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After three years of marriage, Amy was still questioning her husband about his lurid past.
“C’mon, tell me,” she asked for the thousandth time, “how many women have you slept with?”
“Baby, ” he protested, “if I told you, you’d throw a fit.”
Amy promised she wouldn’t get angry, and convinced her hubby to tell her.
“Okay,” he said, “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven - then there’s you - nine, ten, 11, 12, 13…..”
The doctors are pretty optimistic about saving his ‘family jewels
Dr. Epstein was a renowned physician who earned his medical degree in his home town and left for Manhattan. Soon he was invited to give a speech back in his home town. As he placed his papers on the lectern they slid off onto the floor and when he веnт over to retrieve them, at precisely the wrong instant, he passed a gigantic fаrт and the microphone amplified it throughout the room.
He was embarrassed but regained his composure to deliver his paper. After he concluded, he raced out the stage door, never to be seen in his hometown until decades later.
His return those many years later was to visit his ailing, elderly mother. He reserved a hotel room under a false name, Levy, and arrived under cover of darkness.
The desk clerk asked him, "Is this your first visit to our city, Mr. Levy?"
Dr. Epstein replied, "Well, young man, no, it isn't. I grew up here but
Then I moved away."
"Why haven't you visited?" asked the clerk.
"I did visit once, many years ago, but an embarrassing thing happened and since then I've been too ashamed to return."
The clerk consoled him, "Sir, while I don't have your life experiences, one thing I've learned is that often what seems embarrassing to me isn't even remembered by others. I'll bet that's true of your incident, too."
Dr. Epstein replied, "Son, I hope that's the case with my incident."
"Was it a long time ago?"
"Yes, many years."
"Was it before or after the Epstein Fаrт?"
A Doctor in Minnesota wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he told his assistant “Ya Ole, I am going hunting tomorrow and we don’t want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of our patients”.
“Yes, sir…” answers Ole.
The doctor goes hunting and returns the next day and asks:
“So Ole, how was your day?” Ole tells him he took care of three patients. “The first one had a headache, so I gave him TYLENOL.”
“Bravo! Ya, Ole, and the second one?” says the doctor.
“The second one had stomach burning, and I gave him MAALOX, sir,” says Ole. “Bravo, bravo Ole! You’re good at this and what; about the third one?” asks the doctor. “Sir, I was sitting here, and suddenly the door opens, and a woman enters like a flame.
She undresses herself, taking off her вrа and her раnтiеs and lies down on the table, spread her legs and shouts: HELP ME! For five years I have not seen any man!!” And what did you do Ole?” asks the doctor. “I put eye drops in her eyes.”.