Life Jokes

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Η δεύτερη γνώμη! Психиатъра ми ми каза, че съм луда. Жена отива на лекар и той й казва: Doctor: You're obese. Un señor va al médico porque se encuentra muy mal. Tras una exploración, el doctor le comenta: Mrs. Jones goes to the doctor for a full medical. After an hour or so, the doctor looks at Mrs. Jones and says the following: "Mrs. Jones, overall you are very healthy for a 45 year old. There is however, only one problem. You are 40 pounds overweight and bordering on obese. I would strongly... Vous avez un cancer du foie et c'est incurable. - Docteur, comme vous y allez, j'aimerais avoir un deuxième avis. - En plus, vous êtes moche. Depois de avaliar os exames de seu paciente o médico lhe dá uma notícia nada boa: — Lamento informar mas o senhor tem poucos meses de vida! — Não! não! Eu quero uma segunda opinião! — Então tá:... Arzt: "Sie sind stark übergewichtig." Patient: "Uff. Da hätte ich gern eine zweite Meinung." Arzt: „Hässlich sind Sie auch.“ - Κύριε μου, είστε υπερτασικός. - Γιατρέ μου μπορώ να έχω και μια δεύτερη γνώμη ? - Βεβαίως! Είστε και άσχημος. El médico le dice a su paciente: Señor, lamento decirle que usted tiene un cáncer terminal. El paciente indignado le responde: No puede ser, exijo una segunda opinión. El médico amablemente le... Er komt een man bij de dokter. Hij voelt zich zo rottig. De dokter onderzoekt hem en komt tot de conclusie dat de man geen drie weken meer heeft te leven. De man is eerst nogal beduusd, maar zegt... A patient has a sore throat and goes to a doctor to get treatment for it. Doctor: Your tonsils have to come out. Patient: I wanna second opinion. Doctor: Okay, you're ugly, too. Un tip se duce la doctor să afle ce e în neregulă cu el. - Problema dumneavoastră este că sunteţi gras, îi spuse doctorul. - Aş vrea şi o a doua opinie, spuse tipul. - Bine, sunteţi şi urât, îi... My doctor called me fat. I told him I wanted a second opinion and he said, “OK, you’re ugly too.” I went to see my doctor, and he told me I was overweight. I said, "I want a second opinion." He said, "Alright. You're ugly." - Rodney Dangerfield
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Лекар и сестра били любовници. Шпагети The doctor A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. Un avvocato ha una relazione clandestina con la sua segretaria. Quando la donna rimane incinta, per non essere scoperto dalla moglie, le suggerisce di farsi un lungo viaggio, da lui spesato. La donna allora chiede: "E come faccio a dirti quando è nato il bambino?" "Mandami una cartolina con... O homem estava tendo um caso com a secretária. Após um tempo, ela lhe disse que estava grávida. Não querendo que sua mulher soubesse, deu dinheiro à secretária, mandou que ela fosse para a Itália e... Een dokter heeft een slippertje met zijn verpleegster. Op een goede (of slechte) ochtend meldt zij hem dat ze zwanger is. Aangezien de dokter niet wil dat zijn vrouw maar de minste onraad ruikt,... O sujeito engravidou a secretária e para esconder o caso, deu-lhe uma boa soma em dinheiro e mandou-a para Itália, onde ela poderia ter o bebê tranquilamente e ninguém ficaria sabendo de nada.... Op een dag, ongeveer negen maanden later, trof de man zijn vrouw in een verwarde toestand aan. "Schat," zei ze, "je hebt een heel vreemd kaartje ontvangen." "Oh, geef het maar aan mij wellicht snap... Un barbat, satul de greutatile din Romania, pleaca in Italia la munca, asa cum se intampla din ce in ce mai des in ultima vreme. Acolo se incurca cu o italianca si o lasa insarcinata. Pentru ca... Un abogado mantiene un romance con su secretaria. Al poco tiempo ésta queda embarazada y el abogado, que no quiere que su esposa se entere, le da a una buena suma de dinero y le pide que vaya a... Egy doktornak viszonya van az ápolónőjével, aki teherbe esik tőle. Mivel nem akarja, hogy a felesége is tudomást szerezzen a gyerekről, kitömi egy kis pénzzel az ápolónőt és megkéri, hogy menjen el... Un médecin a une aventure extra-conjugale avec son infirmière. Elle lui annonce un matin qu’elle est enceinte. Comme le médecin ne veut pas que son épouse ait le moindre doute, il remet à... En betydelsefull man i Sveriges riksdag hade under många år en kärleksaffär med en italiensk kvinna. Under en av deras hemliga möten avslöjade hon att hon blivit gravid. För att inte förstöra sitt... Un homme met accidentellement sa maîtresse enceinte. Pour ne pas que sa femme soit au courant, il propose à la future maman: - Tu vas aller en Italie pendant 9 mois. Et lorsque le bébé viendra au...
A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have the child. If she stayed in Italy, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but wondered how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to mail him a postcard, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support. One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. "Honey," she said, "you received a very strange postcard today."
"Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later," he said. The wife handed the card over and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted. On the card was written "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without."
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