Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

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"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral.

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Dark Humor Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Funeral jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Q: What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
A: I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

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Nationality Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
A: Envelope.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

A drunк walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck. The bartender says, "You can stay but don't try to start anything."

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Bar and Bartender Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

Quit my job working for Nike.
I just couldn't do it anymore.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

Q: Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
A: Because he was always spotted.

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Animal Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

Q: How do astronomers organize a party?
A: They planet.

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Science jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Space jokes

Q: How do you fix a broken tuba?
A: With a tuba glue.

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Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Internet Jokes

Don't trust atoms. They make up everything.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Science jokes Chemistry Jokes

An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard, "Woman without her man is nothing." The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly.
The men wrote, "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote, "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."

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Men jokes Jokes about Women School Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes College jokes

I Just Booked a Table for Valentines Night….
I do hope she likes Snooker.

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Valentine's Day Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

So I’ve decided that my wifi will be my valentine.
Idk, we just have this connection.

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Valentine's Day Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

What did the spider do on the computer?
Made a website!

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IT jokes Technology Jokes Animal Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

Q: Why do accountants make good lovers?
A: They're great with figures.

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Accountant Jokes Sex Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Nerd jokes

Q: What's the difference between a book and a teacher?
A: You can shut a book up but you can't shut a teacher up.

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Vulgar jokes School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Animal Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

Q: How do you make holy water?
A: You boil the hеll out of it.

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Religion jokes Sports Jokes One-Liner Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Science jokes Catholic Jokes Christian Jokes Heaven And Hell Jokes

Did you hear about the man whose whole left side was cut off?
He's all right now.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Communication Jokes

Innkeeper: "The room is $15 a night. It's $5 if you make your own bed."
Guest: "I'll make my own bed."
Innkeeper: "Good. I'll get you some nails and wood."

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Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Customer service jokes Communication Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

A teacher asked, "Johnny, can you tell me the name of three great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?" Little Johnny responded, "Drin-king, smo-king, and f*c-king."

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

The head nun tells the two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes.
So the one nun says to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door."
So they do this, and begin painting their room.
Soon they hear a knock at the door.
They ask, "Who is it?"
"Blind man!"
The nuns look at each other, then one nun says, "He's blind, he can't see. What could it hurt."
They let him in.
The blind man walks in and says, "Hey, nice t*ts. Where do you want me to hang the blinds?"

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Dirty jokes Religion jokes Men jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes