Men-Women jokes

A brunette is walking through the country when she finds a bottle. She rubs it, and a genie appears. The genie says, "You are allowed three wishes. But I must warn you, anything you get, all the blondes in the world get twice as much."
The woman says, "OK. Give me a nice house."
The genie replies, "You now have one nice house, and all the blondes in the world have two."
The woman says, "Give me a gorgeous man."
The genie replies, "You now have one gorgeous man while all the blondes have two."
The brunette says, "For my last wish, Genie, see that stick over there? Beat me half to death with it."

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Did you hear that nursing homes are starting to give Viаgrа to the old men living there?
It's to keep them from rolling out of bed.

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Men vs Women Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes Old People Jokes Nurse jokes Viagra jokes

Q: What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common?
A: In the end, someone is going to lose a trailer.

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Men vs Women Jokes Redneck jokes Divorce Jokes

A woman got married, but her husband was abusive.
She got remarried and that husband ran out on her.
She got married again and that husband failed in bed.
Finally, she put an ad in the paper: "Looking for a man who won't abuse me, won't leave me, and won't fail me in bed."
The next day, the doorbell rings. There is a man with no arms and no legs.
"Hello, I saw your ad in the paper," he says.
"Tell me a little about you."
"Well, I have no arms, so I can't hit you. I have no legs, so I can't run out on you," he replies.
"How do I know you're good in bed?" she asks.
He says, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"

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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

What do you call a blond with half a brain?
Gifted

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Blonde Jokes Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

What does a man call true love?
An еrестiоn.

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Men jokes Men vs Women Jokes

A man was digging a ditch, when he uncovered a lamp.
When he brushed it off, a genie popped out, and said "To show my gratitude for releasing me, I'll grant you one wish.."
The man thought for a second, reached into his pocket, pulled out a map of the world, pointed to the Middle-East, and replied "I want you to bring peace to this area."
"Ooooh...I'm so sorry, that's impossible" said the genie. "There's absolutely no way I could accomplish such a great feat, so you'll have to choose another wish..."
The man then said "Well...then how about having my wife give me оrаl-sеx voluntarily...?"
The genie thought for a minute, then said "Can I see that map again..?"

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Sex Jokes Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

Three women are out clubbing and they spot a club that says, "Women Only."
Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.
The first floor has a sign on the door that reads, "All men here are short and plain."
The women laugh and continue up to the second floor.
The sign reads, "All men here are tall and plain."
Still this isn't good enough, and the women proceed to the third floor.
"All men here are short and handsome."
The women still want more and go to the fourth floor, where the sign reads, "All men here are tall and handsome."
This is perfect and the women are preparing to go in, when they realise that there is still one more floor.
They go up one floor and read the sign.
"There are no men here. This floor is built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."

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Friendship Jokes Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

Q: Why do hоrny women order at Subway?
A: Footlongs.

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes

Q:What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A:When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your brand new car.

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Car and driving jokes Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes

A true gentleman holds the door for his woman... then smacks her аss as she walks by.

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

If you catch a man…throw him back.

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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

A man bought a new car.
Next day he is driving his car to office.
On the way he was waiting for the Signal.
Suddenly he opened the door and got down.
Then he went to the Traffic Police and asked him, "How much should I pay to turn right?"
The Policeman was astonished and asked, "Why are you asking like this?"
Then man showed him the sign board which was in the corner of the road:
"Free Left Turn"

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Police Officer Jokes Office and Work Jokes Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

One day Dan asks Bob, "So Bob what did you get for Christmas?"
Then Bob says to Dan, "Oh see that brand new red Ferrari outside?"
Dan says, "OOOOH WOW!
Bob says, "Ya, I got the same exact color tie!"

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Men vs Women Jokes Christmas Jokes Men jokes

On a crowded bus, an old lady noticed that a man had his eyes closed.
"What's the matter? Are you sick?" she asked.
"No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see old ladies standing."

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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Jokes about Women

Q: Why do women have arms?
A: Have you any idea how long it would take to liск a bathroom clean?

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes

Q: Why do some women look at blank paper?
A: They like to read their rights.

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes

A man went into the drugstore and asked for a deodorant.
"The ball type?" asked the clerk.
"No," said the dumb man. "It's for my underarms."

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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?
A: She can't find the eleven.

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Math Jokes Phone jokes

A woman meets with her lover, who is also her husband's best friend.
They make love for hours. Afterwards, as they lie in bed, the phone rings. Since it's the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. The best friend listens, only hearing her side of the conversation:
"Hello? Oh, hi... I'm so glad that you called... Really? That's wonderful... Well, I'm happy to hear you're having such a great time... Oh, that sounds terrific... Love you, too. OK. Bye-bye."
She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?"
"Oh," she replies, "That was my husband telling me about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."

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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Animal Jokes Friendship Jokes Fishing Jokes Love Jokes