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Latest Jokes

A doctor is speaking to a patient after an examination, ‘There are two reasons for your poor health, it’s entirely due to drinking and smoking.’
‘That’s a relief,’ replies the patient.
‘I thought you were going to say it was my fault.’

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes

Chuck Norris doesnt eat lunch, he drinks dinner.

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Food Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

A guy was going to Texas and when he went on the train he said,
"Ohh my god Texas chairs are really big."
He went to a bar he asked for a bear and when the bar tender gave him the mug of bear the guy said,
"Wooww Texas mugs are really big."
Later he asked the bar tender were is the bathroom and the bar tender said,
"Strait on your right."
But the guy went on his left and when he entered the room he slipped and feel in the swimming pool and said,
"Don't flush don't flush!"

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Men vs Women Jokes God Jokes Men jokes

*Me when I turn 18*
Parents: Do this.
Me: Dobby has no master. Dobby is a free elf.

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Harry Potter Jokes Kids Jokes Teenager and High School Jokes

One day, little Johnny came up to his father and asked, “Dad, where did I come from?”
Dad squirmed a bit, but thought it was time his son knew the facts of life. He told him the expression of love resulted in the beginning of life. How life developed and finally, how a child was born. As the story unfolded, Johnny’s eyes got wider and wider.
When his father was finished, Johnny said, “Wow, that is really neat. That sure beats what Billy told me. He said that he came from Cranston.”

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Little Johnny Jokes Dad Jokes

What does the BFI on the dumpsters stand for?
Black Family Inside.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Black People Jokes

Why don't men have mid-life crises?
They stay stuck in adolescence.

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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance, she leaned over and pushed me.

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Money jokes One-Liner Jokes Banker Jokes

English:
Toto is at school and asks if he can go to the bathroom. The teacher says no.
Then, she asks Toto, “Where is the biggest river in the world?”
“Under my bench,” he replies.
French:
Toto est à l’école et demande s’il peut aller au salle de bain. La maîtresse dit non.
Puis, elle demande à Toto, “Où est le plus grand riviere du monde ?”
“Sous mon banc,” il répond.

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School Jokes Nationality Jokes

Are you a bowling ball?
Because I want to pick you up and stick my fingers in your holes.

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Pick-Up Lines Jokes

The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...

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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Military Jokes

Yo mama so fат when she walked out in August in her yellow sun dress and the kids said mommy its time for school.

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School Jokes Kids Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

Golfer:
"My wife says if I don't stop playing golf she's going to leave me!"
Caddy:
"I'm sure you will miss her terribly, sir!"

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Sports Jokes

There is no "ctrl" button on Chuck Norris's computer.
Chuck norris is always in control

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Technology Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Computer Jokes One-Liner Jokes

What does it look like when you microwave a baby?
I don't know, I close my eyes when I маsтurвате.

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Gross Jokes Masturbation jokes

A guy was talking with his friend:
I’ve managed to separate from my wife in common agreement: she gets the house and I get the car and desk.
Ok, but how about your finances?
The lawyer takes care of those...

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Car and driving jokes Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Friendship Jokes Lawyer Jokes

How many white people does it take to clean a toilet?
None, that's a niggеr's job.

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Office and Work Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Black People Jokes White people jokes

Why is life like a box of fruit?
Because when they go bad, they go black!

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes

Chuck Norris once soaked his beard in carbonated water.
The result is now sold as Red Bull.

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Food Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris is ambidextrous.
He can do Roundhouse kicks with his left and right leg.
All at the same time.

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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes