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Latest Jokes

There's an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris...
Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Science jokes

I been alive over 40 years and I never seen a Chinese restaurant commercial!

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China Jokes Restaurant Jokes

Scientists have developed a way to travel through time, by being on the recieving end of a roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris keeps a list of all his victims, it's called the phone book.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Phone jokes

Daylight Savings happened when Chuck Norris overslept an hour.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

Oxygen needs Chuck Norris to survive.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris can make ice cubes with a microwave.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

What does the fox say?
Whatever the hеll Chuck Norris tells him to.

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Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

What do you call a cremated black person?
100% cocoa powder.

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Black People Jokes

What's the best thing about a вlоwjов from an Ethiopian?
You know they'll swallow.

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes

People ask me what the time is all the time, and everytime, on time, I tell them, "if you look at that building it'll show you the time because you'll be watching it". Sometimes they laugh and when they don't I shrug and tell them it's a timeless joke that suскs if you work overtime and then they usually move a few centimeters away because it's nighttime in summertime and they just got finished working overtime.

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Holiday Jokes

How many pro-choicers does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
Two, one to do it and one to assert that the bulb didn't exist before it was lit up.
How many executives does it take to change a light bulb?
A roomful - they have to hold a meeting to discuss all the ramifications of the change.
How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?
This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile...
How many teenage girls does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
How many accountants does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
What kind of answer did you have in mind?
How many accountants does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
None--just assume it's changed.
How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb?
I'll have an estimate for you a week from Monday.
How many junkies does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
Oh wow, is it like dark, man?

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Monday jokes

What’s the difference between an invoice and an inner-voice?
One says “Pay this amount.”
The other says “I’m not fсuкing paying that.”

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What's The Difference Jokes

I came home from the pub four hours late last night.
“Where the fuск have you been?” screamed my wife.
I said, “I’ve been playing poker with some blokes.”
“Playing poker with some blokes?” she repeated. “Well, you can pack your bags and go!”
“So can you” I said, “This isn’t our house anymore.”

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Bad Habits Jokes

The other day I went to the Patent Office trying to register some of my inventions.
I told the lady at the desk that I invented a folding bottle. She asked me what I called it.
“A Fottle,” I said.
“What else do you have?”
“A folding carton.”
“What do you call it?”
“A Farton.”
She sniggered and said, “Those are silly names for products and one of them sounds kind of crude.”
I was so upset by her comment that I grabbed the form and left the office without even telling her about my folding bucket.

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Office and Work Jokes Stupid Jokes

What is a man's ultimate shame? When he runs into a wall with a hard-on and grabs his nose first!

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Men jokes Sexist Jokes

My sister was reading out my parents will when she said, “Do you want to hear something funny?”
“Go on,” I replied.
“Mum and Dad’s house.”
“I don’t get it,” I said confused.
“I know,” She laughed. “I do…. Funny isn’t it.”

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Dad Jokes Sarcasm Jokes

Some days, I think that reality is just a crutch for people who can’t cope with drugs.

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Philosophy Jokes

What is the definition of "making love"? Something a woman does while a guy is sсrеwing her.

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Jokes about Women Love Jokes

Why can't cinderella get in the basketball team?
Because she keeps running away from the ball.

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Life Jokes