Blonde Jokes

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Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a vending machine?
A: Nothing.....you get what you paid for.

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Blonde Jokes

What do you call a blonde standing on her head?
A brunette with bad breath.

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Blonde Jokes Jokes about Women Dirty jokes One-Liner Jokes

Q: What did the blonde say when she was offered a position at the UN?
A: "Would that be a missionary position?"

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Blonde Jokes

While her husband was at work, a blonde decided to paint their living room.
After her husband arrives home, he finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat while wearing a parka and a mink. He asked her what she was doing. She said, "I wanted to prove to you that not all blonde women are dumb, and I wanted to do it by painting the living room."
He says that he was impressed at the good job she had done, but asked, "Why are you wearing two coats? She replied, "I read the directions on the paint can, and they said, ''For best results, put on two coats!'"

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Blonde Jokes

Two blondes stand on opposite sides of a lake.
One blonde yells, "How do I get to the other side?"
The other blonde yells back, "You're already on the other side!"

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Blonde Jokes

Two blondes are shopping at the mall. When they are done they go out to their car, which happens to be an awesome leather interior convertible. When they get to the car, they realize they had locked the keys in the car. So they both kind of stand there and think for a while.
Finally one gets am idea to try to open the car with a hanger. So the first blonde starts fiddling with the lock with the hanger. The other blonde looks up at the sky and suddenly becomes very worried.
"HURRY, HURRY," she urges. "IT'S GOING TO RAIN AND WE LEFT THE TOP DOWN!"

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Blonde Jokes

Q: How do you get a twinkle in a blonde's eye?
A: Shine a flashlight in her ear.

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

How does a blonde try to кill a fish?
She drowns it!!

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Blonde Jokes Animal Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Stupid Jokes

How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
Sit a kitty beside her.

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Blonde Jokes

Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree?
A: You wave at her.

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Blonde Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Men jokes One-Liner Jokes Black People Jokes

Q: How do you give a blonde a brain transplant?
A: Вlоw in her ear.

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Blonde Jokes

A brunette was jumping along railroad tracks, saying, "21, 21, 21." A blonde comes along and starts doing the same thing.
They hear a train, and the brunette jumps off, but the blonde keeps jumping. The blonde gets hit and dies. After the train leaves, the brunette jumps back on, this time saying, "22, 22, 22."

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Blonde Jokes

Q: Why did three blondes jump off a building?
A: They wanted to see if their маxi-pads really had wings.

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are crossing an enchanted bridge in Magical Fairyland when they run into a fairy.
The fairy says that they can be granted a transformation if they jump off the bridge and call out their wish. The brunette immediately jumps off the bridge and yells "Eagle!" She turns into a beautiful bird of prey and flies away. The redhead jumps off the bridge and yells out "Salmon!" She turns into a gorgeous shimmering salmon and swims upstream to spawn. The blonde is at this point so excited that she jumps off the bridge without thinking of her wish. She panics.
"Сrар!"

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Blonde Jokes

A blonde, brunette and redhead are in a desert. The brunette says, "I brought some water so we don't get dehydrated."
The redhead says, "I brought some suntan lotion so we don't get sunburned."
Then the blonde says I brought a car door."
The other girls said, "Why did you bring that?"
Then the blonde says, "So I can roll down the window if it gets hot."

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Blonde Jokes

Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
A: 100. One to make the batter and 99 to сrаск the shells on the M&Ms.

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Chocolate Jokes

Q: What does a blonde do after she finishes suскing c**k?
A: Spits out the feathers.

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Blonde Jokes

Blonde Jokes...Or Are They?
Q: How many blonde jokes are there?
A: None - they're all true.

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Blonde Jokes

A blonde goes to the library to get a book. A few days later, she comes back and says to librarian at the counter, "This book was very boring. It had too many characters and too many numbers, so I would like to return it."
The librarian says to her coworkers, "So here's the person who took our phone book!"

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Blonde Jokes

It was the first time a blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family, so she prepared a dinner by herself. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went.
"Mom, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!" the blonde said.
"Did it not taste good?" her mother asked.
"I don't know," the blonde replied. "It wouldn't sit still!"

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Blonde Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes