Office and Work Jokes

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What do you call ?
A Sindhi lawyer?
Case-wani
A Sindhi lawyer after a case?
Purse-wani
A blue-skier Sindhi?
Akash-wani
What is a communist Sindhi called?
Lalwani.
What is a Sindhi who falls from the first floor called?
Thadani.
What is a Sindhi who falls from the 17th. floor called?
Kriplani.
What is a Sindhi who falls from the 30th. floor called?
Marjani.
What is the most noteworthy contribution of the Sindhis’ to Hindustani Music? Raga Kirvani.
A God fearing Sindhi?
Bhagwandas Godwani
A Sindhi painter?
Sadarangani A
Sindhi chef?
Papadmull Kukreja
A Sindhi electrician?
Voltram Bijlani A
A fashionable Sindhi?
Jogio Armani
A Sindhi milkman?
Gopal Dudeja
A heroic Sindhi soldier?
Hiroo Sipahimalani
A Sindhi реsт control contractor?
Khatmull Marwani
A Sindhi stripper working in New York?
Barbra Jhangiani
A Sindhi casanova?
Prem Kissinchandani
A Sindhi fire-engine?
Bhambhani
A Sindhi detergent?
Neelam Rindani
A Sindhi postman?
Mailwani
A forgetful Sindhi?
Bulo Bhulchandani
A fashionable Sindhi?
Primlani
A fат Sindhi?
Hathiramani
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My wife and I went on vacation to a fishing resort. I liked to fish at the сrаск of dawn. My wife liked to read. One morning I returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap. Although my wife wasn't familiar with the lake, she decided to take the boat and enjoy the beautiful morning on the water. So she took the boat out a short distance, anchored, and returned to reading her book. Along came the sheriff in his boat. He pulled up alongside my wife and said, “Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?”
“Reading my book,” my wife replied, “Isn't it obvious?”
“You're in a restricted fishing area,” he informed her.
“But officer, I'm not fishing. Can't you see that?”
“Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.”
“If you do that, I'll have to charge you with rаре,” snapped my irate wife.
“But, I haven't even touched you,” groused the sheriff.
“Yes, that's true,” she replied with a slight smile, “But you do have all the equipment.”
MORAL: Never argue with a redhead.
Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes
Definitions...
Marriage:
It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Lecture:
An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either.
Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!
Dictionary:
A place where divorce comes before marriage.
Conference room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Classic:
A book which people praise, but never read.
Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight!
Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Etc:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience:
The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom bomb:
An invention to bring an end to all inventions.
Diplomat:
A person who tells you to go to hеll in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Opportunist:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Miser:
A person who lives poor so that he/she can die rich.
Criminal:
A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught.
Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and then shakes your confidence later.
Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and then kills you by his bills.
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A man walks into a bar, late one night completely worn out and dripping with sweat and orders 5 whiskies. … …
…
“What’s wrong with you?” The barman says. …
…
“In my car I’ve got a nymphomaniac - you couldn’t satisfy her if you were there ’til Christmas,” he replies. …
…
“We’ll see about that,” says the barman and goes out to the parking lot. …
…
He has been in the car with the woman for a while when there is a knock on the window and a policeman shines his flashlight in. The barman jumps up and winds down the window to talk to the policeman. “It’s all right officer, I’m just shаgging the wife,” he says.
“Oh, I’m sorry sir, I didn’t know it was your wife” replies the cop.
The barman replies -“Neither did I ’til you shone your flashlight!”
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The priest said,
"Sister, this is a silent monastery. You are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until directed to do so."
Sister Mary lived in the monastery for 5 years before the priest said to her, 'Sister Mary, you have been here for 5 years. You may speak two words."
Sister Mary said,
"Hard bed."
"I'm sorry to hear that," the priest said,
"We will get you a better bed."
After another 5 years, Sister Mary was summoned by the Priest:
"You may say another two words, Sister Mary."
"Cold food," said Sister Mary, and the priest assured her that the food would be better in the future. On her 15th anniversary at the monastery, the priest again called Sister Mary in to his office. "You may say two words today."
"I quit," said Sister Mary. "It's probably best," said the priest, "You've done nothing but complain since you got here."
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The REAL Night Before Christmas
(By Parents)
'Twas the night before Christmas
When all through the house
I searched for the tools
To hand to my spouse
Instructions were studied
And we were inspired,
In hopes we could manage
"Some Assembly Required."
The children were quiet (not asleep) in their beds,
While Dad and I faced the evening with dread:
A kitchen, two bikes, Barbie's townhouse to boot!
And now, thanks to Grandpa, a train with a toot!
We opened the boxes,
My heart skipped a beat -
Let no parts be missing
Or parts incomplete!
Too late for last-minute returns or replacement;
If we can't get it right, it goes straight to the basement!
When what to my worrying eyes should appear
But 50 sheets of directions, concise, but not clear,
With each part numbered and every slot named,
So if we failed, only we could be blamed.
More rapid than eagles the parts then fell out,
All over the carpet they were scattered about.
"Now bolt it! Now twist it! Attach it right there!
Slide on the seats, and staple the stair!
Hammer the shelves, and nail to the stand."
"Honey," said hubby, "you just glued my hand."
And then in a twinkling, I knew for a fact
That all the toy dealers had indeed made a pact
To keep parents busy all Christmas Eve night
With "assembly required" till morning's first light.
We spoke not a word, but kept веnт at our work,
Till our eyes, they went blurry; our fingers all hurt.
The coffee went cold and the night, it wore thin
Before we attached the last rod and last pin.
Then laying the tools away in the chest,
We fell into bed for a well-deserved rest.
But I said to my husband just before I passed out,
"This will be the best Christmas, without any doubt.
Tomorrow we'll cheer, let the holiday ring,
And not run to the store for one single thing!
We did it! We did it! The toys are all set
For the perfect, most magical, Christmas, I bet!"
Then off to dreamland and sweet repose
I gratefully went, though I suppose
There's something to say for those self-deluded-
I'd forgotten that BATTERIES are never included!
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