Men-Women jokes

One day an old woman walked into a shop and got some dog food, she went to pay for it and the cashier said you can’t buy that dog food we need evidence that you have a dog, so she bought in her dog and she got the dog food.
The next day the same old lady went to get some cat food and the cashier said you can’t have that cat food we need evidence that you have a cat, so she went home and got her cat and she got the cat food.
Next day the same old lady went in again and she had a box, she told the cashier to put her finger in it, so she did.
She said it felt warm and soft, the little old lady then said now you’re satisfied can I have some toilet paper please!

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A lady went to see a tarot reader woman who'll predict her future:
Lady, I'm sorry to inform you that your husband will die in the near future.
Don't tell me things that I already know, tell me if there would be an investigation!

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes

Women are Angels.
And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...
On a broomstick.
We're flexible like that.

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes

How do men exercise on the beach?
By suскing in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

A man rushes out of his wife's hospital room.
"Doctor, doctor -- my wife's been in a coma for several months, but when I just touched her left вrеаsт, she sighed!"
"That's very encouraging," says the doctor. "Go back and touch her right вrеаsт. See if she reacts."
A few minutes later, the man rushes out again:
"Doctor, she moaned!"
"Very good," says the doctor.
"Now try оrаl sеx.
She should certainly react to that!"
Five minutes later, the man comes out back out, white as a sheet.
"Doctor -- she died."
"No! What happened?" the doctor exclaims.
"Well, doc," the man says tearfully, "she choked."

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Men vs Women Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes

How can you tell if a man is happy?
Who cares?

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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

A mother was teaching her three year old daughter The Lord’s Prayer.
For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after her mother.
One night she said she was ready to solo.
The mother listened with pride, as she carefully said each word right up to the end…
"And lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail, Amen."

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes

Something Special For His Birthday
It was Jim's birthday, and he was considered to be an "old man" by his friends standards.
So, to liven him up a bit, Jim's friends decided to give him something special for his birthday.
They bought him a hоокеr.
The call girl, as she preferred to be called, went to his house and knocked on the door.
When Jim answered, she said "Hi I'm your birthday present!"
Startled, he asked "What am I supposed to do with you?"
"I'm yours for super sеx," she answers.
So Jim replied "Well, I'm 75 years old so I'll have the soup."

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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Friendship Jokes

Why do men like маsтurватiоn?
It's sеx with someone they love.

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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Masturbation jokes

Two hunters shot a deer, and were dragging him to the car by the hind leg, which was difficult because the other legs kept snagging in the brush.
"Chet, I've got an idea, I think we are doing this wrong. Let's try dragging him by the horns, like we were advised by the ammo-store salesman."
"OK," says Ivan.
After a while, Ivan says,
"I think this is a lot better because his legs fold up and don't get caught in the brush, but we seem to be getting farther from the car."

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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

What is height of Honesty?
A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes

"What is the thickest book in the world?
What Men Think They Know About Women."

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

"There are two theories to arguing with women.
Neither one works."

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Men vs Women Jokes

Lisa needs brain surgery and figures its easier to buy a new brain.
She asks the doctor what he has on sale.
"Well you're in luck I have two in stock, a man's brain for $1000, and a woman's for $100."
Surprised she asks why the price difference?
"Generally women brains run cheaper because they come to us used!"

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes Military Jokes

A man went into the drugstore and asked for a deodorant.
"The ball type?" asked the clerk.
"No," said the dumb man. "It's for my underarms."

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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

A man knocked on a door an a women answered and he asked if he could use her toilet.
She said you have 3 chances, if you do 3 things wrong I`ll call the police.
So he went to рiss but on the flush chain there was a вrа so he ripped it off.
Then when he was walking down the stairs he saw her cat called Воовs on the step & he hates cats so he squezed it & then threw it up the stairs.
He then went in the kitchen where the women was & the women said why did you throw my cat up the stairs?
He said I don`t know.
While she went to get it, on the table was a glass of milk which he then drank.
When the women came back she said you had your 3 chances now I'm calling the Police.
When the police came they asked her what the man had done. She said this man has ripped her вrа off, squezed her Воовs and drank her milk.

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Police Officer Jokes Boob Jokes

Q: Why do some women look at blank paper?
A: They like to read their rights.

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes

Coffee, Chocolate, Men. Some things are just better rich.

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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Chocolate Jokes Coffee Jokes

I hate when I meet a girl, I'm trying to get to know her, and she's like, 'Oh, you can just Facebook me.' Вiтсh, my face is here right now!

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Men vs Women Jokes Facebook Jokes

The most important element in a relationship is communication, and women are much better at verbalizing their needs and their emotions than men 'cause they've been practicing for millions of years. Since the dawn of time, women have been getting together with their friends and discussing men, striving to reach an understanding... While men on the other hand, for millions of years, we've been getting together with our friends, looking at women and saying, 'Hey, nice вuтт!' So, we're really rетаrdеd in comparison.

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Friendship Jokes Relationship Jokes Communication Jokes