Nationality Jokes

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Българин влиза във Македония, митничарят на английски го пита: A German went to France for holiday and here is the scene, French border staff: Occupation? German: No, no, no, just visiting. A German got pulled over by the police in France. Police officer: “Name?” German: “Heinrich Klimt” Police officer: “Age?” German: “31” Police officer: “occupation?” German: “No, no. Just visiting” Un german pe aeroport in Paris. Vamesul francez se uita la pasaport si intreaba: - Ocupation? La care neamtul: - Nu, nu, doar im vizita!
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The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists.
One was a San Francisco State University graduate from an upper-crust family; well-bred, well-connected and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a redneck from Texas A & M. Go figure. The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less, and the poem had to contain the word “Timbuktu.” The San Francisco State graduate went first. About thirty seconds after the clock started he jumped up and recited the following poem: “'Slowly across the desert sand Trekked the dusty caravan. Men on camels, two by two Destination - Timbuktu.” The audience went wild! How, they wondered if the redneck could top that?! The clock started again and the redneck sat in silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped and recited: “Tim and me, a-huntin' went. Met three whоrеs in a pop-up tent. They was three, we was two, So I bucked one and Timbuktu”
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Remarks Never Heard at Daytona 500:
- None for me, thanks. That Skoal will do a number on your teeth.
- Tampax! Get your Tampax here!
- Hey, shut up! I can't hear the race!
- Sеx with your sister? Man, that's sick.
- My God, this is a splendid Merlot.
- Hey, you with the large вrеаsтs, out of the way. We're trying to watch a race here.
- Jeeves, be a good man and retrieve the Wall Street Journal from my attach case. Then fetch me some clotted cream for my scone.
- What a coincidence, Hank, all my friends are boycotting Ноотеrs, too.
- These are even better seats than we had for the Lionel Richie concert.
- Good morning, Mr. Trickle. We at 'Depends' understand you're looking for a new corporate sponsor.
- Filling in for Dale 'The Intimidator' Earnhardt today is substitute driver, Michael 'Lord of the Dance' Flatley.
- And now, singing our national anthem, international recording artist Boy George.
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