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School Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
Q. Why are fish so smart?
Q. Why are fish so smart
A. Because they swim in schools!
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School Jokes Animal Jokes
You''re so ugly, when yo'' mama dropped you off at school, she got a ticket for littering!
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School Jokes Yo Momma Jokes
"Mommy, all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?"
"No, of course not. Now shut up and comb your face."
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Gross Jokes School Jokes Kids Jokes Animal Jokes
A teacher asks her students if they're Yankees fans. All of the hands go up except for one student.
"Okay, Bobby. What team are you a fаn of?"
"The Red Sox."
"Why's that?"
"Well, my parents are both Red Sox fans, so I'm a Red Sox fаn too."
"That's not a good answer, Bobby. If your parents were both morons, would you be a моrоn too?"
"No, that would make me a Yankees fаn!"
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Sports Jokes School Jokes Student jokes Soccer Jokes
Q: Why can't a blonde count to 70?
A: Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful.
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School Jokes Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes Math Jokes
Fred came home from his first day at school.
"Nothing exciting happened", he told his mother, "Except the teacher didn't know how to spell cat so I told her."
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School Jokes Animal Jokes
Dad:
"Can I see your report card, son?"
Son:
"I don't have it."
Dad:
"Why?"
Son:
"I gave it to my friend. He wanted to scare his parents."
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Баща пита сина си: - Иванчо, къде ти е бележника? Dad on the last day of school: So, where’s your school report, my boy? Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card." Johnny's father: "Let me see your report card." Johnny: "I don't have it." Johnny's father: "Why not?" Johnny: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents." - вовочка, где твой школьный дневник? - его колька взял. родителей... Kommt Fritzchen am letzten Schultag nach Hause. Fragt der Vater: "Warum hast du kein Zeugnis?" Mutter: "Wo ist dein Zeugnis?" Fritzchen: "Das hab ich einem Freund geborgt. Der will damit seinen Vater erschrecken." Le père de David s'étonne de ne pas avoir encore reçu le bulletin scolaire de son fils et lui en demande la raison : - Et ton bulletin il est pas encore arrivé? - Si, si mais je l'ai prêté a Paul... Joãozinho chega em casa e diz ao seu pai: — Pai, hoje recebi o meu boletim. — Então cade ele? — disse o pai. — Emprestei! — Mas por quê? — Porque meu amigo queria assustar o pai dele. Assim que Joãozinho chega da escola, o pai o interpela: — Quero ver o seu boletim! — Infelizmente não vai dar! — Como não vai dar? — É que eu emprestei para um amigo... ele queria dar um susto no pai dele! - Gdzie masz świadectwo? - pyta ojciec Jasia. - Pożyczyłem koledze, bo chciał nastraszyć swojego ojca. Mamma til Per: - Hvor er karakterboka di? - Ole låner den. - Hvorfor det? - For å skremme foreldrene sine.
School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Friendship Jokes Dad Jokes
John: Knock, knock.
Justin: Who’s there?
John: Gladys.
Justin: Gladys, who?
John: Gladys the weekend—no homework!
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School Jokes Knock-knock jokes
Little Johnny returns from school and says:
"Mam, in school we write dirтy swear-words so often!"
"But I hope you are not writing them, my son."
"No, I'm dictating them!"
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School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Little Johnny Jokes
The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson.
"Is the word spelt p-u-t or p-u-t-t?" she asked the instructor.
"P-u-t-t is correct," he replied.
"Put means to place a thing where you want it.
Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing."
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Sports Jokes School Jokes Golf jokes
How many schoolteachers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Anything not completed during the lesson is added to the homework.
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School Jokes
Teacher: Daniel, I’ve had to send you to the principal every day this week.
What do you have to say for yourself?
Daniel: I’m glad it’s Friday!
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School Jokes
Little Johnny took sеx ed and every day when little Johnny would come in from school he'll tell his dad for learning sеx ed well one day we'll just come in and he said that I got thrown out sеx ed Lil Johnny's daddy says how do you get thrown out sеx ed Little Johnny said well Dad I got in trouble for eating during class.
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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Food Jokes Sex Jokes Dad Jokes
When Chuck Norris was in kindergarden he made his teacher spit out her gum.
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School Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes
Chad: Why do magicians do so well in school?
Josh: I don’t know. Why?
Chad: They’re good at trick questions.
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School Jokes
In high school, teachers had to raise up their hand to speak to Chuck Norris.
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School Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes
How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?
That light bulb's never getting changed.
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School Jokes News and Politics Jokes Feminist Jokes Hipster Jokes Light bulb jokes
A middle aged woman was driving through a school zone when a policeman pulled her over for speeding.
As he was giving her the ticket, she said, “How come I always get a ticket and everyone else gets a warning?
Is it my face?”
“No, ma’am,” explained the officer, “it’s your foot.”
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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes School Jokes Police Officer Jokes
Chuck Norris didn't go to school to learn, he went to teach.
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School Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes
A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.
Little Johnny replied: "They couldn't get a baby sitter."
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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes
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