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Food Jokes

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What do you get from a short-legged соw?
Dragon milk.
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Animal Jokes Food Jokes Dwarf Jokes
The below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work.
If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss to allow alcohol.
1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It reduces stress.
3. It leads to more honest communications.
4. It reduces complaints about low pay.
5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.
6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.
7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.
8. It encourages carpooling.
9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don't care.
10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
11. It makes fellow employees look better.
12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
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Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Food Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Boss Jokes
Roses are red,
violets are blue,
sugar is sweet,
but nothing compared to you.
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Relationship Jokes Food Jokes Flirt jokes Love Jokes
Yo Mama's just like peanut-butter...she spreads for bread !
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Yo Momma Jokes Food Jokes
When Chuck Norris cuts onions, the onins cry.
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Плачење När Chuck Norris skär lök är det alltid löken som börjar gråta
Chuck Norris Jokes Food Jokes
Chuck Norris is the only one that can turn lemonade into lemons.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Food Jokes
A duck walks into a pet store and asked the owner if he sold “duck-food” here.
The owner said; “no, I don’t sell duck food here”.
The next day the duck went back to the same pet store, and asked the owner again if he sold “duck-food” here.
The owner became very angry and said; “if you ask me for “duck-food” one more time, I am going to nail your web feet to the floor!”
The duck came back on the third day and asked the owner of the pet store; “do you sell any hammer and nails here?”
The owner answered; “no, I don’t sell any hammer and nails here”.
The duck then asked; “do you sell any “duck-food” here”?
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Animal Jokes Food Jokes
What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
He felt funny.
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Food Jokes Animal Jokes
When you have a man staring at a nакеd Рlаyвоy model, be sure that he doesn’t wonder if she knows cooking, or if she plays piano or if she has a nice personality either!
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Men jokes Food Jokes Music and Musician Jokes
Once upon a time, my wife and I were in the local restaurant.
We have talked to each other, but after a while, I have become quiet and then I started to talk, I have said: "you know, I love you so much, I will never leave you, never, ever, every single day I think only of you, we will be always together."
My wife has asked me: "Oh, darling, these words were addressed to me?"
I have said only: "Oh, no, sorry, darling, this time I am talking to this bottle of вееr."
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Бях вчера в "Халбите" с жена и казах "Обичам те". Ο σύζυγος αράζει στη βεράντα μαζί με τη γυναίκα του πίνοντας μπύρα. Αφού έχει πιει αρκετές, σπάει την ησυχία λέγοντας: Boy: "I love you so much, I could never live without you." Седят си мъж и жена му на верандата и се наслаждават на прекрасен залез... Мъжът тихо прошепва: - Обичам те.... Жена му саркастично го пита... - Ти ли говориш или бирата..? Мъжа отговаря.. - Аз говоря ... на бирата..... Мъжът: "Обичам те! " Жената: " Ти ли го казваш или бирата? " Мъжът: " Аз го казвам на бирата." Following conversation took place between husband and wife in a cafe. Husband: I love you. Wife: Is that you talking or the wine? Husband: I was talking to the wine.
Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Communication Jokes Love Jokes Beer Jokes Restaurant Jokes
Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Food Jokes
Q: What kind of bees make milk instead of honey?
A: Boo-bees
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Dirty jokes Jokes about Women Food Jokes Animal Jokes Sex Jokes
Q: If Nuts on your chest are Chestnuts and Nuts on a wall are Walnuts. What are Nuts on your сhin called?
A: A Соск in the mouth!
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Dirty jokes Food Jokes Communication Jokes
A guy gets out of the V.D.
Hospital and decides to a hire a hоокеr, since he's been without for so long.
Before long, he brings one home, and they have sеx four times.
After it's over, he turns to her and tells her he hasn't had sеx in four months because of being in the V.D. Hospital.
"How's the food there?" asks the hоокеr.
"Because I'm going in there tomorrow!"
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Sex Jokes Gross Jokes Food Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes
Q: What kind of candy do Indians give out on Halloween?
A: Dots.
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Halloween Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes One-Liner Jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes
Yo mamma so small she uses a Dorito for a hang lider.
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Yo Momma Jokes Sports Jokes Food Jokes
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Yo mama is so frickin old her вrеаsт milk is powdered.
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Yo Momma Jokes Food Jokes Old People Jokes
There were these two bums and they were hungry when they came across road кill.
The first вuм went down to eat it when he looked up at his friend and said, "Oh I'm sorry, would you like some?"
He replied, "No I think I'll wait."
So they continue down the road and the first вuм said, "Look - some more road кill, I'm still hungry. How about you?"
His friend replied, "No, not yet, I think I'll wait."
The first вuм ate the road кill.
Shortly after, his eyes rolled back and he puked the whole thing back up on the street.
Seconds later, his friend dove in and ate every last slickery drop of the puke.
The first вuм said, "I thought you weren't hungry?"
His friend replied, "I was always hungry, I just wanted a warm meal."
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Gross Jokes Food Jokes Friendship Jokes Sick and Death Jokes
Spilled milk cries over Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Food Jokes
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