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Programmer Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
The numeric keypad only goes up to six.
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Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes
When you don't really understand the code base but add a new feature anyway
When you don't really understand the code base but add a new feature anyway
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Programmer Jokes
Senior dev: How did you fix that production bug? Intern: Commented the code
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Programmer Jokes
A programmer: What people think i do,  what my parents think i o, what i think i do, what i really do
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Programmer Jokes Parent Jokes IT jokes
Non-zero value, 0, null and undefined
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Programmer Jokes
Server has crashed Were is the backup? On the server
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Programmer Jokes
Free Trial: "Enter your credit card information"
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Programmer Jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes
Your code is without a doubt the worst i have ever run! But it does run!
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Programmer Jokes
Give a man a program, frustrate him for a day.
Teach a man to program, frustrate him for a lifetime
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Programmer Jokes
Software engineers complaining about their job
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Програмистите, когато се оплакват от работата си
Programmer Jokes
Yesterday, Yesterday, All those backups seemed a waste of pay.
Now my database has gone away.
Oh I believe in yesterday.
Suddenly,
There"s not half the files there used to be,
And there"s a milestone hanging over me
The system crashed so suddenly.
I pushed something wrong
What it was I could not say.
Now all my data"s gone and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay.
Yesterday,
The need for back-ups seemed so far away.
I knew my data was all here to stay,
Now I believe in yesterday.
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Programmer Jokes
Q: How many IT guys does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
A: None, that's a Facilities problem.
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Office and Work Jokes Kids Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Feminist Jokes Light bulb jokes
Q: How can you tell a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out all over the screen.
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Comment faire pour savoir qu'une blonde a travaillé sur un ordinateur? Il y a du liquide correcteur sur l'écran. Η ξανθιά στον υπολογιστή
Technology Jokes Blonde Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes One-Liner Jokes
A woman arrives at the Pearly Gates and finds St. Peter is not there, but a computer terminal is sitting next to the arch.
She walks up to it and sees, "Welcome to www.Heaven.com. Please enter your User ID and Password to continue."
She doesn't have either, but underneath the fields is a small line reading:
"Forgot your ID or Password? Click Here." So she does.
Up pops a screen that reads, "Please enter at least two of the following, and your pasword and ID will be e-mailed to you." The fields included "Name," "Date of birth," "Date of death," and "Favorite Food."
The woman enters her name and date of birth, and clicks "Submit."
Up pops another screen that reads, "We are sorry, we did not find a match in our database. Would you like to register?" So the woman clicks the button marked "Yes."
A long and detailed form appears on the screen, and the woman spends some time filling it out. Then she clicks the "Submit" button.
Now she is faced with a screen reading, "We are sorry, this service is temporarily unavailable. Please try again later."
There is a button marked "Back." She clicks it.
A new page appears.
It reads, "Welcome to www.Purgatory.com. Please enter your User ID and Password to continue..."
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Technology Jokes Programmer Jokes
What was Forrest Gump's email password?
1forrest1
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Technology Jokes Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
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Оптимистите твърдят, че чашата е наполовина пълна. optimist,pessimist,engineer - Para el optimista, el vaso está medio lleno. - Para el pesimista, el vaso está medio vacío. - Para el ingeniero, el vaso es el doble de grande de lo que debería ser. El Optimista ve la botella medio llena El pesimista medio vacía Y el ingeniero ve que la botella tiene el doble de tamaño del necesario para esta solución particular. Der Optimist: "Das Glas ist halb voll" Der Pessimist: "Das Glas ist halb leer" Der Ingenieur: "Das Glas ist doppelt so groß wie es sein müsste" Pour une personne optimiste, le verre est à moitié plein. Pour une personne pessimiste, il est à moitié vide. Pour l'informaticien, il est deux fois plus grand que nécessaire.
Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Engineer Jokes
A programmer is just a тооl which converts caffeine into code
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Programmer Jokes
Q: What do computers eat for a snack?
A: Microchips!
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Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Science jokes
Ready for the only way to enjoy Instagram? Follow zero people. Follow every dog.
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Programmer Jokes Social Network Jokes
In a software design meeting, we were using typical technical jargon to discuss a data exchange interface with a vendor.

One co-worker said the programming we had ordered was delayed because the vendor was suffering from a "severe non-linear waterfowl issue."

Curious, the team leader raised his eyebrows and asked, "What exactly is that?"

The programmer replied, "They don't have all their ducks in a row."
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Office and Work Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes
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