Internet Jokes

25 Years From Now: Dad, how did you meet mum?
Well son, your mum just had the hottest profile picture so I had to poke her…

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My cousin’s a lazy ваsтаrd - sits around all day doing fсuк all, drinking, surfing the internet for роrn.
Jeez, I wish I had an office job too!

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Office and Work Jokes Internet Jokes

When I was young I used to have an imaginary friend, now I’m on facebook I have 319.

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Facebook Jokes Friendship Jokes Internet Jokes

North Korea is back online after internet outage.
Sources say South Korea changed the wifi password.

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News and Politics Jokes Internet Jokes

Kim Kardashian wants to break the internet?
All this no talent hack needs to do to break the internet is to sit on it.

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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Internet Jokes

It’s nice to know that whatever problems you have and share on Facebook, there is always someone in your friends list that’s willing to “like” it for you.

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Facebook Jokes Friendship Jokes Internet Jokes

Just saw a Facebook status of a girl I know:
“Омg! Can’t help it! I’m obsess with Big Macs.”
I commented:
“Oops, you made a spelling mistake.”
She said:
“Haha, it’s obsessed, right?”
I replied:
“No, it’s obese, you fат сunт.”

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Facebook Jokes Fat Jokes Internet Jokes

Dogs may not be able to use the Internet but they do have рее-mail.
When they go outside they always want to check their messages and leave a status update.

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Animal Jokes Internet Jokes Dog jokes

Having mutual friends with someone doesn’t mean you should add them on Facebook.
It’s like a stranger knocking on your door and saying, “Hey we both know Tom, Chris, and Samantha. You mind if I come in?”

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Facebook Jokes Friendship Jokes Internet Jokes

I don’t understand all these ads on the internet ‘Get an eight inch реnis now’.
If I wanted my реnis to be eight inches, I’d just go out in the cold.

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Sex Jokes Internet Jokes

Social Media is a lot like being married.
You can express your opinion on anything you want but you will quickly be informed as to why you are wrong.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Internet Jokes

How do we not know what women want yet? There are tons of conflicting lists all over the internet.

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Jokes about Women Programmer Jokes Internet Jokes

Arguing on the internet is like competing in the Special Olympics: win or lose, you're still rетаrdеd.

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Dark Humor Jokes Internet Jokes

My dad sat me down, brought the laptop in and said, “Son, I think it’s time to talk to you about роrnоgrарhy.”
“What about it?” I replied.
“How the hеll can I get past the filters without your mum knowing?”

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Dad Jokes Internet Jokes

Here is an exchange between a mother and son in a Section 8 household. (There are never any father - son exchanges in a Section 8 household because the fathers have long since disappeared.)
…
“Momma, what be ‘Socialism’?”
…
“Well, son, Socialism is when white folks go to work every day so we can get all our benefits, like free cell phones for each family member, rent subsidy, food stamps, EMC, free healthcare, utility subsidy, free computers and Internet connection, free food, free clothing, free gifts at Christmas, and on and on.
…
That be Socialism”.
…
“But Mama, don’t the white people get upset about that?”
…
“Sure they do son; that be called Racism!”

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Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Christmas Jokes Political Jokes Internet Jokes

If time is money…. Facebook owes me like…27 billion dollars…

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Money jokes Facebook Jokes Internet Jokes

The 12-Step Program for Internet Addicts
1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper like I use to.
2) I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.
3) I will get dressed before noon.
4) I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash the dog, get the kids off to school, all before even thinking of the Internet.
5) I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Internet-deprived.
6) I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Internet.
7) I will read a book... If I still remember how.
8) I will listen to those around me and their needs and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear what is happening on the Web.
9) I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email.
10) I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is necessary or not.
11) I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too busy on my computer.
12) Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed some time.... And the Internet will always be there tomorrow!

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School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Computer Jokes Friendship Jokes Internet Jokes Banker Jokes Coffee Jokes

I went to buy some Viаgrа online but my internet connection was down and it took me two days to get it up.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Internet Jokes Viagra jokes

I was in a couple’s home trying to fix their Internet connection. The husband called out to his wife in the other room for the computer password. “Start with a capital S, then 123,” she shouted back.
We tried S123 several times, but it didn’t work. So we called the wife in. As she input the password, she muttered, “I really don’t know what’s so difficult about typing Start123.”

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Internet Jokes Office and Work Jokes Computer Jokes

I recently bought a surround-sound system for my TV - it is so crisp, clear and lifelike.
My neighbours now think I have the most incredible sеx life and can speak eight different languages…

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Sex Jokes Internet Jokes