were inevitably married.
So, optimistic about my chances, I asked my new friend what he did for a living.
He replied, “I’m a priest.”

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Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Friendship Jokes Relationship Jokes Single People Jokes Priest Jokes

The Priest of a small village was very happy with his flock of ten hens and a cockerel.
He kept them in a hen house behind the parish, but one Saturday night, the cockerel was missing.
The priest, suspecting fowl play decided to say something about it at church the next morning.
At last, he asked the congregation, has anyone got a соск? To which all the men stood up.
“No,no,” he said, some what flustered, “that’s not what I meant. “Has anybody SEEN a соск?” All the women stood up.
“No, no,” he said. “Thats not what I meant either. Has anyone seen a соск that doesn’t belong to them.” Half the women stood up.
“No, no,” He said, now thoroughly embarrassed “Perhaps I should rephrase the question: Has anybody here seen MY соск?” All the choirboys stood up.

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Criminal Jokes Priest Jokes Superhero Jokes

A drunк staggers out of a bar and runs into two priests. He goes over to the first priest and says,
"Dude, I'm Jesus Сhrisт!" And the priest says,
"No son, you're not." So the drunк goes over to the second priest and says,
"Man, I'm Jesus Сhrisт!" Then the priest says,
"No son, you're not." Finally, the drunк had enough and said,
"Here, I'll prove it." He walks back into the bar with both priests and the bartender looks up and sees the drunк and says,
"Jesus Сhrisт, you're back AGAIN?"

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Religion jokes Men jokes Priest Jokes

A Republican, a Democrat, a Communist, a priest, a rabbi, an Imam, an African, a Caucasian, an Asian, a horse, a giraffe, an elephant, a fairy, an elf, and an unicorn walk into a bar...
The bar tender looks up
"What is this? A joke?"

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Bar and Bartender Jokes Asian jokes Elephant jokes Horse jokes Priest Jokes

A rabbi, a priest and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, a joke?"

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Priest Jokes Priest Jokes

Q: How is a Catholic priest like a Christmas tree?
A: The ваlls are just for decoration.

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Priest Jokes Priest Jokes

A black man, a Mexican man, a white man, an Asian man, a priest, a rabbi, and a рrоsтiтuте walk into a bar.
It was a very popular bar.

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Dark Humor Jokes Men jokes Anti-Humor Jokes Priest Jokes

Jack goes to his friend Mike and says, “I’m sleeping with the priest’s wife. Can you hold him in church for an hour after mass for me?”
The friend doesn’t like it but being a friend, he agrees.
After mass, he starts talking to the priest, asking him all sorts of sтuрid questions, just to keep him occupied.
Finally the priest gets annoyed and asks Mike what he’s really up to.
Mike, feeling guilty, finally confesses to the priest, “My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied.”
The priest smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Mike’s shoulder and says, “You’d better hurry home now. My wife died a year ago.”

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Friendship Jokes Cheating Jokes Priest Jokes