Blue Collar Jokes

Most popular in this category
George W. Bush is visiting a primary school and he visits one of the classes. They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asks the President if he would like to lead the discussion of the word "tragedy."
So the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a tragedy. One little boy stands up and offers: "If my best friend who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy."
"No," says President Bush, "that would be an accident."A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains the exalted leader. "That's what we would call a great loss."
The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. President Bush searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally at the back of the room, little Johnny raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says: "If Air Force One carrying you was struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy."
"Fantastic!" exclaims President Bush, "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"
"Well," says the boy, "because it sure as hеll wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."
Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Blue Collar Jokes Friendship Jokes American Presidents Humor
The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists.
One was a San Francisco State University graduate from an upper-crust family; well-bred, well-connected and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a redneck from Texas A & M. Go figure. The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less, and the poem had to contain the word “Timbuktu.” The San Francisco State graduate went first. About thirty seconds after the clock started he jumped up and recited the following poem: “'Slowly across the desert sand Trekked the dusty caravan. Men on camels, two by two Destination - Timbuktu.” The audience went wild! How, they wondered if the redneck could top that?! The clock started again and the redneck sat in silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped and recited: “Tim and me, a-huntin' went. Met three whоrеs in a pop-up tent. They was three, we was two, So I bucked one and Timbuktu”
School Jokes Nationality Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Blue Collar Jokes Men jokes
School Jokes Blue Collar Jokes Men jokes
Sports Jokes Blue Collar Jokes Sex Jokes
Bob walks into a public bathroom and notices a guy with no arms standing next to a urinаl. As Bob takes care of his business, he wonders how the poor soul is going to take a leak. Bob finishes and heads for the door, but figures he should ask the man if he needs help.
''Oh yes please!?" the man cries. "You have a kind heart, sir,'' says the man with no arms.
But as Bob goes ahead, unzips the man, and pulls his willy out, he encounters all kinds of mold, red bumps, moles, scabs, scars, and other unpleasant-looking things. The armless man asks Bob to kindly point it... then shake it, put it back and zip it. So Bob, gathers his courage, shuts his eyes and does so.
''Thank you very much, sir!'' says the armless man.
''No problem,'' says Bob ''but what the hеll is wrong with your реnis?''
The guy pulls pulls his arms out of his shirt and says ''I don't know, but I ain't touching it!"
Gross Jokes Blue Collar Jokes Men jokes Business jokes
Three drifters are roaming the countryside for some time. They come upon a small farmhouse with crops planted around it. They are very hungry, thirsty, and tired so the first guy suggests they steal some food.
The second says they should ask for food, so he then goes up and knocks on the door and an old, ugly lady answers. He asks for food and she agrees - but only under one condition. They must have sеx with her.
The first drifter says no, the lady is too ugly, and goes back into the woods.
The third guy is very hungry and agrees. He enters the cottage and goes into a corner near a pile of corn to transact his business with the old lady. The old lady is ready, but the guy says he'll only do it if she's blindfolded.
So she puts on a blindfold and bends over. Quickly the guy grabs an ear of corn and sticks it inside the old lady, then throws it out the window. The woman says, "Again," and the man does the same thing. Satisfied, she gives the man some food and he leaves. As he is walking out of the farmhouse, he comes upon the other two guys.
"Guess what?" the first guy says, "while you sсrеwеd that old hag we found two ears of cream corn!"
Gross Jokes Jokes about Women Food Jokes Blue Collar Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes
Remarks Never Heard at Daytona 500:
- None for me, thanks. That Skoal will do a number on your teeth.
- Tampax! Get your Tampax here!
- Hey, shut up! I can't hear the race!
- Sеx with your sister? Man, that's sick.
- My God, this is a splendid Merlot.
- Hey, you with the large вrеаsтs, out of the way. We're trying to watch a race here.
- Jeeves, be a good man and retrieve the Wall Street Journal from my attach case. Then fetch me some clotted cream for my scone.
- What a coincidence, Hank, all my friends are boycotting Ноотеrs, too.
- These are even better seats than we had for the Lionel Richie concert.
- Good morning, Mr. Trickle. We at 'Depends' understand you're looking for a new corporate sponsor.
- Filling in for Dale 'The Intimidator' Earnhardt today is substitute driver, Michael 'Lord of the Dance' Flatley.
- And now, singing our national anthem, international recording artist Boy George.
Car and driving jokes Nationality Jokes God Jokes Blue Collar Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Friendship Jokes Boycott Jokes
A young man got a new job running the register at a store. The old store owner said he would teach him how to up-sell.
"Watch how I do it," he said to the new hire.
As a customer put a bag of grass seed on the counter, the old-timer said to him, "When you plant those seeds and the grass starts growing, you're going to need a new lawnmower to cut the grass."
"You know," said the man, "I do need a new mower. Sure, I'll take one."
After the customer left, the new kid said, "I think I see what you mean. Let me handle this next one."
A customer stepped up to the counter and set down a box of tampons. The young salesman said, "You know, you should get you a new lawnmower to go with that."
The man asked the young salesman, "What are you talking about?"
"It looks like your weekend's shot so you might as well cut the grass."
Office and Work Jokes Kids Jokes Blue Collar Jokes Men jokes