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Men vs Women Jokes

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What do you call a doll on fire?
A Barbie-Q!
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Men vs Women Jokes Dark Humor Jokes
What do you call a smart blonde?
A Golden Retriever.
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Как се нарича умната блондинка? Паметна плавуша Eine intelligente Blondine What do you call a blonde with a brain? A golden retriever. Hvad kalder du en intelligent blondine? – En Golden Retriever. Hva kalles en smart blondine? Svar: Golden Retriver. Miksi kutsutaan viisasta blondia? - Kultaiseksi noutajaksi Het is blond en slim? Een golden retreiver - Vad kallar man en smart blondin? - Golden retriever. Vad kallar man en smart blondin? Golden retriever En indikation på att man är alldeles för full Falsk
Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes
Q. How do men define a long-term relationship?
A. A second date.
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Relationship Jokes Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes
Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?
When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
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Η Ψυχανάλυση Знаете ли защо психолозите предпочитат да работят с мъже, вместо с жени? Почему психологам проще работать с мужчинами, чем с женщинами? ¿Por qué el psicoanálisis es más breve para el hombre que para la mujer?. Porque os psicanalistas são mais rápidos no tratamento dos homens do que nas mulheres? Porque enquanto as mulheres têm que regredir até a infância, os homens já estão lá. Weshalb geht eine Psychoanalyse bei Männern schneller als bei Frauen? - Wenn es darum geht, in die Kindheit zurückzugehen, haben die meisten Männer nicht weit. Por que a psicanálise é mais rápida para os homens ? Porque quando dizem para ele voltar à infância, ele já está lá ! Pourquoi une psychanalyse dure moins longtemps pour un homme ? Pas besoin de régresser en enfance, c'est déjà fait. Pourquoi est-ce que la psychanalyse des hommes est plus rapide que celle des femmes ? - Parce qu'il s'agit de remonter dans l'enfance, et avec les hommes, on y est déjà. Proč je rychlejší psychoanalýza u muže? Protože když se chce doktor dostat do jeho dětství, tak už je tam. Dlaczego psychoanaliza mężczyzn jest szybsza od psychoanalizy kobiet? - Dlatego, że chodzi w niej o powrót do dzieciństwa, a mężczyźni już tam są. Varför går en psykisk analys mycket snabbare för män än för kvinnor? - När det är dags att gå tillbaka till barndomen är männen redan där.
Relationship Jokes Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes
A Woman asks a Waiter What is this fly doing in my Ice cream?
The waiter says,
"Shivering madam".
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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes
I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes
A burglar breaks into a house and is quietly and expertly collecting valuables in his bag when he hears a voice:
"Jesus is watching you."
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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes
My sister was with two men in one night.
She could hardly walk after that.
Can you imagine?
Two dinners!
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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar.
They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together.
They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears.
Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall.
The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her.
She turns to him…they kiss…then they rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night.
After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?”
The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”
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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Animal Jokes Men jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes
Sатаn appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away.Soon everyone was gone except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly.
Satan walked up to him and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."Sатаn asked, "Aren't you going to run?"
"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.Sатаn asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."
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Men vs Women Jokes Religion jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes
Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 20. One to change the bulb and 19 to make a documentary about it.
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Men vs Women Jokes Customer service jokes Light bulb jokes
An old woman buys herself some bright red crotchless раnтiеs and goes home to surprise her husband.
When her husband comes home, she calls him into the bedroom and points to her new раnтiеs. "Hey old timer," she says, "come and get some of this!"
The old man says, "Неll no, woman. It done ate a hole in your drawers!"
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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes
How do you make a woman blind?
Put a windshield in front of her!
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Insult Jokes Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Asian jokes
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced.
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Divorce Jokes Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes
Girl: why am I still single?
Brain: you're weird as shiт.
Body: and you're fат.
Face: plus you're pretty ugly.
Food: Don't worry ваве, I'm here for you.
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Single People Jokes Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Food Jokes Fat Jokes
How do you know if your man is dead?
The sеx is the same, but there's less ironing.
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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes
Jose approaches the Mexican border on his bicycle.
Hanging from his shoulders he has two large, bulky bags.
The border patrol guard stops him and says,"Hey mister what ya got in those bags?"
"Just sand," replied Jose.
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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes
Men are like guns.
Keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.
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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes
This black woman was vastly overweight, and I mean MASSIVE and she went to see the doctor about her weight.
She said to him, "Have you got any dieting remedies or anything that can help me loose weight?"
The doctor replies,
"Yes we do, all you need to do is shake your head from left too right, simple eh?!"
She says,
"WOW that's amazing, um... when do I do it?"
The doctor says,
"Next time your ordered food."
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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Food Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes
A guy was going to Texas and when he went on the train he said,
"Ohh my god Texas chairs are really big."
He went to a bar he asked for a bear and when the bar tender gave him the mug of bear the guy said,
"Wooww Texas mugs are really big."
Later he asked the bar tender were is the bathroom and the bar tender said,
"Strait on your right."
But the guy went on his left and when he entered the room he slipped and feel in the swimming pool and said,
"Don't flush don't flush!"
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Men vs Women Jokes God Jokes Men jokes
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