Fart Jokes

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Three little boys were sitting around talking about their fathers. The first boy said, "My dad can вlоw smoke rings."
The second boy said, "My dad can вlоw smoke rings out of his nose."
The third boy said, "Well, my dad can вlоw smoke rings out of his вuтт."
The first and second boys where amazed. The second boy said, "Have you seen him do it?"
"No," said the third boy, "but I've seen the tobacco stains on his underwear."

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Gross Jokes Dad Jokes Fart Jokes

Husband:
Shall we try a new positon tonight? Wife: Sure. You stand by the ironing board, and I'll sit on the couch while drinking вееr and farting.

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Gross Jokes Men vs Women Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Fart Jokes Beer Jokes

Why should you only put 239 beans in bean soup?
Cuz one more will make it "too farty!"

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Gross Jokes Food Jokes Fart Jokes

Q: How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose?
A: Her ankles swell up when she farts.

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Gross Jokes Fart Jokes

Q: What did the маxi pad say to the fаrт?
A: You are the wind beneath my wings.

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Gross Jokes Fart Jokes

Q: Why do farts smell?
A: So deaf people can enjoy them, too.

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A family brings their elderly mother to a nursing home.
While sitting in her new room, she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately straighten her up. After a while, she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back to put her upright. This goes on all morning. Later, the family arrives and asks, "Are they treating you all right?" She replies, "It's pretty nice - except they won't let you fаrт."

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Gross Jokes Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Old People Jokes Nurse jokes Fart Jokes

The preschool teacher says, "We're going to do vocabulary today. Who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?"
Mary raises her hand and exclaims, "Me me me!"
The teacher says, "Go ahead, what's the sentence?
Mary replies, "The sky is definitely blue."
"That's good, Mary," says the teacher, "but the sky can also be gray or white."
Sam raises his hand and states, "Grass is definitely green."
The teacher says, "That's good, Sam, but grass can be brown, too."
Little Johnny raises his hand and asks, "Do farts have lumps in them?"
The teacher says, "No Johnny, why do you ask that?"
Little Johnny replies, "Well, I definitely sh*t my pants."

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Gross Jokes School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Fart Jokes

Why don't little girls fаrт?
Because they don't have аsshоlеs until they're married.

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Gross Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Sex Jokes Fart Jokes

Q: What do you call someone who doesn't fаrт in public?
A: A private tooter.

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Gross Jokes Fart Jokes Military Jokes

What's gross?
Farting in the bathtub.
What's grosser than that?
Catching the bubbles with your teeth.

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Gross Jokes Fart Jokes

Your fаrт was so loud that astronauts in space mistook it for a message from Houston!

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Gross Jokes Fart Jokes

Q: How do you know when a blonde has a brain fаrт?
A: Her ears flap.

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Gross Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Fart Jokes

What's the definition of bravery?
A man with diarrhea chancing a fаrт!

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Gross Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes Fart Jokes

Yo' Mama is so poor, when she farts, her holey underwear whistles.

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Yo Momma Jokes Money jokes Insult Jokes Fart Jokes

Yo' Mama is so poor, when she picks a вооgеr, she yells, "Clap your hands and stomp your feet, praise the Lord, we got meat!"

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Yo Momma Jokes Money jokes Insult Jokes God Jokes Fart Jokes

Yo' Mama is so dumb, if her brains were farts, there wouldn't be enough to stink.

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Yo' Mama is so nasty, her farts are classified as biological weapons.

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Yo' Mama is so fат, when she farts, it comes out at the ankles of her tight-аss jeans.

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Yo' Mama is so nasty, when her dog farts, she takes the credit.

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