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A student at college had failed his final law papers and was obviously not happy, he questioned the professor & decided to make a deal with him 'professor, do u consider yourself to know everything about the law?
He asked. 'Absolutely, otherwise i would not be capable of standing in front of u & lecturing u on the subject' he replied. The student continued; if u can answer this question, I will agree with u & accept my final marks, if u cannot, u have to give me an 'A" the professor laughed but agreed.
The boy continued, 'what is legal but not logical, logical but not legal & neither legal nor logical?
The professor thought about it for hours and pondered no answer. He had to finally give up as he really did not know. He gave the boy his 'A' the following day at lecture, the professor was still struggling with dis unknown mystery & decided to pose the question to his students: class, what is legal but not logical, logical but not legal & neither legal nor logical?
He paused for a second in shock when all students raised their hands with a possible answer. He pointed out one student and waited:
"sir, u're 65, married to a 28 yr old woman, this is legal but not logical, ur wife, is having an affair with a 23 year old boy, this is logical but not legal, ur wife's boyfriend has failed his exam & yet u have given him an 'A'. That is neither logical nor legal".
The professor collapsed. --__--
A first-grade teacher, Miss Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of her students.
The teacher asked, "Boy what is your problem?"
Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My
sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is!
I think I should be in the third-grade too!"
Miss Neelam had enough. She took Boy to the Principal's
office. The principal told Miss Neelam he would give the
boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions
he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.
She agreed.
Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test:
Principal: "What is 3x3?"
Boy: "9"
Principal: "What is 6x6?"
Boy: "36"
And so it went with every question the principal
thought a third-grade should know. The principal
looks at Miss Neelam and tells her, "I think the boy can go
to the third-grade."
Miss Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of
my own questions. Can I ask him?" The principal and Boy both agreed.
Miss Neelam asks: "What does a соw have four of that I
have only two of?
Boy, after a moment: "Legs"!
Miss Neelam: "What is in your pants that you have but I don't have?"
Boy: "Pockets"!
Miss Neelam: "What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?"
Boy: Coconut
Miss Neelam: " What goes in hard and pink then comes
out soft and sticky?"
The Principal's eyes open really wide and before he
could stop the answer, Boy quickly answered..
Boy: Bubblegum
Miss Neelam: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"
The Principal's eyes again open really wide and before he could stop the answer....
Boy: Shake hands
Miss Neelam: "Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?"
Boy: "Yep"
Miss Neelam: "You stick Your poles inside me. You tie me
down to get me up.. I get wet before you do."
Boy: "Tent"
Miss Neelam: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me
when you're bored. The best man always has me first."
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took
one large Patiala Vоdка peg.
Boy: "Wedding Ring"
Miss Neelam: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I
drip. When you вlоw me, you feel good."
Boy: "Nose"
Miss Neelam: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver."
Boy: "Arrow"
Miss Neelam: "What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?"
Boy: "Firetruck"
Miss Neelam: "What word starts with a 'F' and ends in
'K' & if u don't get it u have to use your hand"
Boy: "Fork"
Miss Neelam: "What is it that all men have. It's longer for
some men than on others.
The nuns dont need it. The pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?"
Boy: "SURNAME"
Miss Neelam: "What part of the man has no воnе but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love?"
Boy: "HEART"
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the
teacher: "Send this Boy to University, I got the last ten questions
wrong myself!"
A black boy comes home from school, looking sad. His mother asks him if anything happened at school. The boy replies that they had a math test, and that the white boys solved almost all their problems, while he got almost all of his problems wrong. Is this because he is sтuрid, the boy wonders. His mother replies that it's not because of stupidity, it's because he is disadvantaged.
The boy doesn't get what this means, but is satisfied anyway.
A few days later the boy comes home with the same problem yet again. This time it was an english test, and he had almost every question wrong, while the white boys had almost every question right. Again, his mother explains that this is a result of him being disadvantaged.
He is satisfied with this answer and goes on his way.
Yet a few more days pass, and the black boy comes home one day with a beaming smile. His mother asks what happened at school to get him in such a fine mood, and the boy answers that all of the boys measured their penises in the locker room after gym class. All the white boys had really small penises, while his was huge. Was this also a product of him being disadvantaged?
His mother answers: "Nooo son, that's because all the little white boys are seven, and you are thirty-five!!"
A class is being taught when Bill Clinton walks in. He asks the class, " What is a tragedy?"
One kid, named Jim, raises his hand and says, “if my family and I got ran over by a truck, that would be a tragedy.” Bill Clinton replies, “That would be an accident, not a tragedy.” A couple of seconds later, Audrey raises her hand and says, “If a school shooting would happen and 10 kids died, that would be a tragedy.” Bill Clinton replies once again with: “That would be a great loss, not a tragedy.” All of the kids are confused now when all of a sudden Matthew says “If you and Hillary Clinton were on an airplane and it got blown up, that would be a tragedy!"
"Yes!” Says Bill Clinton “How do you know?” Matthew says happily, “It is definitely not an accident, and certainly not a great loss!”
