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One-Liner Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
To me, drinking responsively means don't spill it.
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За мен, "да внимавам с алкохола" означава да не го разливам
Drinking and Drunk Jokes One-Liner Jokes
What do you get when you wake up on a workday and realize you ran out of coffee?
A depresso.
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One-Liner Jokes Coffee Jokes
Why are eggs not very much into jokes?
Because they could сrаск up.
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One-Liner Jokes Bad Jokes
What do you call the soft tissue between a shark's teeth?
A slow swimmer.
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Как се нарича меката тъкан между зъбите на голяма бяла акула?
Dark Humor Jokes One-Liner Jokes
I went to see the doctor about my short-term memory problems.
The first thing the ваsтаrd did was made me pay in advance.
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Разказах на психолога че ме мъчат мисли за самоубийство. Помнење Patient to friend: "I saw the doctor to day about my loss of memory." When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance. - Doctor, doctor, tengo tendencias suicidas, ¿Qué hago? - Pues, ¡Págueme ahora mismo! Рассказал своему психологу про возникшие мысли о суициде. - Docteur, Docteur, j'ai des pertes de mémoire, que puis je faire ? Le docteur lui répond : - Et bien, payez moi d'avance ! - Docteur, j'ai des trous de memoire, que dois-je faire ? - Me payer d'avance, madame ! Συζητούν δυο Πόντιοι -Γιατρέ πάσχω από αμνησία. "Dottore, soffro di continue amnesie" "Le spiace pagarmi la visita in anticipo?" O sujeito no médico:
One-Liner Jokes
Women usually claim childbirth is the most painful experience of their lives.
Until they start stepping on Legos approximately three years later.
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One-Liner Jokes
- Does your horse smoke?
- No.
- Well, then I think your stable is burning.
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Съседе, свинете ти пушат ли? - Комшу, твоите прасета пушат ли? Штала Un atlante le dice a otro: ¡Oye Paxti! ¿Tus vacas fuman? No, contesta el primero. ¡Pues corre, porque se te quema el establo! Papá, ¿las vacas fuman? ¡No, hijo! ¡Entonces, se está quemando el establo! Va pasando un granjero y le pregunta a uno que esta sentado: Señor, ¿Sus vacas fuman? Y el hombre contesta: No, mis vacas no fuman, ¿Por qué usted me pregunta eso? Ah, pues si sus vacas no fuman se... Das rauchende Pferd Raucht das Pferd? "Eugen, rauchen deine Kühe?" - "Nein Karl." - "Dann brennt dein Stall." Lazlar kahvede otururken bir arkadaşları içeri girmiş : - Temel, ineklerinden pipo içen var mı ? - Yok. - O zaman ahırın yanıyor - Миколо, твоя корова курить? — Куме, ваша корова курить? — Та ні куме! — Ну тоді у вас сарай горить! Ryger dine køer? To bondemænd står og snakker. Den ene: Ryger dine køer? Den anden: Nej. Den ene: Så er der ild i din lade. La inmormantarea unei babe, cand se cobora sicriul in groapa, o coroana aluneca si da sa cada dupa sicriu. O alta babuta se grabeste sa o prinda si se aude din spate un tanar: - Ce faci mamaie,...
One-Liner Jokes
Barkeep: I’m sorry, we never serve time travelers.
A time traveler walks into a bar.
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One-Liner Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes
I don’t think women should be allowed to have kids after 40. 40 kids is way too much by any standard.
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One-Liner Jokes
What is Jesus' favorite food? Cheeses.
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One-Liner Jokes Fitness jokes
What is sticky and brown? A stick!
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Kids Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Losing a wife can be very tough. Some may even say impossible.
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Момченце пита баща си; - Татко! Как мислиш, тежко ли е да изгубиш жена си? - Много тежко, синко. Практически абсолютно невъзмохно, но аз все още не губя надежда Losing a wife can be hard. In most cases, it’s damned near impossible. At miste sin kone kan være vanskeligt I mit tilfælde var de nærmest umuligt!
Marriage and Family Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Two snails are chatting on the sidewalk. “I’ll have to cross the road,” says one.
“Well, be careful,” says the other one, “there’s a bus coming in an hour.“
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Animal Jokes One-Liner Jokes
A man drops his phone on a concrete floor. The phone is fine, no damage. How come?
He had it on airplane mode.
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Нормално ли е телефонът ми да лети само около 25 метра в самолетен режим? Изпуснах си телефона от пети етаж, а долу - паркинг. Ама нищо му нямаше - бях го сложил в самолетен режим. My iPhone fell from the 20th floor. Ist es normal, dass mein Handy auch im Flugzeugmodus nicht weiter als 25 Meter fliegt? Hier, j'ai jeté mon téléphone par la fenêtre et il s'est cassé en tombant par terre, pourtant il était en mode avion!
One-Liner Jokes Aviation Jokes
What do you get when you cross-breed a соw and a shark?
I don’t know, but I wouldn't enjoy milking it.
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One-Liner Jokes
Meanwhile in a parallel universe: “Oh for God’s sake! Where are all these extra single socks coming from?!”
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One-Liner Jokes
What is pointless? To tell a bald guy a hair-raising story.
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One-Liner Jokes
What do you call a bull that likes taking a nap? A bulldozer!
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One-Liner Jokes
Why do bees hum? They don't remember the text!
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One-Liner Jokes
What happens to mountains when they touch each other?
Answer: Nothing.
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One-Liner Jokes
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