Latest Jokes

A family doctor is seeing an 80 year old patient for the first time. She tells him, “Since this is your first time here, I’d like to get a little history on you. Who’s been your regular doctor up till now?”
The man says, “I don’t remember saying I’ve ever been to the doctor.”
The doctor is astonished. “What? You’ve never been to a doctor?”
The man says, “Nope. Never needed one before.”
“That’s remarkable,” she says. “But there must be a family doctor somewhere. What about your father when he was alive. Who was the family doctor?”
“I don’t remember saying my father had passed away.”
“Oh, I’m sorry! You’re father’s still alive? He must be at least a hundred.”
“Yep. ‘Bout that. And he’s never been to the doctor either.”
She says, “Well that’s one impressive bloodline you have there. What an amazing family. But there’s got to be a doctor in the history somewhere. What about your grandfather when he was alive? Who was the family doctor?”
“I don’t remember saying my grandfather had passed away.”
“Oh come on now, you must be kidding! Your grandfather is still alive? He’d have to be at least 120!”
“Yep, ‘Bout that. And he’s never been to the doctor either. But I think he’s gonna have to go soon. He’s getting married next week.”
“What?" she says. "Oh now surely you’re joking. Getting married? Imagine being 120 years old and wanting to get married!”
The old man looks at her and says, “I don’t remember saying he WANTED to get married."
Marriage and Family Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes Old People Jokes Grandparent Jokes
One night a man walks into a bar with a pig.
The bartender says to the man, "That's a great looking pig, but why does he have a wooden leg?"
So the man says,
"Let me tell you about this pig.
He is one special pig.
One night my house was on fire and he dragged me to safety.
Saved my life."
The bartender says.
"Well, that's great. But why does he have a wooden leg?"
The man says,
"Let me tell you about this pig.
He is one special pig.
One time I was out sailing and the boat capsized.
This pig swam me to safety. Saved my life."
The bartender says,
"That's really terrific, but why the wooden leg?"
The man says,
"Let me tell you about this pig.
He is one special pig. Last week during an earthquake my house collapsed and my pig pulled me out. Saved my life."
And finally the bartender says,"Wow, that is one special pig.
He saved you from a fire, an earthquake and from drowning.
But why does he have a wooden leg?"
The man says,
"When you have a pig this special you can't eat all of it at once."
Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes