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Q: Did you hear the one about the blonde that had a problem with her bed?
A: She couldn't find a knife large enough to apply the bed spread.

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Blonde Jokes Stupid Jokes

If you are ill, so lie down and you'll walk it sooner loose.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes

How do you describe an angry potato?
Boiling Mad.

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Food Jokes

Q:Why is a doctor always calm.
A: Because it has a lot of patients.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes

Remember when we spent money like there was no tomorrow?
Well, it’s tomorrow.

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Money jokes

A man comes home alone from work.
Suddenly he hears this voice saying: "Now its time to quit your job, sell your house, take your money and go to Las Vegas."
He doesn't pay much attention to it but after a week hearing the same voice, he thinks ok!
He quits his job, sells his house, withdraws all his money and goes to Vegas.
The moment he steps out of the plane the voice tells him "Find the nearest casino!"
He enters a casino and the voice says: " Go to the roulette-table and put all your money on 17 black!
He complies and the croupier spins the wheel and says "Rien ne va plus"
21 RED!
And then the voice goes "Dамn!"

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Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

Parents: "Why are you welcoming guests in your underwear? "
Me: "Hated me to take off my underwear."

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Parent Jokes

Yo mama so round and fат that she makes an eclipse with the sun.

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Science jokes Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
"Present her with a mirror and tell her to wait for the other person to say ‘Hello'."

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Blonde Jokes

How are women and linoleum floors alike?
You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Sex Jokes Old People Jokes

One day the teacher was asking the class about there weekends.
She asked sue, "how was your weekend?"
"Good."
Then little Johnny waved his hand "me, me, me."
Finally giving in said, "what did you do this weekend?"
"I rode in my wagon pulled by my dog and hit a steep hill. The wagon started going faster than the dog and the handle went up his аss."
"Rестuм is the word you're looking for," she says.
"Rестuм," said Johnny, "da man near killed him."

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Animal Jokes Vulgar jokes Communication Jokes Dog jokes

When Chuck Norris plays hide and seek, even google can't find him.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Internet Jokes

Chuck Norris once played with Legos.
The result was The Great Pyramids.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

How did the black guy escape from jail?
He unscrewed the light bulbs.

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Prison Jokes Light bulb jokes Black People Jokes

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup?
A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it.

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Dark Humor Jokes Morbid jokes Dead baby jokes

A customer walked into our store looking for Christmas lights.
I showed her our top brand, but, wanting to make sure each bulb worked, she asked me to take them out of the box and plug them in.
I did, and each one lit up.
"Great," she said.
I carefully placed the string of lights back in the box.
But as I handed them to her, she looked alarmed.
"I don't want this box," she said abruptly. "It's been opened."

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Office and Work Jokes Technology Jokes Christmas Jokes Customer service jokes

Dad: "I heard you missed school yesterday."
Little Johnny: "Not a bit."

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Dad Jokes

Q: Which Bible character had no parents?
A: Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).

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Religion jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Computer Jokes Geek jokes Bible Jokes

Q: And the difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion?
A: Jail.

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Money jokes Accountant Jokes Prison Jokes Tax jokes

A traveling salesman rings this doorbell.
10 year old little Johnny opens, holding a вееr and smoking a fат cigar.
The salesman says, "Little boy is your mother home?"
Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "What do you think?"

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Little Johnny Jokes Kids Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Drug Jokes Fat Jokes Beer Jokes