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One-Liner Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A: Take away his credit card.
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Animal Jokes One-Liner Jokes
What do a walrus and tupperware have in common?
They both like a tight seal!
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Animal Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Me: I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present.
Cop: You ARE the lawyer.
Lawyer: So where’s my present?
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Judge and Court Jokes One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes
It doesn´t matter if the glass is half empty or half full. There is clearly room for more alcohol.
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Drinking and Drunk Jokes One-Liner Jokes Wine jokes
BLONDE: "Excuse me sir, what time is it?"
MAN: "It's 3:15."
BLONDE: (puzzled look) "You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Food Jokes One-Liner Jokes Phone jokes
A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
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After Sunday school, the teacher released the kids to go to church and reminded them, "You all know to be very nice and quiet in the church. And why is that?"  Little Johnny offers, "Miss, it's so we wouldn't wake all those people sleeping." Q: Why do we have to be quiet in church? A: Because people are sleeping! Lezione di catechismo. L’insegnante chiede ai bambini: “Lo sapete perché bisogna fare silenzio in chiesa?” Pierino, prontissimo: “Sì, perché la gente sta dormendo!” Sekmadieninės mokyklos mokytoja paklausė savo vaikų, beeinančių į bažnyčios susirinkimą: „Kodėl bažnyčioje būtina laikytis tylos?“ Viena guvi mergaitė atsakė: „Nes ten visi miega“.
Church jokes Religion jokes School Jokes Kids Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Sеx is not the answer. Sеx is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
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Sex Jokes One-Liner Jokes
What do women and Slinkies have in common?
Not really too much, but you can't help but сrаск a smile when one tumbles down the stairs.
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Dark Humor Jokes Jokes about Women One-Liner Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Morbid jokes
When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Q: How do you make holy water?
A: You boil the hеll out of it.
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Religion jokes Sports Jokes One-Liner Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Science jokes Catholic Jokes Christian Jokes Heaven And Hell Jokes
** What do you throw to a drowning lawyer? His partners. ** What happens when you cross a pig with a lawyer? Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
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Lawyer Jokes One-Liner Jokes
What did the blonde mother say to the blonde daughter? "If you're not in bed by 12, you can come home!"
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Какво казва майката на една блондинка на дъщеря си преди първата й среща с момче? Μητρική συμβουλή !!! Συμβουλή πρίν απο το ραντεβού Ξανθιά μαμά - ξανθιά κόρη. Qu'est-ce que dit une maman à sa fille blonde qui s'apprête à sortir ? Какво казва майката на дъщеря си блондинка, която излиза вечерта: Was sagt die Mutter der Blondine ihrer Tochter vor dem ersten Date? "Wenn Du vor 12 nicht im Bett bist, komm nach Hause!" Συμβουλή ξανθιάς μαμάς στην ξανθιά κόρη πριν την έξοδό της... Αν μέχρι τις 11:00 δεν είσαι στο κρεβάτι να γυρίσεις σπίτι. Was sagt eine Blondine am Samstagabend um 23 Uhr? "Wenn ich um 23:30 Uhr nicht im Bett bin, gehe ich nach Hause." Quel est le conseil que donne la mère d'une blonde à sa fille quand elle sort le soir ? Ma fille, si tu n'es pas couchée avant minuit, rentres à la maison !!! Vad gör blondinen om hon inte är i säng före 12? Tar sin handväska och går hem Co powiedziała mama do blondynki przed jej randką? - Jeśli nie będziesz w łóżku przed północą, wracaj do domu. Cosa ha detto la mamma della bionda a suo figlia prima che quest’ultima andasse ad un appuntamento ? Se non sei a letto per mezzanotte, torna a casa. Mitä äiti sanoi blondille, kun tämä oli lähdössä treffeille? - Jos et ole sängyssä klo 12:een mennessä, niin tule kotiin. Hvad sagde blondinens mor inden blondinens første date? - Hvis du ikke er i seng inden kl 24:00, så kom hjem. Vad gör en blondin som inte är i säng före midnatt? – Ger upp och går hem från krogen.
Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
If you're sad about being alone on Valentine's day, just remember... nobody loves you on the other days of the year either.
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Если 14 февраля тебе вдруг стало грустно от того, что тебе не с кем провести этот праздник, что тебя никто не любит и не обнимает - не расстраивайся, Ако си тъжен, защото си сам на Свети Валентин... не забравяй... Никой не те обича и през другите дни от годината също. Jei per Valentino dienos šventę esi vienas, nenusimink, tiesiog, tai reiškia, kad ir kitomis, paprastomis dienomis tavęs niekas nemyli.
One-Liner Jokes Valentine's Day Jokes
No woman will ever be truly satisfied on Valentines day because no man has a chocolate реnis wrapped in money that еjасulатеs diamonds.
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Valentine's Day Jokes Jokes about Women Money jokes Men jokes One-Liner Jokes Chocolate Jokes
I can't wait until Friday to celebrate valentines day... said no one ever.
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Valentine's Day Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Two blondes walking down the street. One reaches into her pocketbook for a make up compact and looks into the mirror.
"This picture looks like someone I know" she says. The other one has a look and says,
"Of course duммy, it's ME...."
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ...coincidence?
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В един ден има 24 часа, в една каса има 24 бири. Съвпадение ли е?
One-Liner Jokes Beer Jokes
Congrats to Lebron's fiance who now leads the family with one ring.
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Marriage and Family Jokes One-Liner Jokes
I go to school where students are higher than their grades.
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One-Liner Jokes School Jokes
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