One-Liner Jokes

Most popular in this category
Wenn ich Namen von Liebespaaren in Bäume eingeritzt sehe, denke ich nicht: "Ach, wie süß." Nein, ich denke: "Erstaunlich, wie viele Leute ein Messer zu einem Date mitbringen." Als ik de namen van geliefden in een boom zie gegraveerd, vind ik het niet schattig of romantisch. Ik vind het raar hoeveel mensen messen meenemen op dates. Когато видя имената на влюбените, издялкани в дърво, не мисля, че е сладко. Мисля, че е притеснително колко много хора носят ножове на срещите си Όταν βλέπω τα ονόματα των εραστών χαραγμένα σε ένα δέντρο, δεν το βρίσκω χαριτωμένο ή ρομαντικό. Βρίσκω περίεργο πόσοι άνθρωποι παίρνουν μαχαίρια μαζί τους στα ραντεβού. Why do some people think it’s cute when lovers carve their names into a tree? I personally think taking a knife on a date is a bit creepy. Cand vad numele Indragostitilor si inimioare sculptate pe copaci nu Mi se pare totusi atat de romantic. Ma gandesc Ca e chiar ciudat cum de atat de multi oameni pleaca La intalnire cu cutitul dupa... Liebespaaren ritzen deren Namen in Bäume. Aber warum bringt da überhaupt jemand ein Messer mit zum Date?
One-Liner Jokes
My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I told them I couldn't just quit "cold turkey." Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Norma Lee.
Norma Lee who?
Norma Lee I don't eat this much! A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store for Thanksgiving Day, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She turned to the stock boy and asked, "Do these turkeys get any вiggеr?"
"No, ma'am," he replied. "They're dead." What is a turkey’s favorite dessert? - Peach gobbler! Mom wants you to help us fix Thanksgiving dinner.
Dad: Why? Is it broken? Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Tamara.
Tamara who? Tamara we'll have turkey leftovers! Why did the cranberries turn red?
Because they saw the turkey dressing! Why do pilgrims’ pants always fall down?
Because they wear their belt buckles on their hats! What did the turkey say to the computer?
“Google, google, google.” What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi. A new survey found that 80% of men claim they help cook Thanksgiving dinner. Which makes sense, when you hear they consider saying 'that smells good' to be helping.
Jimmy Fallon Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving?
The turkey because it’s already stuffed! Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn't chicken. "What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?"
"If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!" What do you call a turkey on the day after Thanksgiving?
Lucky. If Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be known for?
Their age! What did the hipster say the day after Thanksgiving?
A: I liked the leftovers before they were cool.
Thanksgiving Jokes One-Liner Jokes