Fat Jokes

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the other side!

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Q: What's the difference between a man and a pig?
A: There's a difference?

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You'll be so fат after Thanksgiving you'll need license plates for your shoes.

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You'll be so fат after Thanksgiving next time you wear leather pants to a party, people will sit on your воотy thinking it's a couch.

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You'll be so fат after Thanksgiving your next Facebook profile pic will have to be an aerial shot.

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You'll be so fат after Thanksgiving, the highway department will make you wear an "Oversize Load" sign every time you take a walk.

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You'll be so fат after Thanksgiving you'll have to iron your pants on the driveway.

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You'll be so fат after Thanksgiving next time you go to a restaurant, instead of a menu, you'll get an estimate.

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You'll be so fат after Thanksgiving you'll put mayonnaise on aspirin.

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You'll be so fат after Thanksgiving you'll get turned on reading a cook book.

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Three blondes die and go to St. Peter. He says, "I have one question, and if you get it right, I will let you into Heaven."
He asks the first blonde, "What is Easter?"
She answers, "That's the time of the year when our whole family gets together and we eat turkey."
St. Peter says to the next blonde, "What is Easter?"
She answers, "That's the time of year when the fат jolly guy comes down the chimney and our family gets together to open presents."
St. Peter asks the third blonde, "What is Easter?"
She says, "That's when Сhrisт died and they put him in a tomb behind a rock."
"That's right!" exclaims St. Peter.
"Then, once a year," continues the third blonde, "we roll the stone away and he comes out, and if he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of winter."

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Q: How do you make five pounds of fат look good to a man?
A: Put a niррlе on it.

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Q: What do you call a blonde who eats too much?
A: Fат.

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The Lord Giveth...
When the Lord gave out brains, I thought he said trains and I missed mine! When he gave out looks, I thought he said books, and I didn't want any! When he gave out noses, I thought he said Four Roses, and I ordered a big one! When he gave out legs, I thought he said kegs, and I ordered two fат ones! When he gave out ears, I thought he said beers, and I ordered two long ones! When the Lord gave out chins, I thought he said gins, and I said 'Give me a double' Oh Lord! I'm a mess!

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What do mopeds and fат ladies have in common?
They're both a great ride until someone sees you on one.

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Yo mama's so fат, Godzilla tried to f**k her and fell in.

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You'll be so fат after Thanksgiving your driver's license will say "picture continued on other side."

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Yo' Mama is so fат, she wears a watch on each arm - one for each time zone she's in.

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Yo' Mama is so fат, her shadow is used for the witness protection program.

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Yo' Mama is so fат, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.

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