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Science jokes

Newest jokes in this category
Q: How do you make seven an even number?
A: Take the s out!
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Science jokes Math Jokes
Two guys were working at a sawmill one day when one of the guys got too close to the blade and cut off his arm.
His buddy put the severed arm in a plastic bag and rushed it down to the hospital to get re-attached.
The next day he goes to see his chum, and finds him playing tennis.
"Incredible!," says his friend.
"Medical science is amazing."
Another month goes by and the same two guys are again at the sawmill working when the same guy gets too close to the spinning blade and this time his leg gets cut off.
Again his buddy takes the leg, puts it in a plastic bag and takes it to the hospital to get re-attached.
The next day, he goes down to see his chum and finds him outside playing football.
"Incredible!," says his friend.
"Medical science is amazing!"
Well another month goes by and again the same two friends are at the mill cutting wood when suddenly the same guy bends down too close to the blade and off comes his head.
Well his friend takes the head, puts it in a plastic bag, and heads to the hospital to get it re-attached.
The next day he goes to see his friend but can't find him.
He sees the doctor walking down the hall and says, "Doc, where is my friend? I brought him in yesterday."
The doctor thinks for a minute and says, "Oh yeah, some idiот put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated."
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Dark Humor Jokes Office and Work Jokes Gross Jokes Sports Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Science jokes Friendship Jokes Soccer Jokes
Dear Maths,
Please grow up now and solve you problems yourself.
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Science jokes Math Jokes
Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination.
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Science jokes Math Jokes
Q: Did you hear that joke about the infinite line?
A: Don’t worry, It doesn’t have a point!
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Science jokes Math Jokes
"Why are you studying your Easter candy?"
"I'm trying to decide which came first-the chocolate chicken or the chocolate egg!"
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Chocolate Jokes Food Jokes Science jokes Easter Jokes
Chuck Norris once stuck a fork in a toaster and the toaster got electrocuted.
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Technology Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Science jokes
Substituting Rats for Lawyers Anwälte ersetzen Ratten Two Scientists were working late discussing ideas about behavior modification studies. Porque razon los cientificos ocupan cada vez mas abogados que ratas en sus experimentos ? 1) Hay mas abogados que ratas. 2) Nadie va a reclamar porque mates un abogado de mas. 3) La anatomia de los... I USA kommer man att börja använda advokater som försöksdjur i stället för råttor. Det blir inga protester för det är ingen som tycker att advokater är gulliga... Det finns alldeles för många. De... - O Instituo Pasteur anunciou que eles não vão mais usar ratos em experiências médicas. No lugar dos ratos, eles vão usar advogados. Eles tiveram três razoes para tomar esta decisão: - 1. Existem... I Californien er man begyndt at bruge advokater som forsøgsdyr i stedet for rotter. Det er der 3 grunde til: 1. Der er flere advokater end rotter 2. Det er ikke alt, man kan få rotter til 3. Der er... В Калифорния започнаха да използват адвокати като експериментални животни вместо плъхове, поради 2 причини: 1. Имат повече адвокати, отколкото плъхове 2. Няма риск лабораторните техници да се... Miksi tiedemiehet käyttävät kokeissaan rottia asianajajien asemasta? Rotilla on inhimmillisempi katse.
Q: Why have scientists started using lawyers for experiments instead of rats?
A: They don't become so attached to the lawyers.
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Office and Work Jokes Insult Jokes Science jokes Lawyer Jokes
Q:Why do they never serve вееr at a math party?
A:Because you can't drink and derive...
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Science jokes Math Jokes Beer Jokes
Transformers are just another name for Chuck Norris' grade 5 science project.
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Science jokes Chuck Norris Jokes
Too sтuрid to understand science?
Try religion!
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Science jokes Religion jokes Life Jokes
E only equals MC² because Chuck Norris allows it too.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Science jokes
I love math - it makes people cry.
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Science jokes Math Jokes
Yo' Mama is so fат, NASA used her to plug a black hole.
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Yo Momma Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Science jokes Fat Jokes Black People Jokes
A mathematician, physicist and economist after Titanic crash on uninhabited island in the middle of Atlantic ocean.
Starving to death they found a can of roastbeef.
They start debating how to open the can without can-opener.
Mathematician suggests to drop the can from the cliff to open it.
Physicist proposes to heat the can on bonfire.
Economist: "Let's suppose the can is opened...."
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Science jokes Math Jokes Sick and Death Jokes
DEPT OF STATISTICS:
All grades are plotted along the normal веll curve.
DEPT OF PSYCHOLOGY:
Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in.
The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind.
DEPT OF HISTORY:
All students get the same grade they got last year.
DEPT OF RELIGION:
Grade is determined by God.
DEPT OF PHILOSOPHY:
What is a grade?
LAW SCHOOL:
Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A.
DEPT OF MATHEMATICS:
Grades are variable.
DEPT OF LOGIC:
If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A.
DEPT OF COMPUTER SCIENCE:
Random number generator determines grade.
MUSIC DEPARTMENT:
Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and - would be sharp and flat respectively).
DEPT OF PHYSICAL EDUCATION:
Everybody gets an A.
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God Jokes Religion jokes School Jokes Science jokes Math Jokes History Jokes Philosophy Jokes
"And so, God came forth and proclaimed widescreen is the best"
Sony 16:9
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God Jokes Technology Jokes Science jokes Bible Jokes
There was this biologist who was doing some experiments with frogs.
He was measuring just how far frogs could jump.
So he puts a frog on a line and says "Jump frog, jump!"
The frog jumps 2 feet.
He writes in his lab book:
"Frog with 4 legs – jumps 2 feet."
Next he chops off one of the legs and repeats the experiment.
"Jump frog jump!" he says.
The frog manages to jump 1.5 feet.
So he writes in his lab book:
"Frog with 3 legs – jumps 1.5 feet."
He chops off another and the frog only jumps 1 foot.
He writes in his book:
"Frog with 2 legs jumps 1 foot."
He continues and removes yet another leg.
"Jump frog jump!" and the frog somehow jumps a half of a foot.
So he writes in his lab book again:
"Frog with one leg – jumps 0.5 feet."
Finally he chops off the last leg.
He puts the frog on the line and teels it to jump.
"Jump frog, jump!"
The frog doesn’t move.
"Jump frog, jump!"
Again the frog stays on the line.
"Come on frog, jump!"
But to no avail.
The biologist finally writes in his book:
"Frog with no legs – goes deaf."
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Animal Jokes Science jokes
What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievment?
An IN-body experience!
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Blonde Jokes Science jokes
Q: Why did the Atheist cross the road?
A: He thought there might be a street on the other side, but he wouldn't believe it until he tested his hypothesis.
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Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes Science jokes Atheist Jokes
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