Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

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What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.

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Mexican jokes Car and driving jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

Q: What did the grape say when it was stepped on?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

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Wine jokes Food Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Funny Riddles Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Communication Jokes

Q: What did the big furry hat say to the warm woolly scarf?
A: "You hang around while I go on ahead."

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? He wiped his аss.

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Gross Jokes Food Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Friendship Jokes Relationship Jokes Boycott Jokes Rude Jokes Cannibal Jokes

Knock-knock
Who's there?
Fuck.
Fuck who?
You.

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Knock-knock jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Vulgar jokes Communication Jokes

The only time the word incorrectly isn't spelled incorrectly is when it's spelled incorrectly.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Communication Jokes

Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap.
He was high on my list of priorities.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Friendship Jokes

To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

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Engineer Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

I have a horse named mayo...
Mayo neighs.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Horse jokes

What do you call an alligator that’s wearing a vest?
An investigator.

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Animal Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Bad Jokes

Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A: Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.

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Animal Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."

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School Jokes Food Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

A boy is selling fish on a corne r. To get his customers' attention, he is yelling, "Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!"
A pastor hears this and asks, "Why are you calling them 'dam fish.'"
The boy responds, "Because I caught these fish at the local dam."
The pastor buys a couple fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish. The wife responds surprised, "I didn't know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that way." He explains to her why they are dam fish. Later at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the dam fish. He responds:
"That's the spirit, Dad! Now pass the fuскing potatoes!"

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Religion jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Dad Jokes

A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500.
The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram."
She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"

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Blonde Jokes Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Animal Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.

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Animal Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Bad Jokes

Where do we get virgin wool from?
Ugly sheep.

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Animal Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Bad Jokes

Apparently taking a day off is not something you should do when you work for a calendar company.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Good jokes

Why isn’t it always hotter in the stadiums after a game?
I mean, all the fans have left.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Good jokes

For my cats, I’d climb any meow-tain.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes