School jokes, Teacher Jokes

Chuck Norris got into Cambridge... without any qualifications.

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Teacher:
"Name five things that contain milk."
Pupil:
"Butter, cheese, ice cream … and two cows."

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Animal Jokes School Jokes Food Jokes

Did you hear about the boy who was told to do 100 lines?
He drew 100 cats on the paper.
He thought the teacher had said lions.

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Animal Jokes School Jokes

Yo mama so fат when she walked out in August in her yellow sun dress and the kids said mommy its time for school.

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School Jokes Kids Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

Wilfred had just learned his abc's and was very scared of doing them in front of the class.
The teacher, though, told him that the best way to conquer his fears would be to just go ahead and do it.
So, trembling, he stood in front of the class and began.
"Abcdefghijlkmnoqrstuvwxyz."
"Very good, Wilfred. But you forgot the P. Where's the P?
"It's running down my leg."

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Kids Jokes School Jokes

A grandmother was pushing her little grandchild around Wal- Mart in a buggy.
Each time she put something in the basket she would say, "And here’s something for you, Diploma." or "This will make a cute little outfit for you, Diploma." and so on.
Eventually a bewildered shopper who’d heard all this finally asked,
"Why do you keep calling your grandchild Diploma?"
The grandmother replied, "I sent my daughter to the University of Virginia and this is what she came home with!"

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Kids Jokes School Jokes Grandparent Jokes

Noticing a mistake in St. Peter's roster, God calls Sатаn; "It seems you accidentally received some of my professionals down there: a teacher, a doctor and a farmer."
"Yeah," Sатаn replies. "All the more for me!"
God replies, "You better send them up here immediately."
Satan says, "No way. I'm keeping them."
God says, "Send them up here, or I'll sue the horns right off you."
Satan laughs uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"

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Office and Work Jokes School Jokes God Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Lawyer Jokes

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited when she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said "From 2-4 years."

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School Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Q: Why did the married man sell his complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica?
A: He didn't need them any longer - his dамn wife knows everything.

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School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes

Boy: The principal is so dumb!
Girl: Do you know who I am?
Boy: No...
Girl: I am the principal's daughter!
Boy: Do you know who I am?
Girl: No...
Boy: Good! *Walks away*

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School Jokes College jokes Management Jokes Vulgar jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes

A school bus driver stopped the vehicle to take little George out.
The kid opened the door and saw his grandmother reaching her hands to grab him.
The driver though, to make sure that that person is really a family member, asks the kid.
"Is this really your grandmother?"
"Yes. She visits every Christmas!"
"Very good! And when she stays at he rest of the year?" the driver insists.
"At the airport!," says the kid and continues, "Whenever we feel like, we go there and we take her home..."

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Christmas Jokes School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Aviation Jokes Grandparent Jokes

“If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up” said the sarcastic teacher.
After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.
“Now then, mister, why do you consider yourself an idiот?” enquired the teacher with a sneer.
“Well, actually I don’t,” said the student, “but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself.”

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Little Johnny Jokes School Jokes

Yo mama is so sтuрid that when a teacher told the class nobody is perfect, he replied, "I want to become nobody!"

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Communication Jokes School Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Stupid Jokes

"If we don't change the direction we're going, we're likely to end up at the wrong end."
"People who go out of their way to help others have great taste."
"An eye for an eye leaves everybody blind, but not hungry."
"Don't give up though the pace seems slow, you may succeed at another morgue."
"A journey of a hundred trillion cells begins with a single nibble."
"The only difference between a big shot and a little shot is that the big shot takes longer to chew."
"It's all right to have little butterflies in your stomach. In fact, I'd say a trip to the elementary school play is a wonderful idea."
"You don't know what your appetite can get away with until you try. Or are tried."
"If you carry your childhood with you, you should probably go the bathroom soon."
"Never keep up with Joneses. Have them over for dinner."
"Let your hook always be cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be a very startled swimmer."

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Single People Jokes Gross Jokes Sports Jokes School Jokes Food Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

Little Johnny was always late for school.
When asked why he said he had to eat his popsicle.
Without thinking the teacher told him to eat half his popsicle and save the other half in his pocket.
Next day Johnny was on time.
The teacher had history class.
"What are the people in Asia called", she asked a student.
"Asians", said the student.
"What are the people in Africa called".
"Africans" said the student.
Then she asked Johnny, "What are the people in Europe called", but Johnny didn't know so the girl behind him whispered, "Euro pean."
To that Johnny said, "No I'm not, that's just my popsicle."

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Food Jokes Asian jokes Africa Jokes Europe and European Union Jokes

How did the Vikings send secret messages?
By norse code!
Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opneder?
He had a bee in his suit of armour!
Teacher: Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is?
Pupil: I expect it’s around Hadrian’s garden miss!
Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
Because there were so many knights!

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History Jokes Kids Jokes School Jokes

Johnny comes home from school and asks his mom what is a "period".
His mom says that "A period is when a woman needs to realease her dead egg cells".
Johnny asks what color is it.
She says it's red.
Johnny said "I have one of those but mine is white and it makes babies."

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Baby Jokes Jokes about Women School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Dirty jokes

Teacher: Billy, how do you spell "Crocodile"?
Billy: ‘K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
Teacher: No, that's wrong
Billy: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!

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Kids Jokes School Jokes Animal Jokes

Teacher: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father: No. Why do you ask that?
Teacher: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?

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School Jokes Dad Jokes

Nigel, a college student is talking to a friend.
‘Y’ know,’ he says.
‘I think my room-mate is quееr.’ ‘Why d’you say that?’ asks the student.
‘Well,’ replies Nigel.
‘Every time I kiss him goodnight he shuts his eyes.’

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Sex Jokes Friendship Jokes School Jokes