Walks into a Bar, Bar jokes, Bartender jokes

Approaching the woman at a single’s bar, the young man said, “Hi cookie. How about a date?”
“Forget it,” she said. “I never go out with a perfect stranger.”
“We are both in luck,” he said. I’m far from perfect.”

0 0

A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. The bartender asked her about it and she replied, “Its a bad habit”

0 0

Religion jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes

Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, “Is the bar tender here?”

1 0

Bar and Bartender Jokes

Man walks up to a priest. The man says “I am Jesus Сhrisт.”
The priest says “No you are not my son.”
The man says " Follow me."
The man walks into the bar and the bartender says
“Jesus Сhrisт your back!”

1 0

Bar and Bartender Jokes Priest Jokes

The Perfect Man
At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends.
"The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company.
He must be musical.
Tell jokes.
Sing.
And stay home at night!"
An old granny overheard and spoke up, "Honey, if that's all you want,get a TV!"

26 0

Jokes about Women Technology Jokes Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Friendship Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Music and Musician Jokes Coffee Jokes

Do you have pet insurance?? Because I’m going to destroy your рussy.

0 0

Pick-Up Lines Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Insurance Comedy

A guy walks into a bar and sees a 1 foot piano player over by the door. He goes over to the bartender, orders a вееr, and says “man, how’d you get such a short piano player.” The bartender says in response” there’s a genie in the back of the bar.” The man finishes his вееr and runs to the back, looking for the genie. He finds it and says “I wish for a million bucks.” Suddenly, a million ducks fly out of the bar. The customer looks confused and goes back to the bartender and says “what just happened” the bartender replies “the genie is half deaf, do you really think I’d ask for a 12 inch pianist?”

1 0

Animal Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Beer Jokes

A Man walks into a bar and Orders 3 shots of Whisky, The Bartender asks "What’s got you down"
The man says “I just found out my Niece is gаy.” The next day he orders 4 shots of Whisky
The Bartender asks “What’s got you down now?” The man says "I just found out my son is gаy."
The next day he orders 6 shots of whisky The Bartender says "Got anybody who likes Women?"
The man says “My wife does.”

2 0

Bar and Bartender Jokes

There were two strangers sitting in a bar, one says to the other. "Psst, wanna see somethin'?" The other man shrugged and agreed. The first man pointed to an object covered by a cloth. "Look under that cloth but DO NOT take it off. So the man walks over to the object that is quite large and peeks under it. However, when he saw what was under it he screamed and accidentally pulled the cloth off. It was a one eyed purple monster! The man was so scared he took off in his car. The monster was hot on his trail. He drove to the airport and on the plane he felt safe but he looked into the ocean and the monster was swimming after him to Africa! When he got there he ran off the plane without his luggage. He couldn't run anymore and the monster was coming closer. He could feel it's hot breath. He stopped and the monsters big hand reached down. The man knew this was his last day when he heard in a growling voice as an impact hit him, YOUR IT! And the monster ran away.

0 0

Men jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Africa Jokes Aviation Jokes

A Roman walks into a bar
He holds up two fingers and says “give me five beers.”

3 0

Drinking and Drunk Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Beer Jokes

A blind man walks into a bar, and asks the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bartender replies with, “I’m blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fат guy behind you is blonde.” Then says “Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?” the blind guy responds with "No I don’t wanna tell it that many times.

2 0

Gay and Lesbian Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Blonde Jokes

Man walks into a bar and sits next to another customer.
Bartender comes over and says to the new customer, "what can I get you?"
Customer says "bourbon and coke."
Bartender looks at first customer and says another "вееr Jаскаss?"
He says nods his head yes.
10 minutes later bartender comes back to check to see if customer wants another bourbon and coke and customer says "sure."
Bartender looks at first customer and says "another вееr Jаскаss?"
And customer nods yes.
Bourbon and coke customer says to вееr customer, "Man you are the customer, don't le t that bartender talk to you like that."
Beer customer says "it's ok he al, he al, He always calls me that!"

28 0

Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Vulgar jokes Customer service jokes Communication Jokes Beer Jokes

A 14 year old Chinese boy walks into a bar .
He goes up to the the bar and signals the bartender: “I’ll have a glass of rice wine, please.”
The bartender looks him up and down and laughs. “You’re way too young!”
“How you know my name?!”

0 0

Bar and Bartender Jokes Wine jokes

Sign on wine truck...

In case of ACCIDENT:

BRING LOTS OF CHEESE AND CRACKERS!!!

0 0

Bar and Bartender Jokes Wine jokes

A man walks into a bar. He gets very drunк and asks the bartender where the restroom is.

The bartender explains it's the third door to the right, but the man goes into the third door to the left. He finds a large golden toilet. The man takes a big роор in it and leaves.

He continues to return to drink there every week, and every time he goes to роор in that golden toilet.

One day he finds the golden toilet is gone, so he asks the bartender about it.

The bartender exclaims, "So you're the one who's been pooping in my tuba!"

0 0

Men jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes

This bartender is in a bar, when this really hot chick walks up and says in a sеxy seductive voice, "May I please speak to your manager?"
He says, "Not right now, is there anything I can help you with?"
She replies, "I don't know if your the man to talk to...its kind of personal..."
Thinking he might get lucky, he goes, "I'm pretty sure I can handle your problem, miss."
She then looks at him with a smile, and puts two of her fingers in his mouth...and he begins suскing them, thinking "I'm in!!!"
She goes, "Can you give the manager something for me?"
The bartender nods...yes.
"Tell him there's no toilet paper in the ladies restroom."

14 0

Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Boss Jokes

A drunк man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him:
Wife: why is your face all вlооdy?
Husband: I was so drunк that I couldn’t stand up so I kept falling on my face!
Wife: idiот. You left your wheelchair at the bar!

5 0

Marriage and Family Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes

An English man, Irishman and a Scotch man are sitting in a pub full of people.
The Englishman says, “The pubs in England are the best.
You can buy one drink and get a second one free”.
Everyone in the pub agreed and gave a big cheer.
The Scottish man says,”..yeah. That’s quite good but in Scotland you can buy one drink and get another 2 for free.”
Again, the crowd in the pub gave a big cheer.
The Irish man says “Your two pubs are good, but they are not as good as the ones in Ireland. In Ireland you can buy one pint, get another 3 for free and then get taken into the back-room for a shаg”
The English says “WOW! Did that happen to you?” and the Irishman replies “No, but it happened to my sister.”

30 0

Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes

A cop is staking out a bar for drunк drivers.
At closing time, he sees a guy stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and fumble for his keys for five minutes.
When he finally gets in, it takes him another five minutes to get the key in the ignition.
Meanwhile, everybody else leaves the bar and drives off.
When he finally pulls away, the cop is waiting for him, pulls him over, and gives him a Breathalyzer test. The test shows he has a blood alcohol level of 0.0.
The cop says, "How is this possible?"
The guy says,"Tonight I'm the designated decoy."

15 0

Drinking and Drunk Jokes Police Officer Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes

A man walks into a bar, he takes a seat and asks the barmen if he wanted to hear a blonde joke, the barmen replies before you tell this joke I want to tell you something, see the women over there, she is a black belt in karate, she’s blonde , see the bouncer over there he is also a blonde, see the chick over there with that pool que she is also blonde, also I have a shotgun behind the bar i’m blonde, so do you still want to tell your joke? He replies f**k that I ain’t explaining the joke 4 times.

10 0

Blonde Jokes Men jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes