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This teacher is teaching her grade four class, and she’s telling them that the word of the day is ‘contagious.’ She asks if anyone can use this word in a sentence, and several people stick up their hands. “Carl,” she says.
Carl says, “My dad told me to stay away from kids with mumps, ’cause they’re contagious.”
“Very good,” says the teacher.
Then she picks Suzie, who says, “The atmosphere was contagious,” and the teacher says, “Excellent, Suzie!”
Then she notices that little Johnny has his hand up, at the back of the class.
“Yes, Johnny?” she says. Johnny says, “The other day, me and my dad’s a-sittin around, and we saw our blonde neighbor painting her fence. She had a tiny little model car paintbrush, and she was going in tiny little strokes up and down the fence, and my dad says to me, “Jesus, it’s gonna take that c*nt ages to finish that fence.”
A guy driving his car asks his blonde girlfriend to stick her head out of the window and check to see if the blinkers are working, she sticks her head out and tells the boyfriend to go ahead I'm looking at them. He then replies okay honey are they working or not? She replies back--yes,no,yes,no,yes,no,yes,no,yes,no,yes,no
A newlywed husband had to go on a business trip, and hated to leave his gorgeous, sеxy blonde wife alone.
The night before he left, he brought home a viвrатоr and gave it to her.
“What’s this for?” she asked.
“It’s for those lonely nights when you miss me,” explained her husband, winking. “Just think of it as something to take my place when you get the mood.”
A week later, hubby returns home, and finds the Viвrатоr in the garbage.
“Honey,” he says, “why did you throw it away? I told you, you should use it in my place when I’m gone.”
“I did,” she said. “But the dамnеd thing Rattled my fillings loose.
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead are interviewing for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets.
First, the panel of scientists asks the brunette, “If you could go to any planet, what planet would you choose and why?” She answers promptly, “I would go to Mars because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible extra terrestrial life on the planet.”
Next, the panel asks the redhead the same question. Without any hesitation, she replies, “I’d like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings.”
Finally, the NASA scientists ask the blonde the same question they asked the brunette and the redhead. After pondering for several minutes, she finally answers, “I would go to the sun.”
Several scientists suppress a laugh, but the lead interviewer, trying to take the blonde seriously, explains, “Well, if you went to the sun, you’d burn to death almost instantaneously.”
The blond smirks and puts her hands on her hips. “Do you think I am fсuкing sтuрid! I’d go at night!”