Men-Women jokes

A police officer saw a car speeding down the highway, and he started chasing after the speeder. When he got close, he saw that it was a woman who was knitting while driving.
The cop yelled, "Pull over!"
She shouted back, "No, it's a sweater!"

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Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes

Q: What do you get when you cross donkey DNA with an onion?
A: A piece of аss that will bring tears to your eyes.

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Men vs Women Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes

Oooh and "Ahhhh"
Q: What's the difference between "oooh" and "ahhhh?"
A: About four inches.

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Men vs Women Jokes Sex Jokes

Sometimes it is very important if a sentence was said by a man or a woman.
A good example: “I used a whole pack of tissues during that awesome movie yesterday!”

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Men vs Women Jokes Good jokes

A young man wanted to buy a pair of expensive gloves for his sweetheart's birthday. He went to an expensive boutique, bought the finest gloves available, and asked the saleswoman to have them delivered along with a note he had written. Unfortunately, the clerk mixed up the order while wrapping the merchandise. Instead of the expensive gloves, the clerk accidentally wrapped a pair of раnтiеs and sent them to the young man's sweetheart along with the following note which he had written. Darling:
I have been trying desperately to come up with a special gift for your birthday. I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. I would have chosen the long ones with buttons, but since your sister wears the short ones which are so easy to remove, I wanted to get the same style for you. You may be concerned that these are a delicate shade, however, the saleslady showed me a pair that she had been wearing for three weeks and they were hardly soiled. She said that there are a couple of important care considerations that I should mention to you. First, when you take them off, remember to вlоw in them before putting them away since they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Second, be sure to keep them on while cleaning them so that they won't shrink. The saleslady made such an impression upon me that I had her try them on for me. She really looked great in them and I can just imagine how great they are going to look on you. I decided to mail these so that you would have them in time for your birthday. I really hesitated because I wanted so much to be there to watch you put them on for the first time. There is little doubt in my mind that many other hands will have touched them before I see you again. I can hardly wait to run my own hands over them or do as the French do, and gently kiss them. I hope you really like them and will wear them for me on Friday night. PS: The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.

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Men vs Women Jokes Friday jokes

I've asked my girlfriend to polish my medieval battle uniform while I go to the pub.
She always said she wanted a night in, shining armour.

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Men vs Women Jokes Relationship Jokes Communication Jokes Love Jokes Polish jokes

A blonde goes to the doctor with burns on both of her ears and her right hand. "Sit down and tell me how it happened," says the doctor.
"I was ironing my clothes when I received a call. Instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and burned my ear."
"'What about the other ear and your hand?" the doctor asked.
She replied, "I tried to call for an ambulance."

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes

Q: What happened when the blonde tried to give her boyfriend a вlоw job while he was driving?
A: They both fell off the motorcycle.

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Men vs Women Jokes Sex Jokes Blonde Jokes

Q: What did the nut say to the bolt?
A: "Sсrеw me."

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Men vs Women Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Communication Jokes

One day while doing door-to-door market research, this guy knocks on a door and is greeted by a beautiful young housewife.
"Hello," he starts, "I'm doing some research for a petroleum jelly manufacturer. Have you ever used the product?"
"Yes. My husband and I use it during se-x," she answers.
The researcher is taken aback.
"Um, er, I admire you for your honesty," he continues. "Can you tell me exactly how you use it?"
"Sure, we put it on the doorknob so the kids can't get in."

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Men vs Women Jokes Parent Jokes Sex Jokes

Q: How is a casino like a woman?
A: Liquor in the front, poker in the back.

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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes

Two bored casino dealers were waiting at the craps tables for players when a gorgeous blonde lady walked in and asked if they minded if she bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nакеd."
With that, she stripped off all her clothes and then rolled the dice while yelling "Come on baby, momma needs new clothes!"
She then jumped up and down, hugging each of the casino dealers while yelling "YES, I WIN! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, I WIN!!"
With that, she picked up her winnings and clothes and quickly left.
The dealers stood there staring at each other dumbfounded, until one finally asked the other, "What the hеll did she roll anyway?" The second dealer answered, "I thought you were paying attention!"

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Blonde Jokes Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Single People Jokes

Two people are on opposite sides of a lake.
One yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?"
"You are on the other side," the other shouts back.

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

Q: What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket?
A: A rebel without a clue.

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Men vs Women Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Beauty Jokes

I just had an argument with a girl I know.
She was saying how that it's unfair that if a guy fuскs a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fuскs just two guys in a year, she's a sluт.
So in response, I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key.
But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shiттy lock.
That shut her up.

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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes Sex Jokes Communication Jokes

Q: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.

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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Q: How do you get your wife to scream and groan while you're having sеx?
A: Let her catch you doing it.

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Men vs Women Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes

One day Mom was cleaning Junior's room and in the closet she found a воndаgе S&M magazine.
This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his Father got home and showed it to him.
He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word. So she asked him, "What should we do about this?"
Dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him."

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Men vs Women Jokes Kids Jokes

A college math professor and his wife are both 60 years old.
One evening the wife comes home and finds a note from her husband that says, "My dear, now that you are 60 years old, there are some things you no longer do for me. I am at the Holiday Inn with my 20-year-old student. Don't bother waiting up for me." He returns home late that night to find a note from his wife: "You, my dear, are also 60 years old and there are also things I need that you're not giving me. So I am at the Motel 6 with one of your 20-year-old students. Being a math professor, I'm sure you know that 20 goes into 60 way more than 60 goes into 20. So, don't you wait up for me."

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Men vs Women Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Old People Jokes College jokes Math Jokes School Jokes